


Highly Misunderstood and Irrevocably Altered

by shereadsthestars



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, BAMF Castiel, Bisexual Dean, Castiel is a Sweetheart, Dean is a Sweetheart, Domestic Fluff, Emo Castiel, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Explicit Language, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Jock Dean, M/M, Mutual Pining, Orphan Castiel, POV Alternating, Pansexual Castiel, Punk Castiel, Schmoop, Slow Build, Struggles with Sexuality, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, brief mention of implied underage drinking, heavy internal monologue/conflict/working through emotions, kinda campy if you squint, mentions of past bullying, mentions of past violence, slight bullying, theyre both misunderstood, tortured soul castiel, tortured soul dean, will add tags when updated
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-09-15 03:57:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 93
Words: 78,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9217733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shereadsthestars/pseuds/shereadsthestars
Summary: Cas Novak and Dean Winchester may be from two entirely different worlds, but they both reside in the small Washington town of Simone Falls, where it rains more than shines.Cas comes from heartache and abandonment, pity and resourcefulness; never quite feeling as if he fit in or had a place of his own. It's actually a wonder he's made it this far.. and seemingly in one piece, no less.Dean has only ever known unbridled love and affection, no need or want going unfulfilled; his pedestal carved high and reigned upon from the moment he breathed life. Every step of the way has been paved in gold, easy to navigate and handed to him on a silver platter.So when their worlds collide, in the most mortifying, unfortunate of ways, neither of them could have even began to prepare for the journey that follows.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work of fiction and I do not own the characters of Castiel, Dean, Mary, John or Sam Winchester.
> 
> No posting schedule is ever set, so as I am able, I will update.
> 
> As always, feedback is appreciated, and I hope you enjoy.

Cas Novak, is a reject.

A reject in every sense of the word from his wild, unkempt hair, scattered piercings and tattered clothing to his piss poor attitude.

Which to be honest, no one could blame him for his attitude when he was all but abandoned by his parents at the young age of five.

He lives with his eldest cousin on the outskirts of town, just on the border of where the 'nice' neighborhood meets the more questionable ones, in a small house nestled next to one of the oldest cemeteries in the county.

He has lived with her since he was old enough to emancipate himself and move from her parents care.

In a way, it's kind of like he's already on his own- seeing as she's hardly ever around. Her work requires a lot of travel and covers her expenses while doing so- so the money that would have otherwise been spent setting her up in hotels and paying plane fair ends up going towards their rent, food on the table and in Cas' pocket.

Elise has always been like that, a free spirit. Someone who doesn't really care about material things and would be happy with nothing but a shirt on her back and food in her stomach.

It's one of the many reasons Cas had always been so drawn to her. She instilled a hope and a humbleness in him after his parents left that helped him get through his most vulnerable and impressionable of years.

He wouldn't go so far as to call her his best friend, seeing as how she's nearly ten years his senior, but he would without a doubt list her as his biggest role model and influence, one of the main reasons he struggles day in and day out to not be the giant, raging asshole that he is so destined to be.

It is after all, because of her positive and humbling outlook on life that he is and always has been, completely indifferent to the social politics that seem to define one's middle and high school careers.

And _in spite of_ that indifference.. he'd still somehow managed to rank among the lower rungs of Wellingwood's hierarchy.

People pretty much leave him alone now, though, for the most part. He's no longer the main target for ridicule and unrelenting harassment.

His take-no-shit stance and pension for fighting is well-known among the student body and often translates as some residual form of acting out due to being an orphan among the teachers and authorities.

Cas has never bothered to correct them. Hell, he's only got eight more months of this place and he'll finally be free.

He'll never see these people again so what does it matter if he's misunderstood?

The second he's got his diploma in hand, he's gone. Off to travel the world and find his niche.

Because it sure as fuck isn't this sorry excuse of a town. And he sure as fuck isn't sticking around any longer than he has to.

.

Dean Winchester is one of the most popular guys in school.

His name rings high among the upperclassmen and holds weight within the community. From his endearingly handsome good looks, clean-cut bravado and athletic standing, to his impressive GPA, charming personality and all around wholesome attitude- he's got it all.

His parents are the picture of perfection and their legacy lives on within the halls of Wellingwood High. Faculty and students alike miss no opportunity to turn to doe-eyed mush upon the mention of _John and Mary Winchester_ , even now, some 20 years later.

He has the kind of life that one could easily classify as the American Dream. A cookie cutter rendition of some black & white rerun and he _fucking hates it_.

The pressure to fill the mold that has been sculpted for him since the moment he was born only serves to suffocate him more and more as the days go on.

He's never given two shits about sports or social status or any other droll and mundane thing that seems to make the inner-workings of adolescent life tick like fine-tuned cogs in the most exquisitely flawed machine.

He just wants to step out of the spotlight and into the shadows, where he can finally breathe. Where he can finally _be_. Whatever that may, be.

Eight months.

He's got eight more months, then he'll be free.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Cas doesn't even know why he came to school today.

He was up all night after waking from a particularly off-putting dream and wishes he'd of just stayed in bed.

Elise has been gone for the last two weeks so it's not exactly like she'd know if he skipped out on the second day of class. Or that she'd care.

Skirting past his beat up 1997 Honda Accord, he had opted to walk the short mile to the ominous structure that is WHS in hopes of shaking the lingering funk left behind by his nightmare.

And though he should have known it was inevitable, he still cursed himself for being so naive the moment a cold drop of precipitation hit the bridge of his nose.

It was downpouring within a minute and by the time he finally reached the front stairs of the ancient, looming building.. he was drenched from head to toe and shivering- his mood significantly worse than it had been a mere half hour ago as he trudged through the main doors.

.

Dean is running late.

He made it as far as the stoplight a block over from his house before it was torrential raining, and he had to fumble with his breakfast wrap to flick the wipers on in half an attempt to see the road.

He should just turn around and go home.

It's only the second day of Senior year and he's already had enough.

After barely sleeping more than a wink and being wide awake when his alarm went off, he still managed to leave the house ten minutes later than he should have and even _now_ is still procrastinating enough that the car behind him lays on their horn.

He wishes he could use the rain as some sort of sign from the divine that he should in fact, drive back to his house and climb beneath the safety of his comforter.. but that would just be ridiculous.

Seeing as how it rains more than shines in this small, averagely populated forest town and using the gloomy weather as a means of navigating one's day would result in half the residents being hermits.

It doesn't stop Dean from pondering the thought, though. And as he parks his near-new Tahoe in the spot he's had since beginning of Junior year, he swallows back the dread inching it's way up his throat with the last of his breakfast and plasters on a smile.

He swings his door open and hops down into the early September rainfall, pulling his hood up over his head and hoping beyond hope that he can find the means to make it through this year in one, somewhat whole and partially sane piece.

.

Cas slams his locker and rests his forehead against the cool metal.

Not only did he _not_ have a change of clothes and is still uncomfortably damp; most likely bringing the onslaught of the beginning stages of sickness on- but he also left his phone at home and has no way of calling for a cab to come pick him up to bring his ornery ass home.

Sure, he could ask to use the one in the office, but he can see oh too clearly how that would play out and would like to avoid being reprimanded for trying to leave mid-day at all costs.

The last thing he needs is to get suspended or _worse_ for picking a fight with the poor school secretary.

He's trying to steady his breathing when he hears it. The shrill, sing-song laughter of the student elite.

He'd be able to pick out that sound anywhere and inwardly cringes as it moves closer.

Not that he lets anything they could say or do to him affect him anymore.. but today, he's just not feeling it and sends up a silent plea that they just keep on walking.

No such luck.

"Jesus, Novak.. you look like _shit_." A beefy, snide voice leers behind him and the shuffle of feet come to a slow.

"Fuck off, Malowski." Cas drawls. "I'm not in need your superior observational skills at the moment as I am obviously _very_ aware of my current state of shittiness."

Someone snorts in the small crowd and Cas smiles a little at being able to crack one of the perfect cogs, however briefly it may be.

He can see a new, expensive sneaker step into his line of vision from where he's still leaning against the locker and tenses as hot breath flashes over the side of his face.

Brendan leans in close to viciously spit, "A little early in the year to be playing those cards, don't you think, _Novak_? Shit, I'd have pegged you smarter than that, but.." he pauses, no doubt letting his twisted grin pull up at his devastatingly handsome face to lilt his following words, "I guess that's what happens when no one gives a fuck about you and you're left to figure everything out on your own."

There's a chorus of laughter behind him and Cas turns his head against the chipped red paint, looking up at Brendan out of the corner of his eye with a retort on the tip of his tongue when a strong, tanned hand closes around the asshat jock's shoulder and yanks him back.

"Back off, man. Don't be such a dick."

Another sound Cas would be able to pick out anywhere. Dean.

Cas' eyes flick from the assaulting hand to the person it belongs to and he holds Dean's gaze until Brendan shakes off the grip and snaps his head around.

"Since when do you side with the resident pariah?"

Silence falls around them and Cas straightens, wanting to hear this answer just as much as everyone else.

His hair is almost completely dry now and has started to do that thing where it curls up in all the wrong places, frizzing out at the ends and causing him to look like he'd put his finger in a light socket. A few strands fall onto his face and he brushes them away, not taking his eyes off the most coveted boy of Simone Falls, Washington.

Dean shifts from one foot to the other but his resolve remains solid and sincere. "Dude, we're _eighteen_. And Seniors. Aren't you tired of this childish bullshit? Give it a rest."

Brendan's face screws up and he searches Dean's for a moment before shaking his head and turning on his heel, obvioiusly not wanting to defy Dean in any capacity, especially not in front of their friends. "Whatever." He huffs and starts to stalk off down the hall, but not before shoulder checking Cas and causing him to stumble into the row of lockers.

A beat passes before the others follow suite and then it's just Dean and Cas standing in front of each other in the semi-desolate corridor.

Cas doesn't know what Dean's deal is, or why the fuck he chose _now_ to speak up against his friends, and on behalf of Cas for that matter.. but he sure as shit isn't going to go all grateful damsel in distress and swoon at his saviors' feet. "If I were you, I'd invest in some new friends come graduation, cause that guys' the epitome of a walking llama testicle."

Dean stares at him for a second before bursting into laughter and shakes his head. "Duly noted." He hikes his backpack up and steps around Cas, eyes crinkling with the smile tugging at his cheeks. "See ya later, Cas."

 


	3. Chapter 3

Dean hadn't caught sight of Cas for the remainder of the day.

Not that that was necessarily unusual, or that he was _looking_.. he just sort of- he kind of had this urge to talk to him again. Maybe out of some twisted form of guilt or something? Who knows.

It's not like he had an active role in the torment that was bestowed upon Cas on the behalf of his friends, but he never really questioned it or tried to put a stop to it either. So he supposes that's almost just as bad as if he himself had been delivering the punchlines.

As far as he knew, Cas had not once instigated an altercation or incident. It was always someone else, for one reason or another.

Those altercations and incidents weren't as frequent anymore, at least not like they had been Freshman and Sophomore year.

Dean doesn't really remember Cas from middle school, but he knows they attended together, seeing as how there is only _one_ in their town.

And he couldn't even begin to tell you why he's thinking about all this right now, staring out the windshield as the rain mercilessly thunders down against it, truck idling in the student parking lot as the cars slowly disappear around him.

He shakes himself out of it and shifts into reverse, taking care to back out of his spot slowly and then switches to drive and begins his route home.

He makes it as far as the other side of the building when he spots a tall, lean figure walking swiftly through the puddles littering the sidewalk; arms wound tightly around themselves as their backpack smacks forcefully with each long, hurried stride.

When Dean gets closer he recognizes said figure as none other than Cas freaking Novak and he's drenched from head to toe. He's got to be freezing. His oversized sweater is hanging from his shoulders and his too-tight faded black jeans are practically clinging to him for dear life. Dean doesn't even want to think about how soaked his feet are in those sorry excuses for shoes that'd be better off in some Skate museum somewhere forever immortalized in copper.

Dean is already slowing to a halt in the pretense of offering Cas a ride when Cas makes to jump over an upturned roadwork sign and promptly lands flat on his face.

Within an instant, Dean is parked and outside, crouching beside Cas' slumped body as he pushes himself up to one hand, face pinched in pain. Dean's stomach drops.

There's a thin gash above Cas' right eye, just next to a snug, curved silver barbell and a trail of bright red blood is streaming down his cheek.

"Jesus _fucking_.. holy shit. Are you okay?!"

Cas brings his other hand up and touches the forming knot with a wince. "There goes my modeling career." He says in such a deadpan voice Dean can only blink at him.

"Dude, are you-"

Cas' lip twitches and he starts to pull himself up. "I'm fine. Just a little bump, I'll be-" he sways a bit and Dean catches his arm.

"Hey. Uh.. let me give you a ride. Okay?"

Cas shakes his head. "Wouldn't wanna ruin your precious seats. I'll be fine, just-"

He starts to pull away and Dean tightens his grip. "Who gives a shit about my seats, Cas. You're hurt. You're _bleeding_. Like, a lot."

Cas looks at him then, for the first time since this entire debacle started and Dean wishes he could tell just what the hell was going on behind those crazy ass blue eyes.

"Fine. But you better not slap me with a bill for damage later on cause I'm not paying shit."

He turns then, yanking his arm out of Dean's grasp and starts off towards the black Tahoe parked precariously on the side of the street. It's drivers side door still open.

Son of a-

 


	4. Chapter 4

Okay so how in the fuck did he end up in Dean Winchester's car?

.. sopping wet and bleeding like a UFC fighter no less.

This was not how he had seen his day panning out, at all, and has half the mind to pinch himself.

He did hit his head pretty hard. He _could_ be imagining this right now.

Dean reaches over and cranks the heat up to full blast, in which the force of makes Cas shiver before it eventually turns to warmth.

"How's your head?" Dean asks, glancing sideways. He seems somewhat hesitant all of the sudden and Cas frowns.

"It fucking hurts."

Dean snorts and Cas recognizes it as the same one from this morning. That's.. curious.

"I mean _obviously_. But, like.. do you need to go to the hospital or something?"

Cas looks over at him, regarding his features and the hint of concern in his voice for a moment before answering. "No hospitals. I don't have insurance and they'll probably just stick a bandage on it anyway. So just bring me home."

"Please." He tacks on.

Dean nods, and before Cas can even start to give him directions, Dean is changing lanes and turning down the side street in the direction of his house.

"You know where I live?"

Dean rolls his eyes. " _Everyone_ knows where you live, Cas. You're next to that creepy ass cemetery- it's not exactly exclusive information."

"Ah." Cas quips, trying to ignore the slight buzzing in his belly at the fact that Dean knows where his house is. Even if it isn't exactly _exclusive information_ because what is that about?

They pull into the driveway and Cas pauses before opening the door, intending to express his thanks and wish Dean a good riddance when Dean cuts the engine and hops out, slamming the door behind him.

Cas watches him walk around the front of the car through the blur of rain and almost jumps when Dean opens _his_ door, causing his fingers to slip from the handle.

"Well, what are waiting for? You're bleeding out here and I'll be totally honest with you, man, I don't think I can stomach someone dying in my car." Dean smiles that award winning smile of his and then goes so far as to hold out his damn hand, like Cas needs actual _assistance_ exiting the vehicle.

He almost scoffs but accepts it anyway, dropping it as soon as his feet hit the pavement and then makes a bee line to the front door, his head down the entire way.

Dean is right behind him when he stops.

_This is where he'll say bye, having done his civil duty of making sure an injured classmate gets inside safely._

Wrong.

Dean follows him into the entryway and hangs back a beat while he flicks the light on and drops his bag to the floor. He turns to face Dean.

"Listen, you don't have to-" He starts, but is interrupted when Dean sighs loudly. Sounding almost offended, even.

"Cas, I'm not gonna leave you here like that," he gestures to Cas' eye, "and when you most likely have a some kind of concussion. Is your sister even home right now?"

Cas squints. "My sister?"

"See.. you _do_ have a concussion." Dean says, moving closer. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

Cas bats his hand away. "Dean, stop. I don't have a sister."

He can see the blood pooling out of the corner of his eye, just under his lashes as he ducks away from Dean's second attempt at checking his lucidity.

"Hey, uh, maybe we should take you to Emergency. I mean if you forgot you had a sister.. that's kinda-"

Cas groans, irritation making his face hot. "I don't have a fucking sister, _you jackass_. I'm an only child. If anything, maybe _you_ should go to Emergency so they can pump whatever the fuck it is in your system making you imagine shit that isn't real."

Dean stares at him, jaw dropping slightly. "Then.. who's that girl that lives with you?"

Oh.

How did he even..

"My cousin.." he says slowly "Elise. How do-"

"Oh." Dean says, shifting much like he had earlier in the hallway. Though now his face is a little less resolved and a lot more _awkward_. He scratches the back of his neck and shrugs. "I just assumed she was your sister. You guys look a lot alike."

Cas tilts his head to the side. "How the hell do you know what she looks like?"

"I uh," Dean huffs, ducking his head. No doubt in attempt to hide the light flush that just colored his freckled cheeks. "I seen you guys once, together.. at the farmer's market." He scuffs his shoe on the worn linoleum beneath their feet. "Last summer."

That buzzing in Cas' stomach is back and he nods slowly. "Huh."

Dean looks up at him, eyes guarded and lips jutted out in an unsure pout, like he's about to elaborate but the words haven't quite reached his mouth yet.

Cas saves him the trouble and turns, effectively breaking whatever _that_ was and takes off down the hall.

He's almost made it to the bathroom when he hears footsteps behind him, softer than what would be with shoes.

Dean appears in the doorway as he's rifling through the medicine cabinet and pauses for a second before crossing the threshold. He pats the counter. "Here.. let me help."


	5. Chapter 5

So, Cas has got like.. the _prettiest_ eyes. Holy shit.

They're watching him carefully as he wipes away at the blood, which has already begun to dry and is fighting to come up from Cas' slightly blemished skin.

"You don't have to be so gentle." Cas says, hands gripping the edge of the counter on either side of his legs. Dean is standing between them- no, not like that. Not _too_ close.. but he's close enough that he can actually _feel_ the heat radiating from Cas.

Which is really saying something, considering they're both still wet from being out in the rain.

It stirs something low in his gut and he has to clear his throat before he speaking. "Yea well, I don't wanna to hurt you."

Cas snorts so he pauses his ministrations. "Dean, my face has seen so many fists that I highly doubt a _washcloth_ is going to do any damage."

Dean rolls his eyes. "So when is your cousin gonna be back?"

Cas shrugs. "I don't know. Next week, I think."

Dean stops again.

"What?" Cas asks, and Dean ignores the tiny voice that tells him it's really cute when Cas frowns like that.

" _Dude._ "

" _Bruh_."

Dean's lip twitches. Fuck. "So you're going to be here by yourself til next week?"

"Yea." Cas says slowly, like he's dumb. "Why?"

"Your head."

"What about it."

"Oh my god, are you always like this?"

"Are _you_ always like this?

"Holy shit," Dean huffs. "I'm starting to see why you don't have any friends."

As soon as the words leave his mouth, he wishes he could shove them back in.

Shit shit fuck. Why did he say that? That is not what he meant to say. That is not what-

Cas' face hardens. "So thanks for your help, boy scout." He says, sliding from the counter and causing Dean to stumble as he bumps into him. "I trust you have enough brain in that big ass head of yours to remember where the door is, yea?"

Dean blinks.

Why is his heart suddenly in his throat?

"Breaker breaker, 123." Cas taps the side of his cheek, making him flinch. " _Get the fuck out of my house_."

So, he does.

.

The sound of the door closing echoes down the empty hallway and Cas shuts his eyes against the sting that follows.

What the fuck was he even thinking? He should have never gotten in Dean's car.

He should have never of let Dean in his house.

_Or let him touch him._

He dropped his guard, and look at what that got him.

It's because of the fall.

Because he smacked his head so hard.

This day has been doomed from the start.

And you know what?

It can just, fuck right the fuck off.

He needs Excedrin. And sleep.

And to stop this bleeding.

So he sets about patching himself up as best as can manage, all the while ignoring the uneasy pinch in his chest.

The pinch that had instantly replaced that semi-pleasant buzzing in his stomach.

_Eight. More. Months._


	6. Chapter 6

The following morning, Dean still feels like shit.

He feels like the biggest asshole on the planet and intends to apologize to Cas the moment he sees him.

He doesn't care what his friends might think, or that they'll say he's gone soft by even _considering_ giving Novak the time of day.

They don't really get him anyway. Hell, he'd probably be banned from sitting at the table come lunch if they knew he sometimes jacked off to the thought of another guy blowing him.

Or that Wheeler, they're assistant coach, makes him blush just by _looking_ at him.

It's not something he gives a whole lot of thought to himself, but it's there, right beneath the surface and always threatening to leak through.

He doesn't know what to do with these assessments, or even how to express them. So he just leaves them where they are, and focuses his energy on the opposite sex. That's what's easy. That's what doesn't freak him out.

And he _enjoys_ it, so-

He shakes his head and closes his locker.

He's gotta go find Cas.

.

Yea so Cas definitely isn't going to make it to school on time.

He turns and blinks at his clock again. 7:46 AM. _Already eleven minutes late_.

Oops.

Then, he rolls right back over and pulls the blanket up snug around his shoulders.

_Fuck it_.

.

By the time fourth period comes around, Dean figures that Cas isn't going to show. And the disappointment he feels with that conclusion hits him harder than it should.

It confuses him.

And he doesn't realize his attitude is reflecting said confusion until Meegan calls him on it. "What pissed in your cornflakes this morning?"

She's twirling her glittery purple pen around in her fingers and chewing on a piece of gum in a way that makes him grind his teeth. "Nothin'."

"Bullshit." She says, mouth curling up in the corner. She leans forward. "I've seen your O face, Winchester. I can read you, like a book."

He scoffs. _Yea, hardly_. "Nothin'. Just having an bad day."

"Awe," she coos, reaching over to slide her hand around his wrist, squeezing lightly. "Wanna come by my place later and let me make it all better?"

Last year, he would have jumped at this opportunity- _did_ jump at the opportunity, more than once. But now, for some reason, the thought of even kissing Meegan is putting him off.

Because the thing is, she is not a nice person. She's like the walking epitome of everything a typical high school mean girl is made out to be. Rich, gorgeous, drives a Lexus. Daddy is a big shot lawyer and mommy spends her time, spending _his_ money or vacationing in Oahu.

And that leaves Meegan on her own a good 98% of the time.

Which in a small town like this? Is an adolescent goldmine. He carefully extracts his arm from her grasp and rubs the back of his neck. "Yea uh, no.. thanks."

She snorts, raising an eyebrow and looks at him like he's lost his mind. Maybe he has.

"Fine. Suit yourself." She says, striving for indifference but Dean can tell her ego is a little bruised. No one's ever turned her down before- because, who would be stupid enough to do that?

There's an awkward pause, then she turns back to her notebook, and thankfully ignores him for the rest of the hour.

At lunch, she sits on the opposite end of the table, and while everyone else is none the wiser, he can't help but think to himself _one down_.


	7. Chapter 7

Cas doesn't manage to crawl out of bed until well after 2 in the afternoon.

His head is killing him, the bandage he'd so _skillfully_ reapplied at 4am is stuck to his pillow, he's bleeding again and he's hungry.

Like, starving.

He forgoes getting dressed, and meanders down the stairs in nothing more than a pair of worn boxer briefs and holy t-shirt.

The cupboards are bare, so he makes a mental note to get to the grocery store soon and puts a pot of water on the stove for macaroni and cheese.

Then, it's to the bathroom, where he once again attempts to mend his eyebrow back together. Which, wonderfully, is now not only bruised like a motherfucker but also swollen.

He thinks he should probably change the jewelry out seeing as how it's starting to dimple in, and rifles around in the drawer for the little wooden box he keeps his spare pieces in.

A lot of them haven't been worn in months; because he had taken all but his conch and eyebrow out at the beginning of the summer, in one of those irritating moods where he just needed a _change_.

Now, though, he wonders what he would still be able to get in without much of a fight.

.

"So, Dean, do you wanna hear what I have planned for the science fair?!" Sammy asks from the other side of the kitchen island.

The kid has been home for less than five minutes and _it's the second day of school_. Dean can't help but crack a smile as he turns away from the fridge. "Well, obviously."

Sam beams and hefts his bag up onto the counter, excitedly digging through it before pulling out a brightly colored orange tie-dye folder.

Dean listens to Sammy talk with apt interest as he makes them sandwiches, and barely even gets a word in because Sam is so pumped to tell him every little detail. He keeps pushing his glasses up at regular intervals, and all he's missing is a piece of white tape in the middle and a pocket protector.

Little nerd. The rest of those 8th graders better watch out. Samuel Payton Winchester is coming for them.

Soon, they navigate into the living room and take up separate sides of the large, latte colored sectional. Dean flips the tv on and tosses the remote to the ottoman between them. Cartoons are already playing, so he settles further into the cushions.

A few hours later, their mom comes home- still in her track suit with a small pompom and _Coach Winchester_ embroidered on the breast, and finds them all vegged out with an empty bag of chips and half full 2-liter on the floor.

"Hey guys." She greets, giving them each a once over that's more fond than anything. "Your dad home yet?"

"No." They both say, not even bothering to move more than their mouths.

She laughs softly and glances at the tv, watching for a moment before Dean asks, "how was practice?"

"It was good," she sighs, sitting on the arm of the couch as she drops her gym bag between her feet. "I don't think the girls are out of summer mode yet, though."

Dean snorts at that. "Yea because it was _so_ gorgeous last week. Or the week before that."

She swats him lightly on the back of his head and he laughs again, as does Sammy from the safety of his side of the couch. "You know what I mean, you smart Alice."

"Yea yea, I know."

She sits there for another minute before retrieving her bag and standing, yawning as she does so. "Well, I'm going to go take a shower and then I'll start dinner. Any requests?"

"Pizza." Sam says at the same time Dean says, "Spaghetti."

She huffs and makes her way towards the stairwell. "Figure it out. But no rough housing, I really don't feel like taking a trip to the Emergency room."

And just like that, Dean's mood sours. Because suddenly he's thinking about Cas  _again_.

Sam doesn't seem to notice, so he's left to sit there basking in his emotional turmoil over a guy he's barely had an entire conversation with and who couldn't possibly be any more out of his orbit.

Shit, they're not even on the same plane.

He stews in it, and by the time Mary comes back downstairs some half hour later, he's all but forgotten about the dinner debate.

They end up having pizza.


	8. Chapter 8

Cas stays in bed again.

He listens to how still it is outside, no movement save for the gentle breeze that blows in through the cracked window every now and then. It's just above his bed, so it ruffles the hair sticking out from the top of his blanket

A dull throb is pulsing in his head and his stomach is screaming at him, but for the life of him he can't bring himself to move.

He pulls in a slow, languid breath and tells himself just a few more minutes.

Just a few more minutes and he'll-

.

Someone slaps Dean on the back and startles him, causing him nearly drop his doughnut. He grapples for it. " _Jesus_ , dude."

Brendan laughs and falls in step with him. "Chill out, man. You're wound so tight lately. You need to freaking _relax_ , this is our year!"

Dean huffs and forces a smile. One that he hopes doesn't look as fake as it feels, because he most definitely didn't just come from taking the long way- the way that passes right by Cas' locker- and he most definitely is not in a bad mood, yet again, because Cas was nowhere to be seen.

"Speaking of which," Brendan says, leaning against the locker beside Dean's when he stops in front of it. "Meegan said she asked you over last night and you bailed. What's with that?"

Heat rushes up Dean's spine and pools in his ears. He averts his eyes and shrugs, pulling a few books out to stuff in his bag. "Wasn't really feelin' it."

Brendan laughs, loud and way too boisterously for the hour, making the hairs at the back of his neck stand. " _No fucking way_. I can't believe it. You actually turned down Meegan _wild card_ Slavinski _._ "

Dean huffs, scratching behind his ear. "Yea, guess I did."

"Damn, that's gotta be a first." Brendan says, almost thoughtfully, before he pauses and his voice dips. "Bet she's feeling extra needy now, though."

Dean rolls his eyes. "Seriously?"

Brendan only wiggles his brows in return. "Oh hell yea."

"Fucking A, man," Dean says in disbelief, closing his locker with a quick snap. "Good luck with that, then. I'll see you later."

"Later, hater!" Brendan shouts after him as he turns away and starts off down the hall.

He's halfway to class when he remembers his partially eaten doughnut, and his stomach churns at just the thought of taking another bite.

It lands next to a crumpled take-out bag in the garbage and he walks into class wiping his hand on his jacket, wondering if he should take Brendan's advice and _chill_.

.

Well, Cas can't say he's actually surprised that his face looks worse.

The bruising is dark, the swelling is massive, and in a way it almost looks like someone socked him in the eye.

He also fucking stinks.

So he climbs in the shower and tries not to get all metaphorical on how it feels like he's washing away all the shit that's clung to him for the last couple days.

But when he gets out, he feels significantly better. Refreshed even. And a glance at his phone tells him he should be able to make it to school in time for lunch.

Awesome.


	9. Chapter 9

Cas bypasses the front entrance and ducks around the side of the building, cutting through the courtyard full of students all in various stages of lounge.

Despite the fact that it's still cloudy and not a speck of sunshine can be accounted for, there's no rain. And that's big deal, so everyone is taking full advantage.

He's got his hood pulled up high in somewhat of an attempt to shield his face, which of course does nothing to deter the whispers from happening as he makes his way to the cafeteria doors.

You'd think by now it wouldn't sting as much.

And if he wasn't so hungry he'd tell them all to fuck off. But as it stands, he's starving, so he keeps his head down and makes a bee line straight for the serving stations as soon as he's inside.

.

"Oh shit," Delaney says, motioning with his sandwich. "Check out Novak."

Dean looks up from his sorry excuse of a taco salad, along with the rest of the table, and his heart immediately stops. _Oh my god_.

"Dude looks like he got his ass beat." Delaney continues and while Dean usually gets along with the guy, if he doesn't wipe that amused smile off his face Dean is going to-

"He was probably running his mouth again." Brendan says around a mouthful of pizza, eyes alight. "That's what he fuckin' gets. Too bad I missed it, shit was probably brutal."

Dean bites his tongue, the urge to correct them strong. Because not only would be way too difficult to explain _how_ he knows how Cas' face got all fucked up, but also _why_ he then insisted on taking care of him.

He still hasn't quite figured that part out himself yet so, he clenches his jaw and keeps his eyes trained on Cas as he makes his way through the lunch line.

That hood isn't doing shit to hide the shiner he's got and Dean kinda wants to go up and talk to him right now. I mean, he's been mulling over how to apologize since the moment he left Cas' house anyway, right? So what's stopping him?.

"It's a shame really." Celeste pipes up from the other side of Brendan, pulling all eyes from Cas to her. "He'd actually be kinda cute if he took at that shit out of his face and stopped dressing like a homeless skateboarder."

"Oh for fuck's sake," Jake says, tossing his empty jello cup at her at the same time Meegan makes a disgusted face and adds, " _Gross_."

Everyone breaks out in laughter and Dean feels like he's going to be sick.

He pushes away from the table so hard he practically knocks his chair over in the process.

"Hey man, where you going?" Brendan asks as he picks up his tray.

"I gotta hit the head," He lies, not even bothering to wait around long enough to hear Brendan's response.

He doesn't care.

He just needed to get out of there. Away from that table and away from that fucking conversation.

.

There's really something to be said for enjoying a mediocre slice of pizza all by your lonesome, stashed away in the old east stairwell that no one ever bothers to use anymore because it always reeks like mothballs and mildew.

Cas peers out the large plated windows from where he's perched on the sill and wonders what it must be like for everyone down there. With how reduced to the mundane their lives are and how they even manage to function when their minds are occupied with nothing other than:

Who's going to homecoming with who. Who's fucking who. Party at _insert name here's._

Cas would almost laugh if he didn't find it so sad.

It may be foreign to him, but he'd be damned if he ever let himself get caught up in that fuckery.

No thanks.

He takes another bite of his pizza stares at the chipped pale blue wall in front of him.

This suits him just fine.


	10. Chapter 10

Dean is starting to wonder if Cas really _had_ been here all along but is so good at evading people that Dean just hasn't seen him.

He waited outside the cafeteria, tucked in a little cubby between two short rows of lockers, but Cas never showed.

Dean supposes he could have gone back outside, to the courtyard, but that seems unlikely seeing as how there were even _more_ people out there than there were in the cafeteria itself. And if the way Cas' shoulders were hunched and his head was down, Dean would be willing to bet money that the last thing Cas wanted to do was subject himself to even more scrutiny.

So where the fuck was he then?

The warning bell rings and Dean curses. He's nowhere near his damn locker, so he takes off down the hall at a sprint, all the while chanting _shit shit shit_ to himself.

Because he's going to be late.

He's mentally preparing himself for the reprimand he'll most likely get when he rounds the corner and a large metal door swings open, nearly knocking him on his ass.

"Son of a-" He starts but cuts off as soon as his eyes meet the wide blue ones staring back at him.

"Sorry." Cas says shortly once he realizes who he'd hit, and then skirts right past Dean like he wasn't even there.

Dean blinks after him.

What the..

"Cas!" He shouts before he can stop himself, effectively halting not only Cas, but also the good dozen or so people around them.

Cas turns slowly, and suddenly Dean's words are stuck in his throat.

_Come on, come on. Say something. Anything_.

"Should have put some ice on that, huh? Looks like shit."

_Idiot_.

Why did you-

And just like that, whispers break out, cutting through the silence like a swift, sharp blow and Cas scoffs. He doesn't bother dignifying Dean's asinine statement with a response, and instead just rolls his eyes, flips him off, and disappears through the crowd.

_Fuck_.

.

Honestly, who the fuck does Dean Winchester think he is?

What, did he just wake up one day and decide that Cas would be the perfect candidate to take on as some kind of pity project? A small, fragile being to protect from his big bad friends and someone to swoop in and rescue like a knight in shining armor every time Cas so much as _breathes_ distress?

Fuck that.

And fuck Dean Winchester.

Cas slams his locker and starts off towards his class.

He knows he's already late, and that he's behind, but if anything the anger he feels roiling around inside of him only fuels his need to apply himself even more, to ensure that come May, there's a diploma waiting there with his name on it.

Because he cannot be stuck in this hellhole.

He can't.

.

Okay, so. This is.. kind of bad.

No, it is bad. It's really bad.

Potentially even _punishable_ if any of the teachers catch wind of it.

Rumor has it, that _Dean_ is the one responsible for the black eye Cas is sporting.

And while just the thought of hitting Cas is setting his nerves on end, he can't shake the nasty feeling that people actually think he's worthy of doing such a thing.

" _Dude!_ " He turns around to see Brendan and the guys approaching him, all wearing wide, matching smiles and his stomach sinks. "No wonder you've been acting all skittish lately. You got into it with Novak! Why didn't you say anything?!"

Dean opens his mouth to answer but Jake chimes in. "What, did he come after you the other day or something? When we left?"

"N-"

"Shit." Brendan says, eyes wide. "He didn't hit on to you did he? I heard he's a queer you know- Alice said she seen him making out with some dude behind the auditorium last year. Fuckin' fa-"

"What?! Dude. _No_." Dean finally bursts. "Jesus fucking Christ, guys. Listen- he didn't fucking _hit_ _on me_ and I didn't fucking _fight_ him, alright?"

"Wha-"

"He fell, okay?" He says, zipping his bag, face red hot. "I was driving home and seen it happen. He cracked his shit wide open so I stopped to help him and ended up giving him a ride. He-"

"Wait wait wait. You _helped_ him? Dude seriously, since when do you-"

"Just fucking drop it okay? I don't need to explain myself to you and I sure as fuck don't have to justify _not_ being an asshole to someone."

"Dude, wai-"

"I gotta get home. I'm helping Sammy with his science project."

He should probably feel guilty for lying about helping his little brother, but it's the first plausible excuse he can think of and it allows him to walk away without another word.

And when he's exiting the parking lot a few minutes later, he doesn't turn in the direction of his house, but instead in the one towards the oldest cemetery in town.


	11. Chapter 11

Cas has never really been a mindful eater per se, but for some reason he's really craving some organic Greek hummus and those fancy gluten-free pita chips covered in sea salt right now, so he winds up browsing the shelves of the local whole foods store.

He also figures, that since Elise will be home in a few days, the least he can do is make sure the kitchen is stocked so she doesn't have to worry about doing it herself, what with the lag of traveling and all.

He throws another bag of blueberry flavored popcorn in the cart and strolls down the rest of the Salted Snack aisle, in no rush whatsoever, reading each and every label as he goes.

The riff to an obscure indie song catches his attention and he taps his thumb along with the beat against the cool plastic of the carts' handle.

It's not like he's trying to distract himself or anything. No, because that lost look in Dean's eyes earlier is _definitely_ not bothering him, just like the words that accompanied it aren't either.

And they are most definitely not replaying over and over again in his mind.

Nope.

Just- why does Dean care anyway?

By all laws of logic, he shouldn't. So why did he even bother to call out after him in the first place?

_Stop thinking about it_.

So he does- forces himself really, and goes about filling the cart with everything that looks even remotely appetizing and then proceeds to the checkout.

The total makes him cringe but it's okay, he chides mentally, because he hasn't been properly grocery shopping in weeks.

This is just making up for it, and if he was a little indulgent in the process, oh well. He's hurt and needs a pick-me-up.

And, the prospect of that pick-me-up flies right out the window as soon as he gets close enough to his house to see that big, shiny black Tahoe parked in the driveway.

"Oh what the fuck." He mutters to himself, reluctant to even pull in.

He's got $10 ice cream in the back though and he'll be pissed as hell if it melts and he has to trash it before he gets a bite.

So he slows to a stop right along side the leering truck, and as he's about to shift into park, the drivers side door of it opens and a sheepish looking Dean rounds the hood.

That lost expression is on his face again along with a few other things that Cas can't pinpoint, but he figures the sooner he can get this over with, the sooner Dean can go back to fucking off and leaving him alone.

He parks, and gets out of the car. "What do you want?"

.

"Uh.. fuck." Dean stops. "I'm.. sorry." He says, scratching the back of his neck. "About everything."

Cas crosses his arms and raises a brow, an action which is aborted immediately with a wince. "Great, thanks. You can leave now."

"What? No." Dean says, stepping forward as Cas turns to open his rear car door. "I mean it. I'm sorry."

"And I heard you." Cas counters from where he's bending to reach into the backseat. "So you can leave."

"Jesus, Cas. I'm trying to apologize here. Like, sincerely. Why won't you let-"

"Because it doesn't matter."

"What?"

" _It doesn't matter_." Cas says, extracting himself from the car with an armful of paper grocery bags. "I mean, what exactly is the outcome you're hoping for here Dean?"

Dean blinks.

He hadn't really thought-

"See." Cas says, slipping past him.

"Cas, that's not-"

"So then, _why_ does it matter? Why are you even here?" Cas has stopped, and is watching him from the first step of the porch.

"I.."

Cas huffs and shakes his head. "This may come as a big surprise to you, but, not everyone is a plaything in which you are entitled. Nor.. does anyone owe you a fucking thing."

He continues up the stairs after that and lets himself into the house, shutting the door behind him and leaving Dean to stand dumbstruck in the driveway between the two cars- one of which still has it's door open and a seat full of groceries.


	12. Chapter 12

Cas was smart and grabbed the bags with the frozen shit in them first, so he could put it all away and wait for Dean to leave.

For a few minutes he thought Dean was going to actually stand there in the driveway as a form of protest until Cas came out and accepted his apology, but he eventually got in his truck and drove away.

_What in the fuck_.

He's not going to lie, the whole encounter stirred more emotions than he's willing to admit, but that doesn't change the fact that Dean is an asshole.

An asshole who is easily one of the most popular guys in school. In the entire _town_ , really. And his family? Jesus, Cas would never under any circumstances fit into a scenario involving them, or Dean, ever.

They just don't mesh. There is _zero_ compatibility, on every wavelength.

So why is Dean pushing so hard for a truce?

What could he possibly gain from it?

Cas has nothing to offer Dean's apple pie life.

He's damaged. Tainted.

And he came to the conclusion a long time ago that no one in their right mind would want him around, tarnishing their reputation or unsettling their very existence.

.

"Is everything okay?" Sammy asks from the beanbag in front of Dean's desk. He's paused the game and is watching Dean in a way that no younger sibling should ever look at their older one.

"Of course." Dean plasters on a smile, feigning a bravado he nowhere near feels.

"Are you sure?" Sam presses, concern written all over his pimply little face.

"Yea man, I'm good. Now let's get back to me kicking your ass." Dean laughs and presses resume. He dutifully ignores the way Sam doesn't immediately begin playing again, and definitely doesn't pay any mind to how he so obviously was letting on to how much this whole thing with Cas is affecting him.

He can't even begin to explain why either, but something has got to give because practice starts up in a few days, and even though he'd rather not play football at all, that doesn't change the fact that he has to.

He has obligations.

To his dad, his team.. hell, the whole _town_.

He's _Dean Winchester_ , and unfortunately for him, the name carries a lot more than he wishes it did.

He's trapped. Trapped in a life he doesn't, or hasn't ever, wanted.

.

Cas is restless.

He's been flipping through Netflix for the last three hours and has eaten more in that span of time than he has in the past week.

He feels sick.

It could have something to do with the fact that his gourmet ice cream is now no more than an empty container in the bottom of the trash, along with a handful of other discarded packages, but it could also have something to do with the fact that he sort of feels like an ass for snubbing Dean earlier.

I mean, the guy is still a jerk, but..

Ugh.

He's not supposed to feel bad for damaging Dean's ego.

He's not supposed to give in and surrender like every other fucking person in this piece of shit town does at the mere snap of Dean's fingers.

He's not supposed to _care_.

So why, as he hits _Yes, I'm still watching_ yet again, does he see Dean's open, vulnerable face instead of the cartoons on the screen?

He sighs loudly and tosses the remote towards the other end of the couch, then heaves himself up.

The small wooden box is still on the bathroom counter, and he stops shy, toying with it in his hands as he stares into the mirror.

He's not sure what he's looking for, but after a few minutes of deep resignation, another sigh escapes him and he sets about freeing his piercings of jewelry.

The only thing remaining is the thin silver hoop in his left nostril when he's done.

There, maybe this will do something to quell the incessant itch under his skin; the one humming and goading at him for change.

Hopefully.


	13. Chapter 13

The next day, Cas braced himself for a confrontation that never came. It's not that he hadn't seen Dean at all, because he had. Twice, actually.

The first time Dean looked away as soon as their eyes met, almost like he'd lose his vision if he held the contact any longer, and the second time he acted as if he hadn't even seen Cas to begin with.

Well, good.

_That's good_ , Cas told himself. _Just what you wanted_ , he reminded sternly.

Except.. why did it make his chest ache the way it had?

.

Brendan skirted around Dean all day. As did the rest of their group, and thankfully by last bell, the stupid rumor of him jumping Cas had all but died.

_Cas_.

Dean sighs, spinning the pencil around in his fingers. The worksheet lain out in front of him has been empty for the last thirty minutes, and he's _this_ close to just putting it away and dealing with it in the morning.

The smell of grilled chicken is wafting up the stairs and into his room via the cracked door and he can hear Sammy watching what sounds like a documentary across the hall. His dad is out back having at it with the weed whacker while the rain is still holding off and his phone just vibrated again from it's place on his bed.

He stares at the blank lines, trying not to think about the way Cas' face had fallen earlier when he pretended he wasn't there.

Because what was even with that?

Isn't that what Cas _wanted_? For Dean to leave him alone?

To ignore him?

So then why the hell was he all tortured soul when Dean had actually gone through and done it?

God, that dude is so..

Dean can't even think of a fitting word to describe Cas.

A fucking mess, maybe? Yea, that sounds about right. Really hard to read? Uh, affirmative. A major pain in the ass? Yep, most definitely. Incredibly freaking _hot_?

Yes. On all counts.

Dean groans, dropping his forehead to the desk. " _Why_."

.

Cas has his bedroom window open all the way, propped as far as it will go with an old busted dowel that's only purpose in life has ever been to do exactly what it is now.

He's sitting in the middle of his bed, books and papers everywhere, honing in on the spiraled notebook resting on his knee. His fingers are starting to cramp with how quickly he's been writing and he stops just long enough to flex them.

There's no slipping now, though, as this newly acquired ache has nestled right up beside the existing anger, pushing him harder to not only make up what he had fallen behind on, but to excel even further.

It's giving him something to focus on, something to take his mind off the stab of having Dean Winchester so close he could have grasped to once again just being something he can only view from the distance.

It's funny how the mind works. How sometimes your brain decides to only remember certain parts of singular moments- these tiny little pieces that get overridden the second said moment takes a turn from the ideal.

All these tiny little pieces are coming back to him now, and with each fresh wave of memory comes a new glimpse or flicker of Dean's brows creased in concern as he crouched over Cas laying on the wet sidewalk.

Of the way Dean had insisted on following him inside, making sure that he was lucid and okay to be on his own. The way.. _the way Dean had felt slotted between his knees_ , so gently wiping away at his blood.

It was a side of Dean that Cas apparently didn't want to remember, especially in light of the cruel words that followed.

It was a side of Dean that Cas keeps wondering how many people had actually seen before.

He shakes his head.

_Don't go there again_.

He's not sure how long he'd paused from his scribbling, but he decides not to note that the sun is now significantly lower on the horizon than it had been prior.

The pencil meets the paper with new vigor this time, and he only stops again to flip on the light.


	14. Chapter 14

Saturday practices are the worst.

And to make matters even less desirable, it's raining. Hard.

You would think that maybe Coach would want to move them all indoors, seeing as how a sick player is basically an absent player, and it'd be really stupid to bench anyone after the first practice, but no.

Here they are, running laps in the mud and trying to keep warm by exerting themselves more than is probably necessary.

First game of the season is in a two weeks though, and then it's the homecoming game after that.

Which is like, a big deal.

A _really_ big deal.

The thought of it makes cool dread run down Dean's spine and pool in his stomach.

He's not looking forward to being thrust even further into the spotlight. He's not looking forward to having to talk to the local newspaper and run on homecoming court.

He doesn't want to spend all night of the dance smiling and acting like he's not screaming inside while Kennedy hangs all over him, probably expecting him to put out by the end of it.

He's chasing that particular image away when he stops abruptly, having ran right into somebodies back.

"Dude what is your fucking deal?!" Brendan spits. "Watch where the hell you're going."

"Sorry, man." Dean staggers back a step, the rain pelting into his eyes and sputtering from his lip as he heaves. "I zoned. Uh.. homecoming, you know?"

Brendan's eyes flash so he pointedly tacks on, "Kennedy."

It's mostly on auto-pilot but still makes his stomach churn uncomfortably. Brendan smiles, that big, wide grin of his and slaps Dean on the shoulder. "Yea? You gonna try to maybe to get that after?"

Dean suppresses a chill. He shrugs. "I dunno. Maybe."

 _Oh god_.

Brendan laughs. "Shit yea. _There's_ the Winchester we all know."

He tries not to let the implication that he hasn't been _himself_ lately bother him. But it does. A lot.

So when they start running again, he focuses on the wet smack of mud against his calves and the dull pattering of drops on his head instead of the weird twisting in his gut.

.

"You know, I'd say I'm surprised, but I'm not." Elise says, smiling at him from the doorway where she's still got a pack and two duffles hanging off of her.

Cas rolls his eyes. "It was actually a solo job this time."

She lifts an incredulous brow and drops her bags. "Do I even wanna know?"

"Let's just say that my life as a professional stuntman would be highly unsuccessful because apparently I have the coordination of a drunken blind man where rain and upended road signs are concerned."

Elise huffs out a laugh and shakes her head, stepping forward to pull him into a hug. "Only you."

He melts into the embrace, feeling more at peace than he had since she left last. He smiles. "Only me."

.

"Hey so we're going to the lookout later, you comin'?" Brendan asks after practice, no doubt an olive branch in which he expects Dean to take.

Dean finishes pulling his shirt off and nods. "Uh, yea. Yea I'll be there."

"Awesome." Brendan grins. Then from behind them, Delaney thwacks him on the ass with a damp towel and takes off running.

"Oh, you fucker!" Brendan shouts, chasing after and causing a chorus of laughter to pick up throughout the locker room.

Dean huffs in spite of himself and shakes his head. _Idiots_.


	15. Chapter 15

The lookout is nothing more than a glorified clearing in an otherwise densely wooded patch of forest. It's not too far off the main trail so it's easily accessible to anyone, but is mostly occupied by high school kids.

Sometimes college students.

The nice thing about it though, is that it's canopied by the treetops overhead, leaving it barely touched by the precipitation that happens a good 80% of the time.

Another defining quality, the one that draws everyone in, is the breathtaking view that spans down and over the river running through the edge of town.

It's not that significant of a drop, and they even jump from it in the summer, but it's enough to give the illusion that you're a lot higher than you actually are. Especially with the way the other side is lined with thick forest, right up to the waters edge.

A small fire is going, supplying additional warmth to the alcohol buzzing through Dean's veins, and the sun hasn't quite set yet, so there is still a gray, misty fog ghosting just over the green opposite him.

The back of his truck is open, parked at an angle, providing not only a place for the coolers to sit, but also an appeasing sound system.

_Just like normal_ he thinks to himself, then tips back his bottle to quiet the niggling at the back of his mind. The one saying _but maybe it doesn't have to be_.

.

"So I got you this." Elise says, dropping a cold, heavy object in Cas' lap from over the back of the couch.

He looks up at her, then down to his lap and a broad smile breaks out across his face. "Shut the fuck up."

"I was expecting a _thank you_ , or _wow this is really cool_. But I guess that will work too." She laughs, strolling into the kitchen to pull out the unopened container of hummus from the fridge.

"Where did you find this?" He breathes, inspecting the old Polaroid camera. It's easily vintage and is easily worth a few hundred dollars.

She shrugs, plopping down on the opposite end of the couch. "I was sworn to secrecy."

He shakes his head, huffing in disbelief. "Thank you."

Yea, his voice may waiver a bit, and his eyes may be a little watery, but when he flips the top open and holds it up to capture the _exact_ moment Elise shoves a pita chip with half the hummus on it in her mouth, his heart has never been more full.

.

Celeste is a warm, familiar weight in Dean's lap; her arms wrapped languidly around his shoulders as she slides her tongue in his mouth again, coaxing another hum from his throat.

It's full dark now, save for the fire raging beside them and tall, withering orange shadows are licking up the width of the tree trunks, encompassing their surroundings.

The only sounds are occasional muffled laughter or muted moans escaping into the quiet and it all seems so distant- so far away and clouded over like waking from a feverish dream.

His head is swimming.

When.. did his arms go numb?

Celeste shifts, grinding down into him, and she smiles against his lips when he squeezes her waist.

He can't feel his fingertips.

"Mmm," She murmurs. "You taste so good Dean."

Her hand cards up through his hair and tugs lightly.

His heart starts beating faster and he pulls in a slow, deep breath through his nose. Why does he suddenly feel so hot?

"Can't wait to feel you inside me," she whispers.

He's not even hard.

His stomach rolls and he swallows the access saliva it produces.

He doesn't want to be here.

She drags her nails against his scalp and circles her hips again.

_Motherf-_

He doesn't want to add yet another meaningless hookup to his already too-long list.

He doesn't want to just become a bragging right that Celeste can tack to her achievements sash and move onto the next conquest like he never even mattered.

He's so tired of this cycle. So sick of this hollow, artificial existence that is consuming him whole.

A fresh wave of nausea hits him and Celeste pauses, pulling back just enough to look at him. "What is i-"

It's then that he realizes she must have noticed his sudden lack of enthusiasm and her face screws up in disgust.

She starts to scoot off his lap. "I swear to god if you puke on me I will literally murder you."

He blinks up at her, mouth dropping open in shock. "Uh.. wasn't plannin' on it."

"Ugh, just-" She adjusts her shirt and throws her hands out to the side like she's trying to shake the ick off then stumbles across the clearing, not so much as casting another glance in his direction before disappearing around the truck.

He stares after her, a loud whirring in his ears that's only getting more intense by the second.

His stomach lurches again and he turns just in time to heave on the other side of the log on which he is sitting. The cold of darkness washes over his face and is a stark contrast to the heat ripping through the rest of him.

One hand flies out to brace against the damp earth and he digs in, a weak attempt to ground himself as he retches violently beside it.


	16. Chapter 16

Cas glances around the cemetery, eyes scanning numerous headstones illuminated by the rare, overbearing sunshine, and tries to pick his next subject.

The strap to his messenger bag is worn and digging into his shoulder, which is slightly uncomfortable in the heat of direct light, so he adjusts it and stalks off towards a particularly interesting cluster of markers.

All of them lean at an unnatural angle, no longer level after years and years of rain and elements that have forced the earth to shift and sink below them.

There's one, right in the middle, that catches his attention.

It's covered in moss and has a diagonal crack down it's center- most likely the product of being struck by lightening, and the remnants of what appears to have once been the face of an angel is now no more than a crumble of stone.

He kneels, knee digging into the soft brush beneath him as he steadies the camera, finger poised on the shutter release, ready to take the picture when-

He freezes, sucking in a sharp breath.

The small butterfly lands at the very tip of the crack; it's bright blue wings fluttering delicately as it settles into place, basking in the warmth provided by the sun and creating such a contradictory sight Cas can only blink in awe.

He exhales slowly through barely parted lips, and presses down.

The release makes a small, mechanical sound and the butterfly flits away.

His other knee hits the ground with a hollow _thud_ and he grabs the photograph before it's fully ejected from the slot.

Impatience has him shaking it before he can stop himself and as the outlines begin to gradually appear within the tiny, squared frame, a smile spreads across his face that he can hardly contain.

" _Holy shit_."

.

_[Received- Brendan]_

_so how many times did u puke when u got home_

Dean groans, rubbing a hand over his face as he reads the text.

_[Delivered]_

_fuck off_

His room is hot and his head is pounding and he does _not_ want to think about last night.

At all.

Jesus, why is it so _bright_ in here.

He throws the blanket off of him and squints at the windows.

Huh.

Though the curtains are thick, and generally block any flickers of sunlight, they're doing a pretty shit job right now of keeping it out. He pushes himself to one one elbow and his phone vibrates again.

_[Received-Brendan]_

_hahaha u sorry son of a bitch_

_didnt get any ass AND got celeste all pissed at u. bet shes gonna tell everyone u couldnt get it up either_

_but hey at least youll have the hangover to prove why_

Dean doesn't bother responding and instead throws his phone into the mess of blankets, then crawls out from beneath them.

His stomach turns when he stands and he has to swallow back at the taste of bile on his tongue. Which is dry, and stuck to the roof of his mouth, making him gag when it pulls away.

He needs water. And possibly food. And.. a shower. Cause, _ugh._

 _What the fuck_.

Is that dried puke?

The grimace that stares back at him in the mirror when he wanders into the bathroom only serves to relay about a fraction of what he's actually feeling. And when he steps under the hot stream a moment later, he tries not to let the fresh sting in his eyes bother him as much as the heavy anchor nestled just beneath his ribs.


	17. Chapter 17

Cas hasn't decided which is worse: Dean once being a quiet, impartial bystander to his ridicule on the behalf of Dean's hoard of asshole friends, or having Dean now pointedly, _purposefully_ ignoring him.

It's been almost two weeks since Dean had showed up in his driveway and Cas can still hear the entire conversation as if it had just taken place minutes ago.

And while that conversation could have- _should have_ , easily be written off as nothing more than a guilty conscience only trying to make amends, Cas can't get that.. _look_ out of his mind.

The one that he couldn't pinpoint at the time, but as each day drags on, and the more he thinks about it.. the more something screams at him not to let it go.

Not to just drop it and swallow his hurt.

So, he hasn't, and here he sits.. alone in the abandon east stairwell wondering yet again what Dean could have possibly wanted from him.

.. what would have happened had he accepted Dean's apology?

Where would he be, right now?

Would anything have even changed?

Cas has a hard time believing Dean would want an actual friendship out of the whole deal, let alone-

Nope.

_Don't even fucking go there_.

Cas reminds himself that just because Dean's actions have stirred such a whirlwind of conflicting emotions inside of _him_ , that it doesn't necessarily translate to the same happening on Dean's end.

The guy is _straight_ for Christ's sake, why would-

_You don't know that for sure_.

Cas rolls his eyes, knocking his head back against the warped blue plaster and releases a frustrated sigh. " _Goddammit_."

.

Dean hated having to act interested in something as insignificant as corsage and boutonniere colors, especially when it was over his lunch and in the too-loud cafeteria.

"Oh my god you should totally go with the dusty lilac, it will match the lace on the bodice." Meegan was saying to Kennedy as they sat hunched over her phone.

"I don't know, maybe a deeper lavender so it will pop with the gemstones." Celeste adds thoughtfully from across the table.

"What do you think, Dean?" Kennedy asks, leaning forward to look around Jake.

All eyes snap to him and Brendan stifles a laugh. "Uh.. I dunno, maybe the dusty one?"

Meegan rolls her eyes and Kennedy smiles. "But I want it to match with you, too. Did you decide which color tie you're wearing yet?"

"Uhm," he clears his throat. "Yea, a uh, purple one."

Brendan barks out in laughter and Alice mutters something that sounds like _for fucks sake_.

Kennedy's smile falls and her eyes narrow slightly. "You do realize that that there are at least _thirty_ different shades of 'purple' in my dress, right? You can't just, _wear purple_ and expect it to match."

"I.." he blinks at her, kind of taken aback by her attitude. "Jesus, Ken, it's not that big of a deal. It's a fucking _tie_."

She scoffs, arching a perfectly shaped brow. "Not that big of a deal? Dean, my parents hired a professional photographer to take our pictures before we leave. These are going to permanently commemorate our _senior homecoming_. How do you not realize how important this is?"

He bites back his answer, the urge to cancel the whole thing right now so strong he can taste it.

_He doesn't even want to go_.

The table is silent and even the one beside theirs has fallen quiet as well, waiting for his answer.

He sighs. "Sorry. I'll uh.. why don't we go later and you can pick out one that you think matches best."

The smile that lights up her face at that makes his skin crawl and he forces one of his own.

"Great," she says, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "You can pick me up after practice and we can get something to eat before."

"Yea." He nods, trying his best to not sound as put-out as he is. "Sounds good."


	18. Chapter 18

 

Cas has never cared about football games, or basketball games.. or hell, even swim meets.

But when he walks through the front doors of school Monday morning, what he is met with is not at all what he's come to expect after game weekends.

It's somber.

Depressing, almost.

He makes his way down the hall almost in a daze, passing through clusters of people all huddled together as if they're in mourning. And by the time he's reached his locker, he's managed to suss out that they lost on Friday and a lot of _why_ had to do with how poorly Dean played.

Cas' chest pinches every time someone whispers the name with venom and part of him wants to bark at them _who the fuck cares_.

It's a stupid game.

Dean is only human.

_Leave him the fuck alone._

But he stops himself, focusing on exchanging the books he needs before heading to class. Because.. since when the hell did he become so protective of Dean?

.

Dean isn't stupid.

His teammates tell him that it's not that big of a deal, but he knows that it really is that big of a deal.

Because the whole fucking town is talking about it.

They _never_ lose.

Ever.

And a lot of why they never lose is because Dean is almost always the one carrying them to victory.

But this time? Yea, not even close.

He just couldn't focus, couldn't get his head in the play and he really wishes he could blame it all on first game jitters, or even the pressure that's put on his shoulders to exceed, but he can't.

Because truth of the matter is, this whole thing with Cas is really eating him up.

Fucking _Cas_ , man.

With his big, stupid blue eyes and that dumb, messy ass hair and those fucking god awful clothes. Always looking so put out and _sad_.

Like, seriously, _what is with that_?

Why does he have to look so bummed all the time? And like he's really having a hard time with Dean not talking to him?

 _He's_ the one who didn't want anything to do with Dean in the first place.

 _He's_ the one who snubbed each and every one of Dean's attempts to reach out to him.

It's not like he seemed like he was exactly into the idea of starting up a friendship.

And it's not like he's _into_ Dean or anything.

Right?

.. right?

Shit. What if..

No. No way.

All that crap Brendan said about Alice seeing him with another guy is probably just a rumor. Just another thing he and the rest of them came up with to fuck with Cas.

And, besides.. even if he _was_ into guys, into whatever, that doesn't mean he'd be into Dean.

He'd probably go for someone more like himself, someone rough. Someone who hangs out at those seedy bars downtown that host open mic nights and always get the cops called for noise complaints.

Not someone like Dean, who's a clean cut golden child and comes from a world of athletes, Sunday barbecues with the neighbors, pressed polo shirts and vacation beach homes on the coast.

He's so caught up in his reverie that he doesn't realize he's slowed walking until someone steps in front of him.

It takes a moment for them to come into focus but when they do, his heart stops.

Cas shifts, then says, "hey."


	19. Chapter 19

Well, Cas obviously didn't think this through.

At all.

He didn't think about what would happen once he was actually standing in front of Dean but now he's here, and it's too late to walk away, so he just has to exude this certain sense of calm he nowhere near feels and act like he isn't freaking the fuck out inside when he most definitely _is_ freaking the fuck out inside because Dean is just staring at him.

Not saying anything.

_Why isn't he saying anything?_

Cas fidgets, wrapping an arm around himself. "So, um.. that sucks about the game."

And dear god, if he could smack himself right now, he would.

Because, really?

_That's_ what you go with?

_That sucks about the game?!_

Dean huffs and scratches behind his ear. "Yea, I mean.. it is what it is." He shrugs.

Right.

Okay then.

Dean looks.. awkward.

Really awkward.

And Cas tries to stop his heart from sinking but he's far too slow on the curb; it pummels.

This was a bad idea.

A _horrible_ idea.

Dean obviously doesn't want to talk to him and has clearly been avoiding him for a reason.

He feels like a fucking idiot.

How could he think for even one millisecond that he would stand a chance of being in Dean's life, at any capacity?

He's a nobody, a _loser_ -

"But, um.. thanks. For, you know." Dean says, pulling him from his thoughts.

It's then that he realizes he had yet to respond to _Dean's_ response and his cheeks begin to heat.

"Yea. I mean, of course. I just figured.."

What _did_ you figure, Cas?

His sentence trails off and he wishes Dean would stop looking at him like that.

_Why is he looking at me like that?_

Then, as if he isn't already embarrassed enough, the bell rings.

And he jumps.

Dean's lip twitches and he flushes completely.

"I gotta-" he says, motioning down the hall. Because _get me the fuck out of here_.

Dean nods. "Yea, me too. I have-" he waves a hand down the opposite way.

"Okay. So."

"Yea. I'll just.." Dean says, stepping around him at the same time that he goes to step around Dean.

"I'll uh-"

"Alright-"

"Um-"

"I'll see ya later, Cas."

"Yea.. I'll uh, see you, Dean."


	20. Chapter 20

Despite having parted with the literal words of _see you later_ passing between them, Dean and Cas have yet to see each other later.

Well, okay, Dean _has_ seen Cas a few times, but he was just too chicken shit to go up and talk to him.

Because he feels like a complete and total jackass for the way he acted. God, he was so embarrassed- no, _is_ embarrassed. Still. Four days later.

It's like if he's not somehow slamming the guy, he's unable to form actual sentences in his presence. Ones that don't make him sound like an idiot or tool.

There was even a moment when he honest to god thought he'd actually _summoned_ Cas by thinking about him so hard. Cause why the hell else would Cas Novak approach him in the middle of the busy hall to talk about the _game?_

It was just so surreal.

He couldn't process it at the time and so he came off like an _idiotic tool_. He suppresses the urge to face palm yet again on behalf of his own stupidity and goes back to the end of chapter questions in his AP Bio book.

.

Cas could think of a billion other things he'd rather do with his hour than sit in an old, musty gymnasium packed over capacity with people he loathed, and listen to their principal try to talk over the noise of the crowd through a shitty loud speaker.

Mandatory pep rallies were the worst, and Cas despised them.

Especially the homecoming ones.

It wasn't just because he'd never actually gone to a school dance or function himself, but because everyone made such a big _deal_ about them. And it was so, _not_ a big deal.

It was moronic and superficial and shit he did not want to go. He wouldn't admit to himself that a large reason as to why this particular assembly seemed like it'd be even more painful than the rest had to do with a certain green eyed wide receiver; one known by the universally shudder-inducing name of Dean.

He slowed his step- resisting against the flow of people flooding in through the gym doors and starts to turn, fully intending on bailing the second he can break free of the current when a sharp _Novak!_ freezes him in place.

"Don't even think about it, kid. In the gym, just like everyone else." Mr. Dayton says, ushering him along.

Cas goes, reluctantly, and suppresses the urge to roll his eyes at the balding middle aged man as he passes.

_Motherf-_

.

Dean tries not to fidget.

But, that's really hard to do because it feels like he's standing on a rock.

He looks down at the crumpled, worn red velvet runner again and scuffs at it with the tip of his shiny dress shoe.

It does nothing.

He glances back up and squints against the harsh lights.

He's sweating, and he knows that his face is showing just how much he doesn't want to be here but you know what? He doesn't fucking care.

Because all these people, the ones smiling and fawning over him right now, are they same assholes who treated him like shit _all_ week because of the game.

Meegan keeps side eyeing him like she's trying to telepathically communicate with him to _smile_ and Jake has even gone so far as to elbow him a couple times.

He still scowls up into the crowd.

And with each face he passes over, the urge to just walk off the floor gets stronger and stronger.

Until-

His eyes lock with the very ones that have been haunting him.

Cas is staring at him. His expression wide and indicating that he had already been looking at Dean, but the regard in which he was obviously doing so is nothing compared to those surrounding him.

It cracks something inside of Dean and his entire body floods with warmth.

He smiles- completely unable to help himself and Cas just blinks, as if he can't believe it's being directed at him.

Then, after a moment, Cas smiles back.

And it's the kind of smile where it's a lot bigger than you're willing to let on, so you do your best to reign it in.. which ends up leaving a majority in the eyes.

Dean has good reason to believe that's why Cas ducks his head.

But Dean's not that far behind in doing so, either.

_Jesus, how old is this runner?!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I can't help but feel as if my writing style itself is changing with the shift from angst to less angst- and would even go so far as to deem it necessary, but in doing so it's making me somewhat overly conscious that it may be changing the overall feel of the story.
> 
> Your thoughts on this would be appreciated and I thank you ahead of time!


	21. Chapter 21

Dean's resolve is about _this_ close to crumbling when he walks by Cas' locker first thing Tuesday morning only to find that he's nowhere to be seen. Again.

It was bad enough yesterday, when Dean had spent all of Sunday night and the entirety of the drive to school telling himself he could do it. He could talk to Cas.

And then Cas never showed.

Dean tries to push the disappointment aside, tries to tell himself it's not because of _him_ that Cas isn't here.

That it has nothing to do with the whole smile thing at the assembly and it's stupid to even think so.

But come lunchtime, when Cas still hasn't made an appearance, it's a lot more difficult to tell himself that.

To believe it.

And by the time the last bell rings, Dean has thoroughly worked himself into a funk.

Shit, what if it _is_ because of him?

What if he creeped Cas out or scared him off?

Or worse yet, what if something is _wrong_?

Dean's nerves are on edge as he makes his way out to the parking lot and climbs into his truck. There's a light mist on his windshield and he flips the wipers before turning onto the street.

He's almost to Cas' house when he starts to second guess whether or not he should even go and is so caught up in his thoughts that he doesn't see the other car in the driveway until he's about to pull in.

Oh.

That's-

His stomach sinks.

What if _that's_ why Cas is ditching? Because he's got someone over.

Dean idles there for a moment, staring at the array of stickers on the hatchback before he reverses and parks on the curb.

 _Resolve_.

Might as well get it over with, right?

Quick like a bandaid and all that.

The stairs creak as he walks up them and he pauses in front of the door, hand lifted to it like maybe it'll open without him having to knock if he just stands here.

No such luck, obviously, so he quickly raps three times and waits, stock still; listening for any sort of movement on the other side.

But there's no sound besides that of the now soft rain pattering in the cemetery to his right.

Alright, then.

Deep breath.

He taps three more times and holds it.

And..

Nothing.

His mind starts to paint all sorts of unwanted pictures so he takes that as his cue to leave, already turning to do so when the lock clicks and the door opens.

A girls' face appears in the crack and his chest tightens.

 _Fuck_.

"Can I help you?" She asks.

"Um.." he clears his throat, "is Cas home?"

She squints, then pulls the door back a little more, stepping into the threshold and that's when Dean recognizes her.

It's Cas' cousin.

He deflates, having totally forgotten she was supposed to be back.

And she's blonde now, too, so there's that.

"Yea." She says, still squinting up at him.

"Uh, can I talk to him?"

"He's-"

"Who the fuck is here?" A nasally grumble comes from inside the house, cutting her off mid-sentence, and Dean peeks around her as she turns to answer.

"It's for you." She says, a smirk pulling at the corner of her mouth.

Cas is standing there on the stairs; his face pale and pinched in a frown, wearing a holy t-shirt and sweatpants, with his hair matted to the side of his head.

He looks like shit.

And his frown deepens, more into one of confusion. "Huh?"

It's then that he actually focuses on who's standing on the front porch, and his eyes go wide. "Dean."

Dean huffs. "Uh.. hey."

"What are you doing here?" Cas asks, wrapping an arm around himself as he descends the rest of the stairs.

He looks so adorable Dean just wants to pull him into a big hug or something. Maybe make him soup.

_What the fuck?_

"You weren't at school," he says instead. "So, I just thought I'd.."

"Oh." Cas says quietly, muted shock evident in his expression. And now that he's closer, Dean can see the sleep marks lining his cheek.

Dean smiles.

"Yea. I can see why now, though."

He cringes as soon as he says it- _why the fuck must you do that?_ and is about to back peddle when Cas just huffs.

And it's with amusement, not irritation.

"Are you going to tell me I look like shit again?"

Dean blinks, because the tiny smile tugging at Cas' lips is wholly out of place with the rest of his appearance.

Dean opens his mouth to respond when Cas' cousin clears her throat and jesus _fuck_ he had almost forgotten she was standing there.

"I don't mean to interrupt, but, I gotta get going."

Cas seems to have nearly forgotten too, because he looks over at her sort of dazed and nods.

She wraps her arms around him and squeezes, pressing a soft kiss to his temple before bending to retrieve the bags at her feet.

 _Oh_.

"It was nice meeting you, Dean." She says somewhat pointedly as she passes, but the grin on her face suggests she knows very well who he is.

"Oh, shit. Yea-" Cas says, shaking his head. "Dean, this is my cousin Elise."

Dean huffs, feeling a bit of whiplash. "Uh, hi. And.." she's already down by the green Xterra. ".. bye."

She smiles wider and waves. "I'll call when I get to Maine. Love you!"

"Love you, too." Cas says from the doorway, throwing a bashful wave of his own.

 _Christ, he is so cute_.

They watch her pull out of the driveway, and then the silence settles around them.

Dean shifts, and Cas looks at the chipped paint beneath his bare feet.

"So.." Dean says, aiming to break the awkwardness before it can become a threat. "Sorry for waking you up, or whatever."

"Oh, no, it's cool." Cas says, glancing up from under his lashes before going back to the paint he's scuffing with his toe. "I was actually trying to convince myself to come down for a while now anyway, so you sorta just sped it along."

A smile pulls at the words as they leave his mouth and Dean thinks it's a good sound on him. Congestion and all.

"Well, glad I could help, then." And, oh god, this is getting awkward anyway.

"Yea." Cas huffs, scratching behind his ear.

Silence.

"So I'll just-" Dean motions over his shoulder with his thumb, ignoring the heat tinging his cheeks.

Cas looks up again and nods, a bit of color in his own. "Okay. And thanks, you know.. for stopping by."

"Yea, sure.. I mean, it's not a big deal."

 _So totally was a big deal_.

Cas smiles, ducking his head.

"Kay, well. Feel better."

"Thanks, Dean."

"I'll uh, see you at school, then."

"Yea, see you at school."


	22. Chapter 22

Cas closes the door after Dean leaves and immediately collapses against it.

Did that really just happen?

He pinches his arm, and hisses when it stings.

Yes, that actually just happened.

_What the fuck._

.

Dean doesn't realize he's smiling until he walks in the living room and his dad looks at him funny.

"Are you high?" he asks, pausing.

Dean balks. "What? No. Why?"

"You're all.. twinkly looking."

"Oh." Dean schools his expression. "No. I'm not high, dad."

"Okay," John says, and goes back to vacuuming.

.

Cas has probably never been more mortified than in this very moment, as he stands staring at his reflection in the smudged bathroom mirror.

_Dean seen me like this_.

He was well aware of the fact that he must not have looked too great what with the fever and not showering for three days, but this is a whole other level of gross.

Even for him.

_Oh my god._

He strips down right there and jumps in the shower faster than the water can even begin to turn warm.

_I cannot believe he seen me like that_.

.

Over dinner, Dean's mom reminds him that he has to watch Sammy this weekend.

Which in all honesty, is fine by him because that means his friends aren't going to want to hang around the house and he won't be able to leave.

There's no game, so it's perfect, and just the break he needs.

He's smiling when he asks her to pass the salad.

.

It'd be great if Cas could stop thinking about Dean now.

It's been hours; literal long, multiple _hours_ , yet he still can't get that stupid smile out of his head.

Why did Dean have to look at him that way? God, and the fact he had done so when Cas looked like _that_.

There were pillow marks on his face for Pete's sake!

He rolls over and pulls the blanket up tighter around himself.

_At least you guys had your first, actual, somewhat civil- albeit awkward, conversation._

His stomach flutters again and he fights a smile, which is sort of dumb considering no one is here to see it anyway.

That doesn't stop him from doing it though, and he falls asleep wondering when they'll have their _next_ conversation.

.

Dean's convinced this is becoming a routine: him going to sleep thinking about Cas, and then waking up thinking about Cas.

It's a strange mixture of thoughts, too.

Like, obviously he's interested in the possibility of more, but for right now, he just wants to _know_ Cas.

Wants to be friends.

So when he gets to school, and Cas isn't there, the disappointment he was feeling yesterday is now entirely replaced with a certain.. chivalry, if you would.

One which may or may not have him stopping by all of Cas' classes throughout the day to pick up his missed work. (There's a lot of it.)

And he may or may not have remembered the name of that store from Cas' grocery bags, then decided last minute to make a detour before dropping off Cas' lessons.

(Totally did.)


	23. Chapter 23

It's silly, really, that Cas let himself think for even a moment there could be a possibility that Dean may stop by again today.

Because why _would_ he?

He already knows Cas is sick. And why he's not in school.

But that doesn't stop his mind from mulling over the thought anyway, and it doesn't stop him from taking another shower, then putting on fresh pajamas either.

Just in case.

 _Shut up_.

Now he's laying on the couch, watching Netflix, and definitely not glancing at the clock every two seconds.

He's not.

 _Swear_.

Okay, fuck. Yes he is.

Ugh.

Why is he so worked up over this? It's _stupid_. Dean said he'd see him at school.

And Cas isn't at school, so why would he expect to see Dean.

He'll just see him tomorrow. Or whatever. It's not a big deal.

_Liar._

As it gets closer to 3 o'clock though, it's a little easier to tell himself that Dean is not going to show. But it also just makes the anxiousness of _he might_ slowly morph into a strange sort of.. dispirited heaviness.

He doesn't like it.

At all.

And he doesn't like that he feels like this at the mere conclusion that he's going to have to wait another however many hours to see Dean.

Cause seriously, what the hell is that about?

They've talked like, _four_ times in the last month. And only two of those were semi-pleasant.

How could he get so hung up on a guy he barely even knows? I mean, yea.. everyone 'knows' Dean, but Cas has a feeling that not a lot of people actually.. _know_ him.

Maybe that's why he's so hung up.

Because he's seen little flickers here and there and wants to know what the rest is like. What's right beneath the surface.

What made Dean stand up to Brendan, then help him when he fell? What made Dean call out to him in the hall, and why did he lose the game?

Why, did he look so.. tortured and _closed-off_ at the pep rally?

Why did he smile the way he had, when he caught Cas staring at him instead of scowling even further?

Cas wanted to know these things.

He just wanted to-

A knock at the door startles him and he jumps, knocking the remote to the floor with a loud clatter- causing his blood pressure to skyrocket.

 _Holy fuck_ he thinks, clutching at his chest.

What the-

He scrambles off the couch and runs over to the front window, tripping on the throw pillow he'd just brought with him and pulls the curtain back in the most non-discreet way ever.

His heart stops.

Then lodges into his throat.

Dean's truck is in the driveway.

And the muscles in his cheeks strain with the smile that stretches them.

_Oh my god._

There's another knock and he sucks in a deep breath, trying to calm his racing nerves, then makes his way to the door.

He doesn't remember actually reaching for the knob, or even pulling the thing open, but Dean is suddenly standing in front of him, a small smile etched in the corners of his mouth.

"Hi," he says.

"Hi," Cas replies, blood rushing in his ears.

"Um, so.. I brought the work you missed," Dean says, holding up a thick folder.

Cas' stomach swoops and he blinks.

_What?_

"And Jones' said it's cool if you just use my notes.. instead of trying to read the whole section today, so I made copies," Dean finishes.

Cas stares, mouth parted in awe.

"How did you-"

Dean flushes. "Oh. Uh, Mrs. Millie, in the office.. she kinda has a sweet spot for me so I-"

Cas grins then, positive it's overtaking his entire face but he doesn't fucking care. That is so-

"What?" Dean says, fighting one of his own. "I told her you were sick and have already missed a lot of days. Which by the way, she sends her love."

Cas pictures the stocky, elderly little woman printing out his schedule with Dean and warmth floods inside of him, sending sparks of soothing electricity out through his veins. "Thank you," he says, full of nothing but sincerity.

No one's ever-

"Hey, it's ah.. no problem." Dean says, raising a hand to no doubt rub at the back of his neck when he aborts the movement and huffs. "Oh yea, I also stopped and got you some soup."

His face turns even redder and he holds up his hand again, revealing a paper grocery bag from the health food store Cas shopped at before.

Cas' heart flips.

_Are you fucking-_

"I didn't know if you were vegetarian or whatever, so I just got this black bean stuff. If anything it'll maybe help clear out-" Dean motions towards Cas' face and Christ, if Cas smiles any bigger it's probably going to fall right off.

"I am, actually.. so, thank you. You didn't have to do that."

"'s not a big deal." Dean says, ducking his head, and Cas realizes they're still standing on the porch, but he would much rather be inside.

"Do you maybe wanna-" he says, stepping back and waving towards the open door, a gesture he hopes speaks for itself.

It does. "Oh, uh, yea." Dean says, glancing up to nod. "I mean, if you're not busy or anything."

Cas scoffs. "Unless you consider marathoning Parks and Rec busy, then, no. I'm not."

Dean beams. Actually _beams_. "Dude. _Yes_. Andy is like, the greatest character ever created."

Cas grins even _wider_ , impossibly, and as Dean walks past him, and he closes the door behind with a soft click, he can't help but feel as if this may be the start of something really good.

Something he's never had.

And something very much worth holding on to.


	24. Chapter 24

Entirely in his element: that's how Dean would describe hanging out with Cas.

It's a little awkward, sure, but at the same time it's so.. _chill_.

Like, there's no need to posture or uphold the persona that literally everyone else in his life has painted him in and it's just, fuck. It's amazing.

He's only been here for an hour, but already feels more at ease than he has in the entire time he's spent with his other friends.

 _Other_ friends.

This means he can consider Cas a friend now, right?

It should.

I mean, they _are_ hanging out in Cas' living room.

 _He's on Cas Novak's couch_.

He smiles to himself, finding humor in that because it's something he never in a million years would have imagined he'd be able to say.

Cas snorts beside him and he glances over, stomach immediately fluttering in the way it has been since he sat down, and he smiles wider.

It's so weird seeing Cas like this.

His feet are tucked under him, there's a bowl in his lap and he's got cracker crumbs all over his shirt and sweatpants. His hair is soft and curled in every direction and the relaxed posture of his shoulders is so foreign compared to what Dean is used to.

He looks so content.

It makes something swell inside of Dean and he forces himself to look back at the tv. To not think about how Cas seems to have dropped a large part of his guard.

Dean's eyes still wander though, but I mean _who could blame him_.

He's in Cas' house.

The creepy house next to the creepy cemetery which really isn't all that creepy after all.

It's just old. And the inside is dated, yea, but it's nice.

You can tell it's lived in and loved, and it's honestly not at all what Dean was expecting it to look like.

The electronics are all newer; there's a wide, flat screen LED tv sitting on top of a large oak stand, which is also housing two game consoles, and a bunch of dvds and games.

Dean had recognized a few titles he has in his own collection and gave a silent nod of approval.

 _Good taste_.

There are candles, worldly knick-knacks and frames filled with scenic pictures lining the shelves of the built-in unit, and the wall beside it is a soft, creamy mustard yellow- only broken up by the pale gray of the brick fireplace.

The curtains are a deep, heavy green and the couch in which they are sitting on is brown, worn, and probably secondhand, but it's comfy and smells like fresh water with a hint of spring flowers.

It's so fucking _soothing_ and comfortable, Dean just wants to settle into it even further.

He also wants to see the rest of the house, as the last time he was here he wasn't really paying attention to much on his trip down the hall and only got to the bathroom then, anyway.

Heat floods his face at the memory and thankfully, a jostle beside him pulls him out of it.

Cas leans forward to place his bowl on the coffee table and reaches for his cup, resulting in the hem of his shirt to ride up and expose a smooth, dimpled back above the black elastic band of boxer briefs.

Dean bites his lip and tears his eyes away.

 _Holy fuck_.

His heart starts pounding so hard he almost doesn't hear when Cas asks, "Do you want some more soda?"

"Uh, no, I'm good. Thanks."

Cas nods and unfolds his legs to heave himself up from the couch.

It shouldn't be so hot watching someone walk away, but goddammit, it is.

 _Cool it_.

Right. Yes.

 _This is the first time you've hung out. You need to reel it in_.

He lets out a steady breath and pops another chip in his mouth. _Friendship first_.

Cas comes back with a full glass of Sprite and smiles when Dean looks up at him. He doesn't say anything as he sits down, and neither does Dean, but somehow, they don't really need to.

Because the room is already brimming with a calm, compatible sort of energy, and too many words would probably only serve to disrupt that.

The end credits begin to roll across the screen, and Cas glances over before hitting _play next episode_ as if in silent question. Dean nods in answer with a soft shrug, and Cas huffs, then presses the button, and tosses the remote between them before situating himself into the cushions.

Dean smiles, _again_ , cause yea.. he could totally get used to this.


	25. Chapter 25

After Dean leaves, Cas gathers his missed work as well as his text books from the dining room table, and carries himself up the stairs feeling lighter than he quite possibly has in his entire life.

He just spent the better part of three hours watching tv with Dean, and it was so.. just, _nice_?

Like, he's not sure what he was expecting Dean to be like without the shroud of his ever-present status and surroundings, but what he witnessed was nowhere near it.

And it only served to better fortify his suspicion that not many people get to actually _see_ Dean. Because that? Who he was just hanging out with? Was not the Dean that roams the halls of WHS and annihilates on the football/baseball fields.

_That_ was a Dean who made a low, thrumming warmth pool in Cas' stomach and made him want to nuzzle up under Dean's arm, and just-

_Oh, for fucks sake._

Not again.

_You need to get a grip, you've hung out once_.

One. Time.

Build a friendship, _then_ start giving in to daydreams.

Right.

Yes.

_Of course_.

Cas shakes himself and throws the contents of his arms onto his bed, then flips the light switch.

He sighs.

It's gonna be a long night.

.

Dean turns his phone over in his hand. Then again, and again.. and, again.

Then he drops it to the mattress and groans.

_You can't text him yet_.

_You_ just _left_.

It's weird.

_He didn't give you his number just so you could be one of_ those _people_.

Fuck. He's got Cas' number.

He picks his phone up again and stares at the screen.

Cas' name right there at the top of a fresh new message thread.

_Don't do it_.

"Motherfucker," Dean mutters and drops it back to the bed.

.

You know, Cas is actually pretty impressed with himself for managing to go almost a full hour before digging his phone out of his pocket and opening the contacts.

He stares at the four letters at the top of the screen, his thumb hovering over _send message_ and tries to gather the nerve to just do it. _Just text him_.

It literally wouldn't even be that big of a deal, either. A simple 'thanks again for today' would bridge the gap and secure an instant line of communication between the two of them.

But Cas is a fucking chicken shit and lets the possibility that Dean may not respond, or could even be second guessing their whole, budding friendship or whatever, seal his resolution that he is _definitely_ not texting first.

No way.

He's already so far out of his realm that he doesn't think he could handle getting swayed now, in any capacity.

He'll just wait for Dean to extend that hand, and until then, he won't worry about it.

He puts his phone back in his pocket and returns to the copied notes scribbled in Dean's small, neat writing.

Then the same recurring smile yanks at the corners of his mouth again and he bites his lip as a fresh wave of butterflies hit him.

_He did all that for you_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say thank you for all your awesome feedback on the last few chapters. Writing the fluffy parts is def one of my favorite things, so hearing your positive reactions to it just makes it go all that much more smoothly. It's very appreciated, and I thank you very much so!


	26. Chapter 26

Cas had managed to somehow miraculously, though not surprisingly, work himself into an anxious ball of doubt before he even left the damn house.

Because, regardless of the events that took place yesterday, his brain is the biggest asshole he knows and had to go do that _thing_ where it reminds him that he is an insignificant no one.

That he is the lowest of the low and there is no possible way, on any level, that Dean would openly pursue a friendship with him.

Because Dean is as significant as they come.

As high on the food chain as one could ever hope to get.

So why, in his right mind, would he stoop to Cas' social pool?

He wouldn't.

Right?

No, he-

Cas stops abruptly.

And stares at the hoodie'd back leaning against the locker beside his.

 _It's Dean_.

Waiting.

For.. him.

He continues walking, on legs he can't quite feel, and through a parted sea of curious, watchful eyes.

"Hi," he says when he gets close enough to be heard.

Dean looks up from his phone, face breaking out into a lax grin. "Hey."

And before Cas can even formulate a response, Dean holds up a colorful zip-lock bag full of chocolate chip cookies. "Brought these for you. You like cookies, right?"

Cas nods, completely taken off guard.

_What the hell?_

"My mom made a bunch for Sammy's bake sale last night, so I hoarded some."

Dean ends on a quiet laugh that pulls at his still sleep soft face in all the right ways and Cas feels himself slipping.

 _Oh fuck_.

He smiles, insides a jumbled mess. "Thank you."

Dean shrugs, like he didn't just do the third nicest thing anyone has ever done for Cas. The first and second being the day of the fall and yesterday. "It's no big."

 _But it is_.

"And thanks for your notes, too. I wouldn't have caught up without them, so.. I appreciate it. A lot."

Dean flushes a bit and Cas smiles wider. "It's cool. I ah.. I had a good time, by the way. Yesterday."

 _Cas_ flushes and he nods. "So did I."

"We should do it again sometime."

"Yea. For sure."

 _Cue internal screaming_.

Dean opens his mouth to say something else, but the first bell interrupts him and they both pause, then huff, then break out into matching smiles, and shuffle awkwardly around each other.

"So I'll see you later?" Dean asks, the hopefulness in it serving like a punch straight to Cas' gut.

"Yea," he breathes. "Of course."

.

Dean was well aware of the billions of prying eyes to he and Cas' little exchange, and you know what? He could seriously give zero fucks less.

Let them talk.

Because it didn't matter.

 _They_ didn't matter.

For the first time in his _entire_ life, he felt like he could finally breathe. And he'd be damned if he let anyone get in the way of that.

.

Well, to say Cas wasn't expecting _some_ sort of repercussion from engaging with Dean in such a public manner would be nothing short of a lie.

He knew that people would talk. That they'd run with it. Just like they did when they all thought Dean was the one who gave him a black eye.

But, the one thing he wasn't expecting, was _this._

He was tempted to check if there was toilet paper hanging off the back of his shoe or if he'd grown a giant, sparkly, unicorn horn.

Because people were staring.

Like, flat out _staring_.

It was unnerving.

And weird.

Even for him.

He was used to being the center of attention in a not-at-all pleasant way and this was just-

Yea, it was fucking intense. So he slipped into the east stairwell as soon as class let out and was thankful for the bag of cookies in his backpack, cause he sure as shit wasn't going to subject himself to the cafeteria right now.

No freaking way.


	27. Chapter 27

Dean was prepared for the onslaught of questions once he sat down at lunch, but they just, didn't come.

They're ten minutes into break, and no one has said a single thing to him regarding Cas, even though the rest of the school can't seem to shut up about it. Which in itself is kinda dumb, seeing as how they barely even talked.

And actually, now that he thinks about it, no one has said a single thing to him.. period.

He glances around the table, and it's as normal as it ever is, but instead of the conversation going on around him, it's going on, _around_ him.

Like he's in a glass bubble and is physically excluded from participating.

His heart starts to pound and his cheeks tingle as heat rushes to them.

Are they.. ignoring him?

.. what the fuck.

He stares at the side of Brendan's head, who's sitting straight across from him, and watches as he looks literally everywhere else, other than directly at him.

 _What the fuck_.

I mean, yea.. it's no secret he isn't exactly keen on his friends, but still.

This stings.

The silence that envelops him as he finishes his sandwich is nearly deafening. And he can't help but think to himself, _five down_.

.

Cas felt bad for leaving immediately after last bell, but he couldn't take it anymore.

It's like everyone wanted to know what the hell was going on, without actually having to _ask_ him what that hell was going on.

And it was really starting to grind at his nerves.

Because he didn't know.

I mean, he isn't stupid enough to deny that he and Dean friends now, but the capacity of which is still uncertain to him.

Dean didn't seem at all fazed this morning about having an audience, or so blatantly waiting around for him and giving him fucking baked goods for breakfast, but who knows after all the gossip throughout the day.

Oh god, he can only imagine how much Dean got grilled. Seeing as how he knows first hand how Brendan can be when it comes to Dean helping him.

Great. Now he feels even _worse_ for leaving without talking to Dean first.

.

Dean shouldn't really be surprised that Cas booked as soon as school was over.

He couldn't blame him either, cause who'd wanna be under that scrutiny?

Dean sure as hell didn't.

It's sort of funny though, because no one actually came out and _asked_ him what's up between he and Cas.

Which is a shame, too, seeing as how he had his answer poised and ready at the tip of his tongue:

_We're friends._

_So, suck it._

No, not really that last part but he wishes he had the balls to outright say it to anyone and everyone.

Huffing to himself, he ponders if he should text Cas- just to see if everything's cool.

To make sure nothing happened on his end.

Dean pauses, hand poised on his gym bag.

What if that's why Cas left so quickly?

 _Oh, fuck_.

.

Cas' phone feels like a lead brick in his pocket and he's battling with himself whether this would be a good time to initiate contact with Dean or not.

 _You could compliment his mom's cookies, and it wouldn't even be a lie or play_.  _Simple yet effective._

He rolls his eyes, because yea.. let's just ignorantly breeze over the fact that the _entire student body_ seems to be on the edge of their seats from a conversation that lasted less than five minutes.

 _Okay_.

But that itself is way too deep to spark up a thread with, and the frustrating possibility that Dean could have very well thrown up his hands with the whole thing by now still lingers in the back of Cas' mind.

 _You should have just stayed and talked to him_.

Fuck.

 _I know_.


	28. Chapter 28

Alright, so, yea.. maybe Dean should have thought this through before running out on practice and showing up on Cas' doorstep, _again_. But apparently there's something about Cas that makes his normal rash behavior just fly right out the fucking window.

Because here he is, in his beat-up sneakers and ratty gym clothes, frantically knocking on Cas' front door, as if he couldn't just have texted or _called_ , and is instead acting as if Cas had been pillaged in the town square.

_You are so ridiculous._

The lock clicks and Cas appears in the crack. "Dean?"

Dean exhales, relaxing when Cas' face is clear, save for the tiny hint of a scar through his eyebrow. "You're okay."

Confusion falls over Cas' expression and he opens the door a bit more. "Uh.. yea?"

 _Oh my god get it together_.

"Right. I just.." he goes to put his hands in his pockets and flushes when there are no pockets for them to go in. "I mean, I didn't see you after school and I just thought-"

Cas nods, a small smile pulling at his mouth. "That I got the shit beat out of me for fraternizing with the Golden Boy in such an obvious manner?"

Dean laughs, a sound that all but rips out of him. "I don't know if I'd choose those exact words, but essentially, yea."

"Ah, well.. no. I didn't." Cas says, leaning against the door frame, then crosses his arms and ducks his head. "I will admit that I'm kind of exhausted mentally, though," he huffs. "I don't think I've ever had that many people stare at me in such a short span of time before."

Dean nods. "Yea, uh.. I know what you mean. Shit was intense."

Cas looks up then and Dean suddenly has the urge to close the distance between them. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Dean asks.

Cas smiles, but it's sad and it pulls at something inside of Dean. "I'm not sure if you noticed- _note heavy sarcasm_ , but I'm not really beneficial to having around, like.. at all."

Dean blinks.

_What?_

How could he-

"I mean, I'm not trying to be all melodramatic or anything, but it's true. Today only served to prove that."

Fuck that.

Honestly, _fuck that_.

Dean's resolve hardens, becoming crystal clear and he straightens his shoulders.

"Well, I hate to break it to you, man.. but uh, I think you're pretty cool. And- shut up I'm being serious," he laughs when Cas rolls his eyes. But there's a light blush on the highs of Cas' cheeks, so he continues, "what I'm trying to say is I don't care if people talk or what they say, I just wanna get to know you."

Cas huffs out in laughter this time and Dean flushes. "Okay, fuck.. that sounded really cheesy-"

"I feel like we're in a Hallmark movie."

"Oh my god, fuck off. You know what I'm trying-"

"I know, Dean. And I, uh.. you know, same.." Cas rubs the back of his neck and Dean takes pride in the color staining his entire face now.

"Yea?"

Cas rolls his eyes again and pushes away from the door jam. "Well, I mean.. obviously."

"Awesome."

Cas shakes his head, like he's trying to dispense how flustered he's just become and motions inside. "So, do you wanna.." he stops then to make a pointed sweep of Dean's clothes, "or, do you have to go back?"

Dean looks down at himself. "Um," he shrugs, then, "fuck it. They won't miss me."

Cas smiles wide, and turns away, letting Dean close the door behind them- all the while his entire body buzzing with the anticipation of _what happens next_.


	29. Chapter 29

Cas has yet to process the fact that he hung out with Dean two days in a row.

And that Dean blew off football practice to lounge around on his couch watching crap tv with him.

But it definitely happened, and while he wasn't at all surprised to see Dean leaning on his locker again yesterday morning, it still managed to light up every single nerve ending in his body like the fourth of fucking July.

Which was both exciting, and terrifying, because well.. Cas has only ever had _one_ sexual encounter before.

Yea, yea, I know.. huge shock, gasps all around.

Ha ha, hilarious.

And it wasn't even the big shebang, either.

Don't laugh though, even though I know you're thinking, _oh my goodness but how?_ because there was absolutely nothing funny about what happened.

He hasn't really gotten over how naive he was then, or how easily he was persuaded. And he prefers not to think about it, at all.. but with the emotions that being around Dean, and Dean _himself_ stir within him, it's just really hard _not_ to think about it.

Because it always comes back so vividly clear, like it just happened yesterday, instead of last year, and it never fails to make the self loathe pour over him in steady, suffocating waves.

He recalls the open _genuineness_ of Asher's face when he approached Cas in detention and asked if he wanted to duck behind the school to get high.

He remembers the way he'd gone all too willingly and didn't put up any stops after the joint was gone and Asher kissed him, _hard_ , and forcefully, and not at all how he'd envisioned or wanted his first kiss to be.

Not that he's a total sap or anything, but.. c'mon.

Of course it wasn't until his mouth was around Asher's dick, that Asher freaked, and Cas just narrowly missed getting punched in the side of the head.

He was fortunate enough to get away without much more than a vicious _faggot_ for his troubles, and while Asher thankfully transferred shortly after the incident, he still hasn't really found it in himself to forgive the guy for using such a disgusting slur.

 _And it's not even true_.

Cas doesn't give a shit what's between someones legs, or what they identify as, because he always has been, and always will be, open to finding love/comfort in _anyone_.

So you can see why these feelings he's feeling from so little interaction with Dean is _fucking terrifying_.

Because this is so new to him. On every level.

In every way.

And his biggest fear is probably the inevitability of him fucking it up.

He'll be the first to admit that he's not sure how he'd farce if that were to happen, and wow, would you look at that, he's just gone and dug himself into a massive, super freaking depressive rut.

Wonderful.

.

"Dean!" Sammy yells from downstairs.

"What?!" Dean shouts back from his room.

"Will you bring my fuzzy blanket down with you??"

Dean huffs, shaking his head. "Yea!"

"Thank you!"

"Don't mention it!"

He turns to grab his own comforter and then pops in Sammy's room to take one of the many blankets piled on top of his bed before shuffling blindly down the stairs.

They're about to get their world of Wizardry on marathon style and when Dean gets to the living room, he can't help but smile.

Sam's got the whole place set up and ready to go with a stack of dvds on the floor and just about every piece of junk food in the house stuffed on the giant ottoman in front of the couch.

It's raining, and really fucking dark given the time of day, so it's literally the perfect setting to indulge.

Dean jumps on the couch and snuggles up under his blanket.

"You ready?" Sammy asks, eyes alight in a way that's comical for someone who's seen all the movies and read all the books more times than he can probably count.

"Uh, yea." Dean says, snaking an arm out to pull a few twizzlers from the bag.

"Well, then.. go on, 'Arry, press play."

Dean scoffs but hits the button, mood as light as it's been in a while and he just- he _really_ wishes the other reason for that was right here beside him, snuggled and warm on the couch, instead of most likely sitting at home by himself.


	30. Chapter 30

Cas' phone vibrates and he feels around for it in the dark.

He never bothered to turn any lights on, and has been laying in bed all day, but he's in a funk.

And he can't seem to get out of it.

The rain isn't helping either.

Not a bit.

He swipes his thumb over the screen and squints at the harsh brightness. " _Jesus,_ " he mutters.

Then, he squints for another reason; the name staring back at him causing a teeny, tiny smile to curl at his lips.

_[Received-Dean]_

_which hogwarts house are u in?_

A quiet, giddy laugh bubbles up from inside of him because _really_?

 _That_ is what their first text is?

_Harry Potter?!_

Oh my god.

_[Delivered}_

_hufflepuff. why?_

The next message comes in almost immediately.

_[Received]_

_really? wow i wouldve guessed slytherin_

Cas rolls his eyes, pushing his comforter off so he can sit up. He flicks the lamp on.

_[Delivered]_

_well what are u then? gryffindor?_

_[Received]_

_actually, yea_

He laughs, outright _laughs_ \- what the fuck?!

_[Delivered]_

_not that im complaining, but.. what brought on the hp inquires?_

_[Received]_

_oh, uh.. marathon with my lil bro. i got babysitting duty this weekend_

Cas nods. To who? Who knows.

_[Delivered]_

_i see. well.. have fun with that i guess_

As soon as he hits send, he cringes.

Because that sounded like a dismissal.

A rude one at that. And the last thing he wants to do is stop talking to Dean right now.

Thankfully, Dean didn't see it as such.

_[Received]_

_yea its not so bad. hes a pretty cool kid. total nerd, not that thats a bad thing or whatever but hes just, really into like science and fantasy. ya know_

Cas is grinning now, this warm, gooey feeling pushing at his ribs and he wishes he could bottle it up, to set on a shelf and save for a later day.

 _Holy shit_.

.

"Who are you talking to?" Sammy asks from the other side of the couch.

Dean starts, dropping his phone on his face. "Oh, uh.. my friend."

He peeks over his mound of blanket to see Sam's just barely visible over his, he quirks a brow. "Which one?"

Dean flushes, thankful that it's too dark for Sammy to see. "You don't know him."

"Oh?" Sammy asks, scooting up a bit so he can look at Dean full on. "What's his name?"

"Cas." Dean says, doing the same.

The light from the tv reflects off Sam's glasses, and casts oblong shadows beside him on the wall. "Why don't you invite him over?"

 _Oh_.

Well..

"We just started hanging out." Dean says by way of explanation with a shrug. Also, is it getting hot in here?

"So." Sam says, like he doesn't understand what that has to do with anything.

"I thought you didn't like it when my friends come over."

Why he's even combating this, he's not sure.. cause he really _does_ want Cas to come over.

A lot.

It's just.. is that too forward?

I mean, he did show up unannounced _three_ times to Cas' house this week, and the last thing he wants to do is come off as pushy.

He cannot screw this up.

"No. Your friends are the one's that don't like coming over when you have to 'watch' me. I don't have a problem with it."

And just like that, Dean feels like a total asshole.

How could he subject his innocent, sweet little brother to the vileness that is his friends?

 _Was_ his friends?

"Besides," Sammy continues. "If I don't know Cas, maybe he wouldn't mind hanging out around me. Right?"

Dean's heart swells, and he's tempted to leap across the couch and pull Sam into the biggest bear hug in existence.

"You really don't mind?" Dean asks, just to be certain.

"No."

"You're pretty great, Sammy, you know that?"

Sammy smiles, that super hammy grin of his. "I had my suspicions, but it's always nice to have them validated."

"Oh, shut the fuck up." Dean laughs, chucking a throw pillow in which Sammy diverts, and ends up knocking a bunch of shit off the ottoman.

"Hey! That's no way to treat your great little brother!!"

Dean shakes his head, smile stretching his face so wide he doesn't think he'd be able to form a sentence even if he tried.

He unlocks his phone instead, and reads Cas' text.

_[Received-Cas]_

_i do actually, as im quite the fantasy nerd myself ; )_

Warmth washes over him at the dumb winky smiley and he can't type out a response fast enough.

_[Delivered]_

_so u wouldnt wanna maybe come over and join in the magical fun then, would u?_

He watches the screen, waiting for the ellipses to pop up as his heart pounds so mercilessly in his ears, he can barely hear the roaring score of the movie blaring through the surround speakers.

_Fuck, what if that was too much?_

What if Cas isn't really into hanging out all the time. I mean, yea, the dude is always by himself, but still.

Dean shouldn't be so clingy.

He should give Cas space.

One minute passes, then two, and he's just about to close the thread and go back to the movie when his phone vibrates and butterflies swarm his abdomen.

_[Received]_

_im always down for magic fun. whats ur address?_


	31. Chapter 31

There was a moment when Cas seriously regretted sending the smile emoticon, because Dean didn't answer right away. Not like he had been, at least.

So Cas had set his phone aside and stared at the worn gray comforter in his lap, trying to think of a way he could salvage the conversation, when the mattress vibrated under his knee.

Then, it was a full blown adrenaline rush; Dean asked him to come over.

And that adrenaline is still coursing wildly through him as he maneuvers through the more upscale neighborhoods in town.

Even though his GPS didn't disclose said information, Cas should have guessed that Dean would live in one of those fancy suburban housing developments; the ones full of cul de sacs, manicured lawns, tall, sweeping stone fronts and big, intimidating windows revealing an array of chandeliers and looming fireplaces.

He peeks down at the address again, as if he hasn't already memorized it, and hangs a left on _Honeysuckle Dr-_ the name of which is etched in white on a wooden post of the same, with arrow'd slats indicating which street is which.

Cas almost wants to scoff, but refrains. He may come from the literal opposite side of the tracks, but that doesn't mean he should knock the fortunes of others.

It's hard not to feel out of place though. As the driveways are filled with shiny, brand new SUV's and minivans- and here he is, creeping down the block in his beat-up junker.

He passes 2233 and doesn't have to see the number of the next to know it's 2235, as the black Tahoe parked in front of a three stall garage indicates it's the Winchester residence.

The garage is attached to what is probably the nicest house Cas has ever seen and he gapes, pulling in alongside the truck.

There's a second when he just has to sit there, to gather his nerve, before flipping his hood on and getting out to run up the smooth, slightly curved walk.

The door opens before he can even lift a hand to knock and then he's face to face with Dean, who is smiling at him like he couldn't be happier to see him.

His stomach swoops.

"Hi," Dean says, his hair soft and sans product. He's wearing a light t-shirt with a big recycle logo on it and gray drawstring sweatpants.

It shouldn't wind Cas the way it does, but, fuck.. it _does_.

_He's so-_

"Hey," Cas manages, insides a chaotic mess.

If you asked him last weekend if he thought there was a chance this is where he'd be right now, he probably would have laughed in your face in lieu of answer.

Because last weekend, Dean was out winning the homecoming game and standing on the homecoming court watching Brendan get crowned, while Cas was sitting at home, reading a book alone in his room.

Dean steps back, allowing Cas in and takes Cas' jacket once he shakes it off. Cas steps out of his shoes, as it's the polite thing to do, and follows Dean through the massive foyer and into what is undoubtedly the living room.

It's vast but cozy, neutral in color, and there is a gigantic sectional sofa spanning a majority of the room- which is heaped with pillows and blankets. In the center is an ottoman that probably functions more as a coffee table, and it's littered with open chip bags as well as multiple brightly colored candy wrappers.

And, peeking out over all of it, is a small, spiky head laden with glasses.

"You're Cas?" a muffled, pubescent voice asks and Cas smiles, nodding.

"Yea. You Sammy?"

Sam nods, and Cas smiles wider. Then he feels the warm solidity of Dean standing beside him. He looks over, and his breath catches. "We were just talking about getting pizza, any special requests?"

They're so close, Cas has the urge to just.. lean a bit to the right and-

"Um," he clears his throat. "Olives and pineapples. Please."

Dean's mouth quirks and he nods. "You got it. Breadsticks, Sammy?"

Sam rolls his eyes. "Duh."

Dean huffs and leaves the room to place the call, leaving Cas standing awkwardly near the threshold.

He can feel Sam's eyes on him and tries not to let it affect him, but, the kid is staring.

"Did that hurt?" Sam says and Cas looks over.

"What?"

"Your nose. Did that hurt?"

 _Oh_.

"Oh.. um, no. Not really."

"I want to get my ears pierced, but I'm scared people will make fun of me," Sammy says, glancing back to the tv and Cas' stomach sinks.

 _Fuck_.

That is-

He crosses the room before he realizes he's doing it and Sammy scoots over, pulling the blanket out of the way so he can sit down.

"Well, uh.. you know, I can't say people won't be assholes-" _shit_. Language. "Sorry-"

"It's okay, Dean swears around me all the time," Sam amends with a laugh and Cas nods, a smirk tugging at his lips.

"Uh, you should always do what makes you happy, though. Like, no matter where you go, or what you do, you're always going to encounter people who don't agree with you, or how you look. So-"

Sammy nods, like he's being gifted the greatest wisdom in the world. Cas huffs. "So if you wanna get your ears pierced, get your ears pierced. I mean, what's the worst that can happen?"

"That I'll either look really dumb or hate them. But I guess I can just take them out then, and it'll be like it never happened."

Cas laughs, a warm fondness already blooming inside of him. _He really is a cool kid_.

"Wow, I leave you alone for five minutes and you're already converting him to body modification? Tut tut, Cas."

Cas whips his head around, and Dean's leaning against the wall, a wide, gleaming smile pinching his cheeks that is making his eyes crinkle.

_He's so beautiful. Holy shit._

Cas flushes. "That's not-"

"I'm just fucking with you, man. Sam's been talking about it forever. He just hasn't gotten the nerve up to do it yet."

Dean pushes off the wall, continuing in a whisper, " _He's scared of needles_."

"You are aware that I'm _right here_ , right?" Sam asks, bringing both of their attentions back to him.

"Of course, how could I ever overlook the _World's Greatest_ Little Brother?" Dean says, plopping down right beside Cas.

Sam preens, but Cas now flushes _entirely_.

Because Dean is so close.

And there's easily enough room for at least four other people to sit comfortably on the other side of him, but here he is less than an arm's width away from Cas.

 _Chill_.

Keep it cool.

 _Calm down_.

"Yea, okay.. you're forgiven," Sammy says. "But enough with the flattery, we're losing daylight here, so." He motions towards the tv, causing Dean to huff at the same time Cas snorts.

Dean reaches around Cas to smack Sammy playfully in the leg. "Then what are you waiting for? No one's stopping you from resuming play, Hermoine."

"You're right," Sam says, pressing the button and thoroughly encasing the room in sound and color.

Dean settles in, jostling the cushions underneath as well as behind him, and Cas wishes he could do the same, but he's frozen.

He can't breathe.

 _You need to breathe_.

Then, because apparently the universe has the like, the most twisted sense of humor _ever_ , a warm breath ghosts over the side of his face, causing him to _just_ suppress a shudder. "Do you want some?" Dean asks, holding up a corner of the blanket which he is pulling over his lap.

Cas drags in a ragged breath and nods. _Okay, honestly- what the fuck?!_

Dean smiles, a minute twitch of a thing that only lifts one side of his mouth, and drapes the navy blue comforter over Cas' lap as well.

Cas can feel Sammy's eyes on him again, and dutifully focuses on the tv with rapt attention, because he is feeling way too many things at once right now, and he's not sure which he's more scared of gaining leeway.

Dean exhales in a low rush, relaxing further, and the heat radiating off from him under the blanket is doing absolutely _nothing_ but fucking with Cas' mind because it's like he can feel Dean, but he can't actually.. _feel_ him.

The minutes pass, and with each one comes the ability to relax a bit himself. He eventually melts back into the cushions, a sense of ease washing over him for the first time today and he knows it's all thanks to Dean. To this environment.

He smiles, definitely more to himself than anything and brings his legs up to fold in front of him. Dean shifts, giving him adequate room to do so, but at the same time keeps his torso firmly in place, so he's at an angle and has to brace himself with an elbow between them.

Cas smiles wider, and doesn't even care if Sammy is watching.

He's happy, dammit, and there isn't anywhere he'd rather be.


	32. Chapter 32

As soon as he sat down, Dean started panicking.

Cause what was he thinking?!

There was so much empty space on the other side of him that he could have easily given Cas some breathing room but no, he had to go and wedge right up next to him like some clingy fucking idiot.

Which is exactly what he is, but he can't help it. He just wants to be close to Cas and now that he _is_ so close, every one of his senses are full of nothing _but_ Cas.

His body heat, his smell- fuck, he smells so _good_. Like, fresh. And clean. Dean isn't sure what the exact scent is, but it's borderline intoxicating.

He's never been this wound up over someone before and the fact that this is only the third time they've ever hung out, should be a bit more concerning than it is.

Because he's supposed to be taking it slow, keeping it cool.

Not going and getting all.. _weird_ on the guy.

Thankfully, Cas seems to be more relaxed now, as opposed to when he first got here. And while that in itself is understandable, it doesn't stop Dean from wanting to reach over and grab Cas' hand.

 _Fucking chill already_.

Right.

Yes.

Cool as a cucumber.

The doorbell rings, and no, he doesn't jump. He's cool, remember?

Okay, yea he does, and it earns a round of laughter from both Sam and Cas. And, it may or may not make him feel all hot and gushy inside, from embarrassment _and_ the overall lightness of the sound.

Spoiler: it does.

When he comes back with the pizzas, as well as a 2-liter, he makes sure to sit a more reasonable distance away from Cas, so as to allow him viable room to eat.

He misses the warmth almost immediately, but this is for the best.

He can't inadvertently push Cas away by doing something as dumb as smothering him.

He's gotta be smart.

And mindful.

Yea.. that.

.

Cas wouldn't say he was surprised when Dean didn't sit down as close as he was before, and even though it stung a little, he didn't blame him either.

Trying to eat hot pizza with someone literally at your elbow would be too difficult, and now that the pizza is gone, they have more room to stretch out.

So, it's all good. Seeing as how they're still under the same blanket, and given that it's huge- most likely a Queen or King, there's more than enough space to get comfy.

Which is exactly what they do.

Dean migrates back to what must have been his original position, as that's where a pile of pillows are at, and tosses one to Cas. Cas takes it, with a smile, and scoots down to lay on his side.

He's not at all thinking about how Dean's legs are bent and just under his feet. And he's also not going to think about how he feels like he's being completely submersed in everything _Dean_.

The distinct smell clinging to both the pillow and comforter flood his nostrils and rewires itself throughout his system.

It's so.. warm? And comforting? Heavy, yet crisp. _Home_.

God, Cas just wants to pull in a deep breath and float in it, but he also doesn't want to be outed for being fucking weird.

 _Get it together_.

So, he lifts the blanket up closer around himself and buries his face in it instead. That's not weird at all.

And you can imagine how easy it was then for that lax drag of sleep to pull at the corners of his brain, tugging at his limbs like the most seductive of sirens, coaxing him into darkness.

The last thing he remembers is a quiet dialog scene, one that is still and somber, and the hushed, distant whisper of, _"is he sleeping?"_


	33. Chapter 33

Falling asleep, and then inadvertently staying the night at Dean's was not part of Cas' plan.

But yet, as he's coaxed slowly back into consciousness by the smell of old pizza boxes and the dim, wannabe light of overcast early morning, it seems that's exactly what happened.

He stares at the large, built in entertainment center encompassed by two, nearly floor-to-ceiling windows and wonders how; just _how_ this is his present reality.

Then, awareness begins to creep back into the rest of his body, and he flushes. Because those are most definitely Dean's feet, intertwined with his.

A quick maneuver of the blanket, and subtle peek over top, gains Cas a clear view of Dean's pliant, dreaming face.

And he looks so.. peaceful. So, _soft_ , that it causes an overwhelming surge of warmth to pulse through him.

Fuck.

This is not good.

He can't-

_Fuck._

Thankfully, although regretfully, his bladder starts to protest and he carefully extracts himself from Dean so he can slip from beneath the covers.

A cool gust hits him, making him shiver, so he wraps his arms around himself and is already walking towards the doorway when he realizes he doesn't know where the bathroom is.

And, he doesn't want to wake Dean up for such a stupid question, _or_ wander around the halls aimlessly because that just seems so..

He stops in the archway, glancing back at the couch where a clear impression of where he was nestled, right there in the middle, between Sam and Dean lying on either end, and a small.. almost, _grateful_ smile pulls at his cheeks.

The bathroom ends up being the second door on the left in the main hall.

Not that hard to find after all.

.

Dean wakes up because his feet are freezing, which is odd, seeing as how he's still fully tucked under the blankets.

Then, he realizes where he is, and remembers _who_ was sleeping below him.

He rips the covers off and his stomach pummels when he sees the empty space in which Cas had previously been curled.

Shit.

 _He left_.

A hollow ache starts to work itself into Dean's chest and he's just shy of grabbing at it when a low, _hey_ rumbles from behind him.

He turns to see Cas coming back into the room and the ache immediately disappears, swelling into a full blown wave of fondness instead.

 _He's still here_. 

And the side of his hair is ruffled, pushed up and messy, making his already _really freaking cute_ sleep pout ten times cuter.

No, a hundred times.

 _A billion_.

"Hey," Dean says, willing his heart to calm the hell down.

"I used your bathroom," Cas says, like he hopes it was okay to do so, and moves the comforter out of the way to sit down. "I hope that's alright."

Dean smiles, because seriously, could this guy be any more adorable? "Uh, yea.. I'd say it's cool if you use the toilet, Cas."

Cas ducks his head, but there's a smile present and Dean can't look away.

"So, I fell asleep.." Cas says, glancing from under his lashes and Dean fights a lazy grin.

"Yep."

"I didn't mean-"

" _Oh my god will you two talk somewhere else?_ " Sammy groans from the depths of his mound of blankets, cutting Cas off and making his eyes widen in silent  _oops_.

"Uh, yea.. sure thing, Sammy." Dean says, nodding towards the hall.

"Sorry, Sam." Cas says sincerely, and stands to follow Dean out of the room.

"It's fine," Sammy mumbles around a yawn. "Blueberry pancakes would make up for it, though."

Cas frowns but Dean just smirks. "You don't have to leave right away, do you?"

His hope rises when Cas shakes his head. So he adds, with a bit of that hope showing through, "then do you maybe wanna stay for breakfast?"

The answering smile he receives is one that he'd like to remember forever, because it is so.. _whole,_ and it only serves to further wrack what little remaining sliver of cool he has left.

This is going to be a wild ride.

.

Okay, so, to add to the list of things that were not part of Cas' plan.. helping Dean make pancakes in a kitchen that looks like it came straight out of a magazine, while Dean is clad in sleep wrinkled pajamas and has bed head, goes right there next to the top bullet point in bold.

_How is this even happening?_

Dean looks so warm. And inviting, and _ugh_ \- Cas just wants to slide up behind him and wrap his arms around Dean's waist. Rest his chin on Dean's-

_No. Stop thinking like that._

That is not taking this slow.

That is not being careful not to fuck it all up.

 _You need to take this slow and be careful not fuck it all up_.

He hands Dean the freshly washed bowl of blueberries instead, and goes back to his coffee. A safe distance away.

But Dean keeps looking at him weird, and it's sending him mixed signals because what if _he_ wants-

No.

"So, um.." Dean starts, flipping a perfectly golden circle. "I'm glad you came over last night."

Butterflies rush through Cas and he nods, leaning a hip against the counter in an act of nonchalance that he's not even close to feeling. "Yea, me too. It was fun."

"It was. Even though someone can't hang and ended up falling asleep halfway through Order."

Cas narrows his eyes, peering over the brim of his mug while a giant grin blooms behind it. "Hey. Fuck you. I can't help it you put me in a food coma and provided me with a comfy resting place."

Dean scoffs and rolls his eyes, making Cas grin even bigger. "Really? Dude, it was like.. 10 o'clock."

"Yea, and, maybe I didn't sleep that much the night before. How do you-"

"Wow, are you guys always like this?" a small, amused voice asks from the doorway.

They both turn, and sure enough, Sammy's standing there rumpled and puffy faced watching them.

"No," Dean says at the same time Cas lightly chides, "Well, I mean, your brother can be kind of an ass-"

" _Dude_ ," Dean scolds with mirth, throwing a blueberry at Cas and making him laugh. "I am _offended_. I brought you soup, man. _Soup_. I cleaned your _blood_ for Christ's sake. I-"

"Oh my god, I do not want to know." Sam says, holding his hands up in a halting gesture before coming to stand with them by the stove.

Dean doesn't respond, just does that thing where he tucks his tongue behind his teeth to stifle laughter, which only makes his eyes crinkle up and sparkle impossibly more.

Cas thinks he may have never seen anything so charming before.

Because it seems the magic isn't in the movies after all, but is instead pouring a fresh batch of pancakes onto the sizzling skillet.

Cas raises his mug to take a sip and is met with a clank of teeth.

He's smiling too damn big.

 _Holy shit. I never want this moment to end_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your guys' feedback has been incredible and I very much appreciate it. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment as it's really helped to motivate the creative juices. You guys are rad and I hope you're still enjoying as much as I am telling! :D


	34. Chapter 34

As soon as Cas leaves, (after being roped into watching one more movie by Sam) Sam turns on Dean. "Is Cas your boyfriend?"

Dean does a double take. " _What?_ No. Why?"

"But you like him, right?"

Jesus, where is this-

Dean is blushing. He knows he's bright freaking red and he's got nowhere to hide because it's only like 3 in the afternoon.

Shit.

"Uh.." he scratches the back of his neck, skin prickling with sweat beneath his fingertips. _Just be honest. What have you got to lose?_ "Yea.. I ah, I do."

Sam smiles. "Well, he likes you too."

Dean stares.

It's such a matter-of-fact statement. No, _you know, I think he likes you too_. Or, _there's a possibility the feeling's mutual._

It's just, _he likes you too_.

Point blank, straight to the chase.

Dean burns brighter.

 _I can't believe I'm having this conversation with my little brother_.

"Why uh," Dean says casually. "Why do you say that?"

Sammy turns an incredulous face and tilts his head. "Really?"

Dean groans. _C'mon ground, here's your chance_. "I'm being serious, Sam."

Sammy rolls his eyes. "You've heard the phrase, _body language_ , right?" Dean rolls _his_ eyes and Sam laughs. "Plus he looks at you like you look at him."

This stops Dean in his tracks. Does he look at Cas a certain way?

He wants to further question this, but thinks he's about met his quota of.. _whatever_ advice from his baby brother. So instead he asks the more important one at hand. "So, ah.. that doesn't, bother you? I mean, that I uh.. you know. Like a guy?"

Sam's face somehow turns even more incredulous. Offended. "Why would that bother me?"

"I don't know.." Dean trails off, unsure of why he assumed it would in the first place. "It just, sometimes people don't think it's kosher and-"

"Did you know," _oh god, here he goes_ , "that homosexuality has been observed in 1,500 species? That's one thousand, _five hundred_ different species. And that's just what's been _observed_. So, just because you like someone who happens to have the same genitalia as you, is not something I, or anyone else should be bothered by. And if they are bothered by it.. they _really_ don't deserve your time or energy. Honestly, Dean."

Dean stares.

No, those are not tears welling up in the corner of his eyes and, no.. he is not filled to the brim with love and gratitude for this small, too-wise-for-his-own-good sibling of his.

Actually, yes they are, and yes, he is.

"Dude," is about all Dean can say.

Sammy pushes his glasses up and smiles again. "I don't think mom and dad will care, either." Then, like he's just realizing something, his brow scrunches. "Is that why you've been acting weird lately?"

What?

"I've been acting weird?" Dean asks. He knows he's been having the internal emotional battle of the century but wasn't aware it was _that_ obvious on the outside.

"Uh.. yea. You zone, _a lot_. Like, Earth to Dean. Plus, you've been kinda grumpy."

Dean laughs, a small, huff of a thing. _Grumpy_. "Uh, yea.. I guess it is."

Sammy looks like he wants to ask if that is the _only_ reason, but they hear the front door close and Dean knows his parents are home.

He's kind of thankful for it, too, because he really doesn't want to go into further detail about how he can't stand football and wishes he could walk away from everything.

That's way too big of a can to open right now and it's probably best if he just handles one thing at a time.

So he helps clean the living room, talks with his mom and dad for a few minutes before going up to his room and throwing his bedding back on the bare mattress, then starts on his homework.

He absolutely does _not_ end up using the pillow Cas slept on later that night when he goes to sleep, and he _certainly_ doesn't have the side of the blanket Cas was curled under tucked closely around his chin because it still smells like Cas.

He's not some creep.

For fucks sake.

 _He wouldn't do that_.

I mean, honestly.. what do you take him for?

 _Pfft_.

Unbelievable.

You're unbelievable, you know that?

I really cannot bel-

That you would _seriously_ -

Okay.

You know what?

Fine.

He did.

He totally did do that and he's not even ashamed about it.

Just.. don't tell anyone, alright?

Cool. Glad we're on the same page.

Sweet, so..

Yea.

See ya tomorrow, I guess.


	35. Chapter 35

Dean is pretty certain that even if his 'friends' _weren't_ still giving him the silent treatment, he would probably decide not to sit with them today, anyway.

Meegan happened to walk by during his visit to Cas' locker this morning and the look she gave him was pure, undiluted disgust.

He doesn't need that negativity, especially when it was then completely erased the moment Cas showed up and gave him that smile.

You know the one. Where it's all soft and gummy, kind of shy and really, really fucking adorable.

It's that smile that managed to get him through the first half of the day, and come lunch, instead of heading straight for he cafeteria line, he hovers outside the doors.

_[Delivered-Cas]_

_so, where do u hide at lunch_

He waits, ignoring the passing looks he gets while doing so. Sure, the whispers have quieted down a bit, but not really, and boy lemme tell ya, do his fellow classmates have some imaginations on them.

The rumors are flying and so far, he's caught wind of these absolute gems:

That Cas is blackmailing him. With what, he doesn't know, nor could he even begin to fathom.

That he's tutoring Cas, as part of some extracurricular merit thing for college. Which, as far as he's aware, Cas is pretty smart and would most likely be the one doing the tutoring if a tutoring scenario were to ever present itself.

And his favorite; that Cas is his dealer.

Again, a totally laughable matter because Dean has smoked a sum of like, _four_ times in his life, and he has reason to believe that that's not exactly Cas' cup of tea.

It's actually kind of irritating that people seem to think there has to be some big, extravagant reason for their unlikely pairing, other than the fact that they just, you know,  _enjoy_ being in each others' presence.

It's not that hard of a concept to grasp, but is unfortunately lost on the student population of WHS.

His phone vibrates and sets him back in the present.

_[received]_

_in the east stairwell_

Dean snorts, because seriously?

_[delivered]_

_doesnt it smell like mold?_

_[received]_

_not really anymore. i wedged the window open so it kinda aired out_

_[received]_

_why?_

Dean hadn't realized his heart was beating as fast as it was, but wow, it's really hammering.

_[delivered]_

_is it cool if i join u?_

There's a delay in the response and Dean can't help but think, _too pushy_. But then, a new text bubble pops up and he smiles.

_[received]_

_of course_

.

Alright.

So. Okay.

Not only has Dean been waiting by his locker every morning, and did he _spend the literal night_ at Dean's, but now Dean just asked to eat lunch with him.

Cas has never eaten lunch with anyone other than himself, and he's never seen Dean eat lunch with anyone other than his friends.

Ever.

Like, not even in elementary school.

Granted, Dean was just another kid to him back then, but, it's hard not to notice when people are always fawning over and making such a big deal about said kid.

So, Cas _really_ can't help but feel like this is a significant gesture and he's trying _really_ hard not to get his hopes up but- _what the fucking fuck?!_

The ancient, metallic screech as the door opens below echoes up the stairwell and he freezes, straining to hear each ascending footstep as it gets closer and closer and inevitably turns his insides to a frantic, endless messy string of exclamation marks.

_Holy fuck this is happening_.

Dean's head appears around the separating wall and Cas sucks in a deep breath.

"Hey," Dean smiles, all composure and not in any way appearing to be sharing in Cas' internal symphony of screams. "You're right, it doesn't smell like a musty cellar anymore."

Cas laughs, no more than a small hiccup, but the tension he's been coveting begins to slip away. _It's just Dean_.

"Told you."

He watches as Dean drops his bag and hops up on the sill across from him, folding one leg in to lean back against the chipped pale blue paint, like he's done so a million times before.

It takes Cas' breath away; at the ease of which Dean so effortlessly weaves into his life. Into his surroundings- when he's no longer freaking or pushing Dean away.

And the only thing he can do is just, _admire_ this complex, totally unassuming boy that sees something in him worth defying his own surroundings for.

There's a flutter, low and deep, in the same spot warmth bloomed when he woke with Dean's legs twined with his, and instead of it scaring him.. or even flagging him in concern, it.. _consoles_ him.

It makes him think that maybe he doesn't need to fear it. Doesn't need to be weary of Dean or the feelings that Dean brings to surface within him. That maybe he can just, let them happen.

Let them roll and intensify, until he undoubtedly falls; face first and into the abyss.

He's already begun to slip, and while he's still very much gripping on to the safety railing with everything he's got, maybe in time he'll learn to let go completely.

To just.. be.

Dean holds out the other half of a cheese wrap and Cas takes it with a smile, wondering how Dean knew he hadn't gotten lunch yet and duly noting that Dean had opted for meat-free option.

Butterflies consume him and he snorts when Dean spills lettuce all over his shirt, then is damn well close to tears when that lettuce is thrown back at him in retaliation, sticking in his hair with a vinaigrette dressing that'll for sure make him smell like a shoe for the rest of the day.

But he doesn't care.

Because when the bell rings, they descend the stairs together. And Dean props the door open for him before parting with a smile and  _see you after class_.

Dean isn't at all stinted by the dozens of people who witnessed them emerge together, or does he appear to be ashamed of it, either.

Cas' grip loosens a little bit then, and when he maneuvers the crowded halls afterwards, he does so with a sense of acceptance he's never quite felt before.

And honestly, fuck anything that tries to take that from him.

He'll put up a hell of a fight if it does.

If _they_ do.


	36. Chapter 36

_[Received-Brendan]_

_what, too good to eat at the table now?_

Dean stares down at his phone, an almost irrational anger bubbling up inside of him.

Because, _really?_

It's been radio fucking silence on their end and now that he doesn't give them the pleasure, Brendan feels the need to be a condescending prick?

Fuck that.

_[Delivered]_

_tbh didnt think u would miss me. dont even know why ur bothering to text rn actually_

The ellipses appear immediately.

_[Received]_

_dude, seriously?_

_[Received]_

_ever since u started talking to novak youve become a major dick. wtf is up with you anyway? first u bail on practice now ur hiding out the in that dingy ass stairwell like some fucking loser_

_[Received]_

_ur better than that, man_

Dean sees red.

_[Delivered]_

_a) if me calling YOU out for being a dick constitutes /me/ being a dick, then okay fine i dont understand ur logic but *thumbs up emoji* b) has it ever occurred to u that maybe football isnt all that important to me? cause its not and_

_[Delivered]_

_c) cas is fucking amazing so so fucking help me if u say one more degrading thing abt him. id rather sit in some dingy ass stairwell like a FUCKING LOSER with him than be surrounding by a bunch of superficial, emotionally stunted pods who are probably only friends w me cause of who i am_

_[Delivered]_

_fuck u and lose my number while ur at it_

He watches the screen with unfocused eyes for a response that never comes. His chest is heaving, and he's clutching his phone so tightly that his knuckles are white so he drops it on the mattress with a thud and falls back to it, breath escaping him in a ragged exhale.

_Fuck_.

.

Cas doesn't realize he's smiling until he passes by the mirror in the hall and catches a glimpse of it.

He pauses, backsteps, and marvels at the foreign sight.

It takes great restraint to not reach up and touch his face, to make sure it really is him. Sure, he smiles, and laughs.. and is a lot more relaxed at home than anywhere else but this is- this is _different_.

He looks lighter. Happier?

Yea. That.

He looks happy.

It's one thing to feel it, but it's another to _show_ it.

That smile and revelation follow him into the kitchen where he pulls out all the pieces needed to make veggie lasagna.

No, he's not planning on bringing some to school tomorrow for lunch just in case he happens to have someone to share it with again.

He's not.

Swear.

.

Dean was not expecting to fall asleep, but he's roused to consciousness by a light knock on his door.

"Yea?" he croaks, rubbing at his eye with the back of his hand.

"You sleeping?" his dad asks, pushing the door open to expose a long, narrow light across the floor from the hall.

"Yea," Dean repeats, more clearly this time.

"It's kinda early, don't you think?" John asks, crossing the room now to turn his desk lamp on.

Dean squints. "Well I wasn't planning on it," he says, pushing himself up to his elbows. "What's up?" he asks when his dad just hovers near the end of his bed.

Then a cool dread begins to wash over him when he recalls his conversation with Brendan earlier. And he wonders if Brendan would be that big of a douche to tell his dad, who is friends with Dean's dad, everything Dean had said.

"I ran into Coach Rourke this afternoon."

Oh.

_Whew_.

No, wait.

_Shit_.

"Oh yea?" Dean plays at ignorance, all while internally scrabbling for composure.

"Yea," John says, taking a seat on the edge of the mattress. "He said you didn't show to practice last week. Care to explain why that is?"

Fuck.

"Well. I was there, but then when I didn't hear from my friend I got worried, so I left to check on him because he was sick and-"

"This the kid Sammy won't shut up about?"

Wait.

_What??_

"Huh?" Dean asks, blood rushing in his ears.

"Sam said you had a friend over on Saturday and you watched Harry Potter or something. I don't know, he seems to have really taken to him though." John pauses, like he's deliberating, then continues. "This the friend you went to check on?"

Dean nods, words seeming to escape him.

_I'm not ready for this conversation. I'm not ready I can't-_

"So I take it he ended up being okay, then?" John says, either unaware to Dean's panic or choosing to not notice it so Dean just nods again.

"And is this something that could happen again? You missing practice on account of him?" John asks, and Dean wishes he could read the tone, because it's seriously lacking it's normal authoritative pretense and it's _really_ fucking with his brain.

_Is he mad? Is he trying to tell me to_ not _let it happen again? What is he getting at?_

"I don't know," Dean answers honestly, albeit quietly.

He braces himself for the blowback, for the inevitable impact of disappointment the confession will surely bring. But, instead of tensing or getting angry, John just sort of.. deflates.

He nods, mouth screwing up on one side, and sighs. "Just, try to give your best. Alright?"

Dean blinks, unable to process literally this entire thing. _What the hell?_ ".. okay."

"Dinner is almost ready, so, don't be long." And with that, John pats him on the leg and stands, then walks to the door and disappears through it without another glance back.

Dean isn't sure what exactly it is that he's feeling, but he's 100% certain he doesn't like it.

Was that acceptance; in whatever weird, crippled and limited way his dad could offer or was it a poorly veiled attempt at masking his utter disappointment?

Dean doesn't know, and he hates it.

_This sucks_.

This really, really sucks.

And he really, _really_ wishes Cas were here right now.

To hug him or just to sit next him, he's not clear on which, but something tells him he'd be fine with anything. Just as long as Cas was near.

It's another five minutes before he manages to find the energy to get up, and even then he does so with great dismay.

_Why can't it just be tomorrow already_.


	37. Chapter 37

Okay, so, a couple of things:

First, Dean had not intended to sleep straight through his alarm, making him to not only have to forgo a shower, but also skip breakfast as well.

And, second, he didn't anticipate feeling even  _worse_ than he had when he'd gone to bed.

But, here he is- fifteen minutes late to school smelling like yesterday's sweat with bedhead, an empty stomach and shit ass mood.

He can't even think about what conclusions Cas probably jumped to when he wasn't there this morning.

He can't and he won't, because it will only serve to intensify said shit ass mood.

He knows it will and for that very reason, today can go fuck itself.

To put it politely, that is.

.

Cas is trying really hard not to read too far into why he didn't see Dean this morning.

It's not like Dean has to hang out at his locker. Or like he has to talk to Cas at all. Because no, he doesn't.

Cas knows that, and he respects if Dean needs to step back a little.

He's totally okay with it.

Seriously, he is.

Promise.

His bag clinks when it hits the table and he tamps down the swell of chagrin it brings.

Because when he seen that Dean wasn't at his locker, he backtracked and didn't even bother stopping. So the insulated tupperware full of leftover lasagna is still in there, sitting on top of his notebooks like some twisted reminder as to why he should never get his hopes up.

He quickly pulls his binder out and pushes the bag aside, telling himself over and over again that it's _fine_.

That it really, honestly is.

.

This isn't creepy at all.

Nope, not one bit.

That's what Dean repeats on loop as he waits outside Cas' class.

It's not his fault that he remembers the order of Cas' schedule, and in turn happens to know that Cas has Trig first thing.

It's also not his fault that he got out of _his_ class early with a bathroom pass.

What?

He needed to pee.

Well, _needs_ to pee.

Because he hasn't done it yet, and was really banking on getting to this side of the school before the bell rang.

Sure, he could have just texted Cas, and saved himself the trouble, but that seemed weird.

 _Yes, even weirder than standing outside Cas' class_.

Cause, what was he supposed to say? _sorry i wasn't at ur locker today, slept in late but hey hope u didnt miss me ; )_?

Yea, no.

That was not, and is not, going to happen.

So, he waits.

.

Cas zips his bag shut without even adding his notes and stands, slipping both the backpack and ruffled pad off the desk before making his way to the door.

No, he's not sulking. And _no_ , he is not bummed.

For real. He's not.

 _He's fine_.

He's cool and perfectly objective. So cool and objective in fact, that he breezes right through the door without so much as a glance in either direction.

Something catches his elbow and he swings around, ready to deck whoever the hell it is that grabbed him when he freezes, fist poised mid-air.

"Hey," Dean breathes, eyes wide. He loosens his grip and lets his hand fall.

Cas' stomach flips.

 _He's here_.

And he's.. here.

"Hi," Cas says, lowering his arm.

"I uh," Dean huffs, pausing to rub the back of his neck. "I missed my alarm."

It's an obvious explanation as to where he was earlier and Cas' insides begin to flutter.

 _It wasn't on purpose_.

But then, Cas notices that something seems.. off.

Not just because Dean is rarely late, but because the usual demeanor in which he carries himself- even this early in the morning, is missing.

Cas takes an unconscious step forward. "Hey. Um, is.. everything alright?"

Dean's eyes shoot up and Cas regrets asking immediately. _That's not your place, dummy_. "Oh, yea. For sure, just.." Dean pulls a blase face and waves dismissively. "I was just up late studying is all. It's cool."

 _He's lying_.

But, again, as much as that stings, it's not Cas' place.

"Okay," Cas says, a strange mix of emotions swirling inside of him. "I'll um.. I mean," he clears his throat, " _will_ I see you at lunch?"

Dean frowns, but then it swiftly morphs into a smile; one that Cas hopes means whatever it is that Dean is hiding, it isn't because of him. "Yea, of course. Why, you trying to get rid of me already?"

Cas flushes. That's not- "What? No. I just- I brought lasagna and I-"

"You brought us lunch?"

"Well, yea-" Cas stumbles, too caught up on the _us_ in there and how much he likes the way it sounds coming out of Dean's mouth. "I just figured since you got it yesterday, I could-" he cuts off when Dean grins.

"What?" he asks, feeling a bit winded even though he hasn't moved an inch.

"Nothin'," Dean shrugs, but the playfulness of his tone suggests otherwise. "Just, that was really nice of you."

Cas blinks.

He wants to say, _like you haven't already done a ton of nice shit for me?_ But instead decides to go with, "It's not that big of a deal."

Dean's grin softens and Cas wishes he had his Polaroid with him. _He's so beautiful_. "Maybe not. But ah, no one's ever brought me lunch before, so."

This takes Cas by surprise.

 _You've got to be kidding me_.

"Seriously?" he asks incredulously, but Dean just nods. "That's-"

The bell blares above them, interrupting his inevitably embarrassing followup and honestly, _thank god_.

"I'll, uh.. so, I'll see you at lunch." Dean says, circling around Cas only to begin walking backwards down the hall.

"Yea," Cas nods, hoisting his bag up and doing the same. "You know where to find me."

He adds the last bit as a joke, but Dean snorts and shakes his head. "I do, and.. I plan on it."

Cas isn't absolutely positive he was just imagining the wink that Dean tacked on right there at the end before he turned, but, judging by the curious stares he gets when he turns away himself, he wasn't.

Okay.

Well.

 _Holy shit_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fact: I rewrote this chapter probably more times than all the other chapters, combined. For whatever reason, this was not an easy one to get through and I'd like to apologize beforehand for any errors or inconsistencies. As always, thank you kindly : )


	38. Chapter 38

Was the wink too much?

Shit.

It was too much. Wasn't it?

_Stupid._

Dean was just trying to part on a good note. Because he could tell that Cas was a little burned when he gave such a crappy, transparent excuse as to why he was late.

It's not like he didn't want to tell Cas what was really bothering him, want to tell him everything- even the way he essentially lashed out at Brendan that he'd always choose Cas over him.

But, it wasn't the time or place to do so.

No, that doesn't come until the following Monday.

After not only losing the game and getting into an altercation with Brendan,  _at the game_ , (which is part of the reason why they lost) but also having another 'talk' with his dad.

One that included the cliche, though gut wrenching phrase _'I don't know what's gotten into you, son, but I'm disappointed. Not only are you letting your team down, you're letting yourself down.'_

And the real kicker there was that he _was_ letting himself down, by not letting himself be who it is that he inherently longs to be.

He wants nothing more than to just come clean, to tell his dad and the rest of the world that the Dean Winchester they all love and adore is _not_ the Dean Winchester he is on the inside.

And that by always trying to be what _they_ want instead of what _he_ wants, it is literally tearing him apart.

His life is unraveling around him and fuck- _he's scared_ , okay?

He is so goddamn scared because he doesn't even know where to begin trying to weave it all back together.

Well, he's got an idea. And that idea is sitting across from him on the sill, watching him with open, genuine concern.

That's when he realizes he hasn't said anything for the last five minutes and there are unshed tears in his eyes.

So, when Cas asks, "Dean.. are you okay?" in that gentle, inexplicably  _caring_ tone of his, he breaks.

He crumbles right there as the walls that everyone else have built up around him finally come crashing to the ground at his feet and he heaves- the monsoon of pent up confessions being kept at bay for years, now rushing out in a litany which has never been voiced.

Some not even to himself.

He tells Cas everything.

Right down to his inability to say whether or not Cas could be the reason he skips out again and how he is undeniably queer. He sticks to the bisexual label, as it's the one that fits, but gracefully omits that the only person he's currently interested is the very one he's talking to.

And Cas, well.. Cas is left speechless.

Who could blame him, though. Right?

He blinks, mouth parted and eyes wide, and if Dean didn't know any better, he'd say Cas was close to tears himself.

Dean's aware that he probably looks like a giant, hot fucking mess- what with flushed, salt streaked cheeks and snot dripping out of his nose.. and he's also aware that he should probably feel vulnerable because of that.

Embarrassed, even.

But, he doesn't.

Quite the opposite, actually.

He feels _relieved_.

Because not only does he trust Cas, with his deepest, most darkest secrets.. but he knows Cas would never judge him for them.

Would instead _accept_ them, and carry on as usual.

Silence falls, the only sound to be heard is that of Dean's breathing as it evens back out and the patter of rain against the tempered glass.

Cas is still, eyeing him with a hawk-like attentiveness as he wipes at his face with the end of his sleeve.

Then, Cas clears his throat. "I'm um.. I'm not gonna lie, I really want to hug you right now."

Dean's breath catches and he nods. Because, _holy fuck yes please that sounds really, really fucking good right now_ please.

He watches as Cas slides off the ledge and awkwardly waits for him to do the same.

.

Cas isn't sure what exactly it is that he's feeling right now, but he'd be willing to put money on the fact that it's every single emotion known to man, all rolled into one.

It's surreal, to say the least, and when Dean jumps down from the window to step in front of him, it's like he's looking on at the scene through someone else's eyes and not his own.

He reaches out, then, a gesture all but foreign to him, and closes the distance between them by wrapping his arms around Dean's shoulders.

The sensation that follows is almost debilitating.

Because yes, _this is it_.

This is what he's been waiting for, for possibly his entire life.

Dean slumps against him, like someone just up and cut the strings and he winds his arms around Cas' lower back, crowding in until there is no room whatsoever separating them and they're flush- chest to chest, foot slotted beside foot.

Cas exhales in a rush, barely holding himself upright and collapses into Dean in turn. He tightens his hold, bringing his hand up to cradle Dean's neck and anchors himself in place.

Dean sucks in a staggering breath and ducks his head at that, burrowing his face in the crook of Cas' neck as if it's the only place he wants to be and it nearly knocks Cas on his ass.

The jolt of endorphin spiked adrenaline that shoots through him has him turning his own face, nudging it at the side of Dean's head, in which Dean squeezes in response, fingers digging into the soft flesh of Cas' back and, _fuck_.. he never wants to leave this moment.

This warm, charged moment of pure, undiluted _affection_.

It's intense, and exhilarating and so perfect it seems that not even the bell can deter it, though it tries it's hardest as it echoes deafeningly around them. Because when they finally manage to untangle from each other, there's not an ounce of awkwardness.

No regret or weirdness.

They just.. smile at one another; soft, almost private little quirks that make the already glossed over feeling Cas is numb with even _more_ so as they shuffle down the stairs.

Dean holds the door open for them at the bottom, and while he doesn't actually say the words he obviously wants to say, he doesn't need to.

Cause Cas can see them, written plainly on his face:

 _Thank you_.


	39. Chapter 39

There was no denying that a definitive, incredibly pronounced shift had taken place in their dynamic and over the course of the week, a few things become innately clear to Cas.

The nervousness that seemed to cling to every interaction making them stumble over their words and blush, is gone.

The boundaries in which they tried to abide by, have all but vanished.

And the personal space? Nonexistent.

They are like magnets.

Where one moves, the other follows.

Dean stands a little closer in the mornings, sits a little closer on the couch and at lunch, their knees touch in the middle of the ledge.

It's like a fresh shot of espresso topped with a dollop of Prozac and it is sending Cas' sensory intake into overdrive.

He never knew that having a,  _companion_ could feel like this.

Just from someone simply being there to laugh at the dumb shit he says and who doesn't blanch like he's got the plague when they touch.

It's overwhelming, for sure, but it's also _amazing_.

And despite the fact that people are starting to draw new conclusions, mostly due to how Dean and Brendan got into a fucking _fist fight_ , on the field.. _in the the middle of the game,_ and Brendan shouted something along the lines of _'Novak turned you into a little bitch'_ loud enough for anyone who was within the vicinity to hear, he wouldn't trade it for the world.

Not even if those people are now pointing the finger at him for being the reason behind Dean's recent spiral from glory.

Because they don't know the real story.

And they don't know Dean.

.

Dean's big enough to admit that the highlight of his day is definitely when he gets to see Cas.

It is honestly such a great feeling to have zero guards in place, so you can just let someone.. see you.

For _you_.

And it's an even _better_ feeling when that person likes what they see and in turn, does the same.

He smiles to himself as he pulls the hood of his jacket up, then ducks out the front door and into the light morning drizzle.

.

Cas gets to school early Friday morning because he's got this stupid presentation board he needs to bring in for Biology, and the last thing he wants to do is rush and end up dropping it in a puddle or something.

He's just kicking his door shut when the familiar _hey_ sounds behind him and he looks over his shoulder to see Dean walking his way.

He smiles. "Hi."

"Do you want help?" Dean asks, already taking the board from his hands before he can even answer.

"And what would you have done if I said no?" Cas says as it leaves his grasp, eyebrow cocked question.

"Still carried it for you," Dean says with a grin and Cas rolls his eyes, falling into step as they weave through the cars.

Cas shoves his hands in his pockets and lowers his head against the rain. "So do you have practice or anything this weekend?"

Dean shakes his head. "Today. Why?"

"I was just wondering if you wanted to do something, or whatever."

"Obviously," Dean says as he pauses by the door so Cas can open it for him. "Oh, hey wait. Sammy told me to remind you we still have to watch the last Deathly Hollows."

Cas pushes his hood off and shakes out his hair with a huff. "Okay. So, tomorrow, then?"

Dean tips his head back to knock his hood off as well and smiles sideways at him. "Tomorrow."

" _Losers_ ," someone not even _close_ to discreetly coughs, and they both pause, looking over to their right where Jake and Meegan are standing with a bunch of Sophomore cheerleaders.

Cas doesn't realize he's put a hand on Dean's arm until Dean steps forward and it slips on the water resistant fabric. "Says the asshat hanging out with jailbait," Dean responds with a nod towards their entourage.

Cas snorts when Jake's face colors, and he has to really reign in the urge to flick them off before Dean nudges him and says, "C'mon."

They make a stop at Cas' locker first, before Dean insists on following him all the way to his Biology class, on the other side of the school, to drop his presentation off.

And then, because it's only polite to do so, Cas walks with Dean to _his_ locker and leans beside it as Dean transfers his books to bag.

They end up parting ways with plans of meeting in the cafeteria and tiny waves that are intended only for each other, as the onlookers at this point have become something Cas has chosen to ignore.

And ignore he does, even when they begin to whisper around him.


	40. Chapter 40

Cas doesn't know why, but he didn't factor in Dean's parents being here when he agreed to come over.

He should have, he realizes now, as he pulls in beside a shiny burgundy SUV parked next to Dean's truck.

 _Oh god_.

He's never had to meet the parents, in any scenario and somehow the fact that it's going to be _The_ Winchesters for his very first time seems like a sick universal joke.

The awkward shyness that he'd grown so used to not feeling the past few days settles itself right back in his stomach like it never even left.

He grabs the t-shirt from the passenger seat and gets out to walk up the front path just as nervous as he had been the last time.

 _Shit_.

.

Dean was hovering near the door, waiting to catch it as soon as Cas knocked because for whatever reason, he didn't give much thought about Cas meeting his parents.

Cause it shouldn't be a big deal, right?

Well, Dean is an idiot and forgot to connect the two, very small dots that the possibility of his dad being one of the many who now think Cas is responsible for his behavior lately, is very likely.

 _But he hasn't said anything, though_.

No, but that doesn't mean he hasn't heard the rumors, and it doesn't mean he's not going to either grill Cas as soon as he gets here or be a complete dick.

Yea, Dean could have just texted Cas and canceled the whole thing, but that's not what he wanted to do and the thought of Cas taking it the wrong way, no matter how in sync they've been all week, it just.. no, it wasn't an option.

There aren't any headlights to tip him off to Cas' arrival, as it's only mid afternoon, so as soon as three quick raps echo from the other side of the door, he runs for it.

Sammy, who must have also been hovering, appears out of fucking nowhere and is suddenly right on his back, all but reaching around him to grapple for the doorknob as well.

"Jesus, Sammy," Dean laughs, playfully pushing him away with his elbow. "Back up."

"No," Sam laughs in response. "Let me get it."

"Fine," Dean says, stepping aside with his hands up in surrender.

He's still smiling when Sammy swings the door open and reveals a hoodie clad Cas, who's hair is all soft and curled, windswept from the light breeze outside.

Their eyes meet and Cas smiles, shoulders visibly relaxing and before Dean can even get a _hey_ in, a baritone, "So you must be Cas." comes from behind him.

He whips around to see his dad standing there and a heavy weight drops in his gut.

 _Please don't be a dick please don't be a dick_ please _don't be a di_ -

"I am," he hears Cas say at his back, unable to look away from his dad, like he's trying to mentally drill the mantra into his dad's brain. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Winchester."

Dean's lip quirks at that and his dad nods, reaching between he and Sammy to extend a hand.

Dean does look away from his dad then, just in time to see Cas transfer a balled up white t-shirt from his grasp and take John's hand in firm.

His dad huffs, and Dean could cry with the relief he feels when his dad then says, "Please, call me John."

There's evident shock on Cas' face, but it quickly rearranges itself into a smile that basically takes a baseball bat to the back of Dean's knees.

He suddenly wishes they didn't have an audience right now because to hell with lack of reasoning, he wants Cas in his arms again.

.

Cas feels like he is floating when he follows all three of the Winchester men inside and closes the door behind him.

John leaves them to it almost immediately with something about _I'll be in my office_ and on the way to the living room, Cas gives Sammy the t-shirt he had brought.

"What's this?" Sam asks curiously, peering up at him through his glasses with a squint.

Cas shrugs, flushing a bit. "It used to be one of my favorite shirts, but ah.. it doesn't fit anymore so."

He can see Dean smiling out of the corner of his eye so he bumps him with the back of his hand as a silent _shut up_.

Sammy unfolds the shirt and his face lights up. "Oh my god this is so cool. Thank you!"

Cas isn't expecting Sammy to latch onto him in a near rib-crushing hug, but, he _does_ and thankfully Dean is there on his other side to catch the inevitable loss of balance.

"You're welcome," Cas huffs, an arm curling around Sam's shoulders in reciprocation.

It's not until after they separate that he notes Dean's hand was on his waist, steadying him, but now that it's gone, he wants nothing more than for it to come back.

.

Dean can't wipe the smirk off his face as Sammy tugs the shirt Cas gave him right over the one he's wearing, and smooths his hands down the worn black screen print of Hogwarts.

There's no doubt in Dean's mind that Elise found it somewhere along her travels and can just imagine a smaller Cas getting as geeked as Sammy currently is about it.

It makes that thick, gooey warmth flood inside of him again, so when they plop on the couch, Dean doesn't even try hiding how bad he wants to be close to Cas.

As soon as Cas folds his legs in front of him, Dean situates himself to where his back is on the cushions and throws his legs over Cas' lap.

Cas doesn't miss a beat, just settling in and resting his arms on top of Dean's shins like this is absolutely something they do, all the time, and is not in fact the very first.

He smiles down at Dean as Sammy sprawls out on the other side of him and Dean can't do a damn thing except return it in full.

Mary comes in about an hour or so later, and Dean makes no move whatsoever to un-drape himself from Cas.

Which in hindsight, he probably should have, seeing as how Cas goes stiff as a fucking board and blinks up at Mary like a deer in headlights, but.. Dean is comfortable, and a little sleepy, so his mind isn't all that quick on the draw at the moment.

"I don't mean to interrupt," she says, eyes flitting between Dean and Cas and their pile of limbs. "But.. do you boys need anything?"

Dean begins to heat then, but he can't sit up now because that will just look weird and suspicious so he clears his throat instead. "Uh, no. I'm good. You, Cas?"

Cas shakes his head, and Dean can see that he's freaking out but he doesn't know what to do so he fumbles for something to say. "By the way," he huffs, "mom, this is Cas, Cas.. this is my mom."

Cas croaks a small, "hi," then waves- and it is so awkward and _cute_ that Dean grins despite himself, despite the situation.

Mary smiles, open, welcoming and completely non-judgmentally. "It's nice to meet you, Cas. I've heard a lot of nice things about you." She tucks her hair behind her ear and turns to head towards the door. "You guys let me know if you get hungry, alright? I'll be downstairs. So just holler."

Dean nods and Sammy mumbles something that sounds like an _uh huh,_ but Cas just stares after her as she disappears through the doorway.

So Dean reaches out and tugs at Cas' sleeve, making him drop his gaze to refocus on Dean's. They don't say anything, but Dean knows that Cas understands what he's trying to convey.

 _It's fine_.

Cas nods and Dean smiles, letting his hand linger a moment before bringing it back to tuck behind his head.

He's not sure if Cas does it consciously or not, but a few minutes later, he shifts- and in the process, the placement of his hands change.. so one ends up slipping between Dean's calves and lightly cupping the inside of it.

It's a totally mindless and lazy move, so it could mean nothing, but that sure as hell doesn't stop Dean from zeroing in on the point of contact for the remaining duration of the movie.

And it definitely doesn't stop him from wanting to pull Cas down beside him so they can snuggle proper.

 _Shhh_ \- don't even say it.

Don't.

He knows.

He _knows_ , alright?

He's a big giant softy and.. you know what, _so what_. There's nothing wrong with that.

He owns it.

He's _got_ this.

He is, the Softest Softy to ever attempt the _Soft_.

Okay.

Alright. That's enough for today.

Go on.. get outta here.

Go. He'll see you later.

You guys and your ridicule.

 _Pfft_.

Un-fucking-believable.


	41. Chapter 41

As soon as the movie is over, Sam asks if Cas wants to see his room, so naturally, Cas says yes.

That's how he ends up sitting on Sammy's floor for the next hour, looking through his book collection and talking about his science project that won him  _second place_. Then of course, they're onto other very important things like, who is Cas' favorite character in the Harry Potter world (it's Hagrid) and what was his very first piercing (his septum).

Cas doesn't mind the questions and is even kind of amused by them, but then Dean suddenly pushes himself up from Sam's bed and says, "Alright, Nancy Drew, you've had him for long enough. I'm stealing him back."

He walks across the room and holds out his hand, eyebrows raised expectantly as he looks down at Cas.

Cas, who just laughs and lets himself be pulled up as Sammy fires back, "That doesn't even make sense, Dean. Nancy Drew was a detective."

"Yea, well.. whatever," Dean huffs, all but shuffling Cas towards the door.

"Sorry, Sammy, but ah," Cas motions to Dean with mock annoyance. "Thanks for showing me your stuff though, this was fun."

Sammy smiles, no-  _beams_  up at him. "Thanks for letting me show you."

Cas' chest both aches and swells with fondness at that. "Of course," he says genuinely, touched Sammy even wanted to share anything with him in the first place.

Dean's hand finds his lower back then, and he crowds in while ushering him through the door. "Relax, Sammy, it's not like you're never gonna see him again."

"Obviously," Sam snorts, rolling his eyes as he shoves a book back on the shelf.

Cas' imagination runs wild with everything that that one word could imply, and not just because Dean's hand is still at the base of his spine.

He bites his lip, stifling a smile.

_Holy shit holy shit holy-_

.

Dean only feels _kind_ of bad for breaking up bonding hour.

And he says kind of because he hasn't hung out with Cas since Thursday, which wasn't even for very long so- sue him. He wants some alone time, dang it.

No, not like _that_. Just.. sans distractions.

He drops his hand when they get out in the hall and pivots around Cas to lead the way to his room.

There might be a quirk to his lips as he goes, and his insides may be starting to do all sorts of weird, flippy things.

Cause, you know.. _Cas_ , in his _room_.

That is freaking huge.

_Huge_.

.

Dean's room is both exactly what Cas had expected it to be, and totally not at all what he would have imagined.

It's big, for one. Like, twice the size of Cas' and it's so.. clean?

There's clutter, definitely, but everything is sort of perfectly disarrayed.

It all has a specific place.

It's organized.

And the bed is fucking gigantic. A king, easily, with it's dark wood headboard pushed against a wall scattered with posters that is running adjacent to a wall framing two wide, white trimmed windows.

The pillows are mis-matched, but matching, with a preppy blue and red print plaid which accents the dark navy comforter, as well as the striped flat sheet, and then even the solid _slightly_ lighter blue fitted sheet poking out below it.

Cas notes that the pillow Dean has clearly been using is red, just like the one _he_ had slept on when he stayed over, and his stomach flutters.

Of course, there is another red one, so it might not even be the same.. but still.

He smiles regardless, and sits down on the edge of the bed so that he's looking up at Dean. "This is nice, I like it."

Dean grins. "Yea?"

Humming in answer, Cas nods, then leans back to splay his hands on the lightly rumpled blanket behind him. "So, what do you usually do when you're not being a pain in everyone's ass? Mine, in particular?"

The responding laugh that shakes through Dean is enough to make Cas glad he's already seated and he twists to follow Dean's movement as he walks around the bed, then plops near the headboard.

"Music, usually," Dean says, lifting his butt to fish his phone out of his pocket. "Or I read. _Or_ , play video games with Sam," he finishes, eyes on his screen.

"What do you listen to?" Cas asks, already turning the rest of his body so that he can crawl up the mattress and sit beside Dean.

Dean glances over and Cas' breath hitches, as it's so entirely different being this close while in Dean's _bed_.

The corner of Dean's mouth twitches and he tilts his phone so Cas can read the songs of the playlist.

Cas leans in, smiling when he recognizes name after band name and peeks from under his lashes to meet Dean's eyes. "I wouldn't have pegged you for an indie pop type."

Dean scoffs. "Yea, well.. I wouldn't have pegged you for a _Hufflepuff_ , but," he ends with a shrug, which has _Cas_ laughing.

He playfully pushes Dean in the shoulder before falling against the pillows, situating himself in a semi-upright position. "Press play."

Dean does, then goes about settling in as well, turning somewhat at an angle so he can prop himself up on his elbow.

And that, is when Cas realizes he's falling.

Hard.

The grip he'd been so sure he could release _in time_ , now seems no more than a distant, abstract concept- as apparently he'd already let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just another quick thank you to everyone for your wonderful comments, and taking the time to leave them. It's amazing to hear your feedback and read your excitement. So, thank you. : )


	42. Chapter 42

A quiet knock pulls Cas from his dream with a snort, and he stirs, humming something like a _huh?_ while wondering why the hell Elise was knocking in the first place.

She usually just helps herself. And isn't she supposed to be in Maine right now?

What's going o-

The bed shifts, and his eyes shoot open at the very same moment a muffled, "Dean, hunny?" comes through the door.

Cas darts up into a half-sitting position to stare in horror as the door opens, paving way for Mary to poke her head through with a blinding sliver of light.

"Yea?" Dean says hoarsely, pushing himself up as well so that his shoulder bumps into Cas'.

"Oh. Were you-" Mary cuts off, eyes wide as she hurriedly turns back towards the hall. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. I just wanted to let you know that your dad and I are going to the movies, so Sam is ordering pizza."

"Interru-" Dean starts to say, confusion evident in his sleep heavy voice, but she's already making her exit.

"You're welcome to stay, Cas. We'll be home later."

And with that, she closes the door again, leaving them submersed in darkness.

There's a tense beat of silence before the bed jostles and the lamp beside it flicks on. Cas watches with bated breath as Dean falls back to the mattress and rubs at his face.

"So," Dean says, mouth stretching into a small yawn. "Is it just me or did my mom just act like she walked in on us fucking?"

Cas huffs, unsure how to catalog the feeling that rushes through him at Dean's words, and nods. "Yea, she did."

A slow smile spreads across Dean's face as he looks up at Cas, and it's all Cas can do to not lean down and kiss him.

It's not fair, for there to be zero shame or disgust in Dean's expression from his mom's assumption- instead only fond amusement. And it's not fair that he looks so enticingly tousled as he blinks owlishly at Cas, after having just napped within each others' grasp.

It may be the residual fuzz of sleep clouding Cas' judgment, but it's almost as if Dean is silently asking for exactly what it is that Cas wants to do.

Cas' heart thuds unevenly, erratically, and he licks his lips, mostly of reflex, then relishes in the morphine-like calm that settles over him as Dean tracks the movement.

He's already begun to lower himself when Dean reaches out to touch his sleeve, and he honestly doesn't think his blood could pump any faster without giving him a damn aneurysm. He smiles, a gentle curve of of his mouth when-

The door flies open and they both jump, just barely avoiding smacking foreheads, and Cas clutches at his chest as Dean hurls himself up into a sitting position again to glare at the intruder. " _Dammit_ , Sammy!"

Sam just grins, and Cas can't help but do so as well, because, really? .. _really?_ "Sorry," Sam says, not sounding an ounce bit of sorry. "I just wanted to let you know the pizza should be here soon." He pauses, hand still on the handle. "You're staying, right, Cas?"

Cas glances at Dean and nods when Dean does, his breathing starting to return to normal. "Yea. I am."

"Okay, good. Because I already ordered that pineapple olive thing you like."

Cas huffs, unable to do anything else, as he's filled to the brim with more emotions than he can sift through. "Thanks, Sam."

He stays on the bed while Dean and Sam argue over who gets what controller and which game they're going to play first, laughing at regular intervals to the bickering that ensues.

Dean points at him, brows knit together in faux seriousness. "Hey, you just wait til it's your turn. You won't think it's so funny then."

But when his turn does come, Sam lets him choose everything, and there's obviously only one thing he can do in response to Dean's indignant ' _seriously?_ '.

Stick his tongue out.

Which ultimately earns him a crumpled napkin to the head.

That he then uses to wipe the tears of laughter that follow after Sammy chimes in next to him.

.

There are easily a billion other things Dean would rather be doing right now instead of saying goodnight to Cas.

But, reluctantly, that's what he's about to do.

It's well after one in the morning, and his parents have long since gone to bed. He's also pretty sure Sammy is passed out in the bean bag upstairs.

Which leaves just the two of them in the quiet foyer, the only noise to be heard is that of the wind whipping just on the other side of the open door behind Cas.

"I'm glad you came over today," Dean says, hands shoved in his pockets to keep him from doing something stupid. Like grabbing Cas' face and kissing him.

Because he wasn't totally imagining that earlier, was he?

I mean, he was only half lucid, but still.

Cas looked like he wanted to kiss him.

And he _definitely_ wanted to kiss Cas.

Now, though, Cas seems more hesitant. More composed.

Reserved.

So Dean keeps his hands safely tucked in the tiny cotton confines of his jeans.

"Me too," Cas says, a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

Dean waits for him to say something else, even make a joke about how his mom thought they were screwing, but he doesn't.

He just shuffles from one foot to the other, hand resting in the front of his hoodie as the other ruffles the back of his messy hair.

 _Messy from my bed_.

Dean's stomach swoops, so he bounces on the balls of his feet to try and quell it.

"So, I'll uh.. see you Monday?"

Cas nods, sliding his other hand into his pocket.

 _I really want to hug him_.

"Kay, so, um.. goodnight," Cas says, making to turn and Dean just can't leave it at that. He yanks his hands free, then reaches out to catch Cas' elbow before he crosses the threshold.

" _Cas wait_."

Cas blinks at him, no doubt taken aback by his rash actions, but-

"Is it cool if I.." Dean trails off, drawing a blank on to how to ask for a _hug_ without sounding like a complete noob.

Cas smiles wide in understanding though, pulling his hands out of his hoodie to step forward and wrap his arms around Dean's shoulders like they're meant to be there.

Then, just like last time, Dean winds _his_ arms around Cas' waist, and tugs him closer.

He wouldn't go so far as to say it's better than before, because he's about 99.9% positive nothing will ever top that, but it's damn close.

"You don't have to ask for a hug, Dean," Cas whispers, squeezing slightly to accentuate his words.

Dean nods, grin slipping into place. "Duly noted."

He's not prepared for the dazed, floaty look Cas is sporting when they separate, but something tells him he doesn't look all that much different.

The door shuts after Cas with a soft click, and Dean bounds up the stairs with a newly revised vigor.

He's falling, and he's falling fucking _hard_.


	43. Chapter 43

It's been four days.

Four freakin' days, and Cas hasn't made a single peep regarding their almost, definitely, _would-have-been_ kiss.

Well, at least Dean thought it would have been. He's not so sure anymore. Because with every passing moment of silence on the small, tiny slice of time, he's beginning to wonder if he really _did_ imagine the whole thing.

And it wouldn't be so nerve-wracking if Cas totally recoiled all together. But no, he's still just as open as he was before.

Which is exactly why it's fucking with Dean's head.

He sighs, stuffing his homework into his bag before bounding down the stairs.

Friendship is better than no-ship, he supposes.

And Cas is still Cas, in whatever capacity.

.

_[Received-Dean]_

_did u eat already?_

Cas pauses mid-hop, one leg in his pants, to thumb a response across the cool screen.

_[Delivered]_

_no i just got up, why?_

_[Received]_

_mom made muffins. ill bring u one_

He smiles, a rush of warm adrenaline pulsing through him.

Dean is so-

Fuck.

Dean is so _good_.

He's so fucking good and Cas just wants-

No.

 _Ugh_.

Okay, fine.

He wants it all.

He wants literally every single thing Dean can or will give him and it scares him.

It scares the living hell out of him because he's never in his life felt so.. _dependent_ on someone before.

For things as simple and mundane as a _muffin_.

He's begun to rely on Dean in such minuscule, easily overlook-able ways that he doesn't even know how to begin addressing the significance of that.

Then, the kiss- well, what would have _absolutely_ been a kiss, came, and it left him reeling.

It's all happened so fast; snowballed, really.. and he just- he's having a hard time catching his breath.

Because now he's feeling so _much_. So goddamn much that he's waiting for his organs to begin shutting down one by one from over-stimulation.

 _And nothing's even happened_.

How the hell will he handle it when it actually does?

 _If_ , it actually does.

Oh god. He can't-

Shit, he never responded to Dean's text.

He hurries out a reply, and hopes Dean will just shrug off the five minute delay as Cas doing whatever it is he does in the morning.

_[Delivered]_

_thank u ; )_

The followup comes immediately after.

_[Received]_

_np :P_

Dammit.

.

Cas on a normal day? Hot.

Cas in a cardigan? Even hotter.

Cas in a cardigan with a shirt sporting one of Dean's favorite bands logos underneath it? Jesus Christ, just sucker punch him in the gut already why don't you.

He's staring. He knows he's staring, but he can't for the life of him tear his eyes away as Cas twists the combo lock.

 _It's not fair_.

Nor is it fair the way Cas doesn't flinch one bit when Dean reaches up to brush the crumbs from his chin, after having just shoved half the muffin in his mouth so he could switch the books from his locker.

But instead, just _leans_ into the touch, like he fucking wants it.

Welcomes it.

.. in the crowded hallway where anyone and everyone could be- no, _are_  probably watching.

It makes Dean's blood pressure spike right off the charts and when he walks to class shortly afterwards, it's with a sense of auto-pilot he's immensely thankful for, because his brain sure as hell isn't working.

What does it all _mean_??

He wishes he knew- wishes he could read the fine print that comes along with being so close to Cas Novak.

Cause he's definitely not going to push it, and the last thing he wants is to force anything.

He groans, dropping his head into his hands once he's seated at his desk.

_Son of a-_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could probably thank you guys for an eternity and it still wouldn't be enough to express how much your feedback/enjoyment/excitement/SQUEES have been the highlight of my posting experience. You all are such a great audience and I am entirely thankful for every kind word left. <3


	44. Chapter 44

Dean knew it. He fucking-

He _knew_ it.

From the second Brendan grabbed his bag and went to get dressed on the other side of the lockers yesterday he fucking-

 _Goddammit_.

He spits on his sleeve, rubbing even more frantically- all while trying to ignore the audience he's gaining as he does so.

 _Motherf_ -

.

Cas slows his step the moment he rounds the corner.

_Jesus, who the hell died?_

He makes his way forward, glancing from side to side at all the faces frozen in something between shock and morbid interest.

This is weird.

When he gets closer to his locker though, he sees it.

Well, he sees Dean.

And Dean is scrubbing furiously at the red, chipped paint with the end of his sleeve- his balled up fist pulling at the fabric so that it's stretched taught against his neck, where the skin is flushed pink and his tendons are bulging.

Oh no.

 _Oh no, oh no_ -

Cas' heart starts racing, and he's already pretty sure what he's going to be met with before he even stops behind Dean, but that doesn't prevent it from stinging any less when he reads it for himself.

 _FAG_ his locker says; in large, thick black letters, now smudged with the effort of Dean's hurried actions.

Dean must sense him, or feel him, because his head whips around and the sheer _hurt_ as well as the anger laced throughout those otherwise charmingly bright features knocks the breath right out of him.

He's already begun to back away, so when Dean rushes out a hoarse, cracked, " _Cas_ ," with an extended hand; like he's reaching for something he can't quite grasp, it's all Cas can do to not trip over his own two feet as he quickly turns and pushes through the crowd again.

"Cas, wait!" Dean shouts, at the very same time scandalized murmurs break out, but he can't breathe. He can't _see_ \- his vision is blurring and he is _not going to fucking cry_.

Not here. Not because of that.

Not because of _them_.

"Cas. _Please!_ " is the last thing he hears before the bathroom door swings shut behind him.

He sprints towards the sinks and grips the edge of the nearest, willing his chest to stop heaving because it hurts.

It all fucking  _hurts_.

.

Dean pushes the door open and is immediately crowding into Cas' space, hands coming out to pull him away from the sink so he can spin him and get him into his arms.

"Cas I am so sorry," he says thickly. "I'm so, so _so_ sorry. I tried to-"

Cas shakes his head, hair tickling the side of Dean's face. "It's not your fault, Dean."

Dean frowns, blinking at the burn in his eyes the quiet despondence of Cas' voice brings.

 _The hell it isn't_.

"Bullshit," Dean says, holding Cas tighter. "If I hadn't-"

Cas huffs, shaking his head again. "Dean, Brendan has been calling me a fag long before you came into the picture. This isn't new."

Dean stills, the statement cutting him swift and deep. Because it's true.

He knows it's true, because he was there for most of the scenarios.

A hot, sickening sense of self-loathe seeps into his gut and he heaves as a tidal wave of regret slams into him.

 _Fuck_.

He squeezes his eyes shut against the onslaught, and this time, warmth finally spills over. " _Cas I am so sorry_."

His voice is so small and hushed, he barely hears it himself in the din of the ancient hum of pipes around them.

Cas pulls back, just enough to look Dean in the eye when he opens them, and it serves as nothing but another kick in the groin.

There are glistening tracks on Cas' face as well, but now instead of the shattered hurt that was there in the hall, an almost bittersweet resolve is in it's place.

"I don't blame you, Dean," he says. The words soft, sincere. "You weren't the one delivering the punchlines."

" _Or_ the punches," he adds, a tiny smile twitching at the corner of his lips and Dean huffs- a twisted, conflicted sound.

"But I didn't stop them," he whispers, the pain evident in his conviction.

Cas ducks his head, then shrugs. "You didn't have to."

"Cas."

He glances up, composure slipping into place. "I mean it Dean. Yea, at the time, maybe I wondered why you kept your mouth shut but I get it now. You were dealing with it just as much as I was. Maybe even more so because you were alone.. and nobody could _see_ you."

Dean's vision blurs all over again and he sucks in a stuttering breath.

 _Goddammit_.

"Why are you so perfect?" he asks hastily before he can stop himself.

Cas stares, mouth parting. ".. what?"

Shit.

"You- you're so,  _perfect_. Like, you never judge. Ever. You just.. fuck- you _get_ it."

Cas smiles, a timid, amazed little quirk and Dean wishes they weren't in a dingy bathroom that anyone could walk into at any time, because he'd really like to take his chances and see if he's been beating himself up over nothing in regards to this whole kiss thing.

"I think you're the first person that's ever said that about me."

Dean huffs. "Yea, well.. it ain't gonna be the last time you hear it so."

Cas' mouth screws up in attempt to no doubt hide the grin that's threatening to break free, and he bows his head again.

Dean lowers his own to rest his cheek on the top of it, then wrinkles his nose when Cas' hair brushes his nostrils.

"You know what the funniest thing about it all is, though?" Cas says into Dean's hoodie after a few moments of silence.

"Huh?" Dean asks, already feeling significantly better at the lightness and ease now emanating off of Cas.

"It's not even true."

Dean frowns in confusion. "What's not?"

Cas pulls back and tilts his head. "I'm not gay."

Dean's chest clenches, his eyes widening.

_What?!_

Oh no. Oh no he _was_ imag-

"I'm pan."

Dean exhales in a rush, shaking his head. " _Jesus fucking_ -"

"What?" Cas laughs, to which Dean replies with a, "Nothing." Then leans forward to press a gentle kiss to Cas' forehead.

And it happens so naturally that he doesn't actually realize he's done it until he already has, and before he can even _think_ about starting to freak about it, Cas just.. smiles.

That big, goofy ass gummy grin of his while he looks up at Dean with huge, wondrous eyes.

" _Thank you_ ," he says, tugging at the back of Dean's hoodie where his hands are still wound.

"For what?" Dean asks, slightly winded.

"For getting it."

Dean huffs, curling in to wrap Cas in yet another hug, then smiles an equally goofy grin of his own as Cas burrows his face in the crook of his neck.

Because this? This is all he could have ever dreamed for.

And then some.


	45. Chapter 45

So, after a visit to the principal's office, and signed statement that he, Dean had no part whatsoever in the vandalizing of Cas' locker other than trying to scrub the damn thing clean, he thought he was finally done with it.

Done with Brendan.

Thought he could just, you know, _ignore_ the guy for the rest of the school year. Tough it out for the remainder of the season and keep to himself.

Keep to Cas.

But boy, was he wrong. Because as soon as he gets home, his dad is waiting for him in the doorway.

"Son, we need to talk," John says, that same hesitant resignation from before practically dripping off of him.

Dean sighs. _All in one freaking day, huh?_ "Alright."

.

The upside of having his locker graffiti-ed to close to no repair is that Cas now has the only one in the entire hall with a freshly painted front.

It's so crazy, too, because a month ago, he probably would have seen the shiny, slick red gloss as some sick reminder of what was just beneath it.

Of what was always there- lurking, ready to torment him.

Ready to pick at him.

But now? All he sees is Dean.

He sees a reminder that not everyone is awful.

That someone actually cares.

That they care enough about him in fact, that they try to get magna sharpie off with _spit_ and their _sleeve_.

Hell, if that's not worth seeing over the bad.. then he honestly doesn't know what is.

.

"I got a call from your school today," John starts, perching on the edge of the recliner.

They're in his office, which is like an athletic achievement vault, and being that he is literally the athletic director for the university, it's kind of a given.

But that doesn't stop the walls lined with winning jerseys, newspaper articles, awards, and plaques.. even the large, built-in cabinet housing every trophy, football, pompom and cleat won _personally_ between the both of his parents from feeling as if they're closing in on him.

"Dean," John prompts.

Dean fidgets, nodding into his lap from where he sits on the corner of the coffee table.

"Talk to me, son," John says; his tone open, yet concerned.

"I-" Dean cuts off, voice cracking.

Shit.

"Dean, tell me what's going on," his dad goads gently, though insistently.

"I," he tries again, the words now wet- thick. "I can't breathe."

"Are you-"

"No, I mean I can't _breathe_. I'm suffocating."

"Dean I'm not sure-"

"Dammit, dad. This," he pauses, inhaling sharply as he motions with a quick sweep of his hand around the room. "This isn't me."

"What do you-"

"This life," he sputters, wiping at his cheek when the first tear falls. "Sports. Random girls. Asshole fucking friends. It's not me. It's not what I want."

".. it's not who I am," he adds after a beat.

The bolt of John's jaw flexes. "Son, does this have anything do with Cas?"

"What?" Dean blinks.

"Your acting out. It all started around the same time you became with friends with that boy and I-"

"What?! Dad, no. I mean, yea.. Cas ties into it but only because he's helped me realize I don't want to hide it anymore. I've felt like this long before him."

John nods, brows knitting together as he tries to process what Dean is saying. He's quiet for what seems like an eternity, and then, finally, he clears his throat. "So the.. ah, the fight.. at the game. That was because-"

"Because Brendan is a raging dick and for some reason has made it his life's mission to treat Cas like shit, and in exchange, now, _me_."

John's eyes widen with genuine surprise. "This has happened before? With Cas?"

Dean balks. "Um.. yea. For years. I'm almost positive the locker today was him, too."

"Why haven't you ever said anything?"

"What?"

"Jesus, Dean. I thought we raised you better than that."

"Dad I-"

"No son, I'm not angry with you. I'm just," John shakes his head, leaning forward to rest it in his hands so he can rub at his face. "I'm upset that you felt you couldn't talk to us about this. About any of this. We're your parents, Dean. And we love you. Unconditionally."

Dean has to take a couple of deep, steadying breaths, because the overwhelming rush of relief, among many other things, that washes over him in that instant is almost debilitating.

Then, before he knows it, his dad is kneeling in front of him, and wrapping him up in a giant bear hug much like the one's he used to get when he was a kid.

"I'm sorry I didn't notice sooner," John says, guilt staining the words. "Didn't see that you were hurting."

Dean shakes his head, a sad smile pulling at his lips. "I'm good at keeping things under wraps."

His dad rocks back to sit on his heels and looks him square in the eye. "What you said before, about being concerned for Cas. Was that.."

Dean nods. "I thought something happened, because people were, you know. Talking."

John's quiet for another moment, and then, "So are you two.."

Dean flushes.

 _Oh god_.

"Um," he clears his throat. "No. Well.. I don't know. We're-"

He stops talking when John smiles.

Then he ducks his head, huffing before continuing. _This cannot be happening right now._ "It's whatever. It's.. something. He's-"

"You like him," John says, a strange sort of amusement to his tone that Dean hasn't heard in a while.

"I do," he agrees, glancing up to see his dad smile even wider.

Then he pats Dean on the knee and pushes himself to his feet. "Try not to keep so much bottled inside from now on, okay? It's not healthy. You'll give yourself an ulcer, and at your age.. trust me, that is something you do not want."

He sounds like he's speaking from experience and Dean nods, a lightness to the movement that he's never felt before. "Okay."

"And I'll talk with coach, see what we can do about getting you off the team."

Dean stares. "What?"

"Well, come on now, son. What point is there in you playing if you don't find enjoyment in it?"

He blinks. "I don't know."

John actually huffs at that, already making his way to his desk. "Exactly. Let me take care of it and.. why don't you go call that boyfriend of yours. See how he's holding up after what happened this morning."

"He's not my-"

John fixes him with a look that says _I call your bullshit and raise you ten_.

"Alright," Dean concedes, standing to cross the room. "And, uh.. thanks, dad. A lot."

"Of course, son. Your mother and I are always here for you. Don't forget that."

"I won't," Dean says before slipping into the hall.

He hardly remembers walking outside, and he definitely doesn't remember texting Cas, but he must have.

Because a few minutes later, he's pulling into Cas' driveway, then bounding up the front stairs to a door that's already open.

Cas is there, ready to greet him with a soft smile and warm hug, before stepping aside to let him in.

Dean is certain there's nowhere he'd rather be, than here.

And no one he'd rather be _with_ , than Cas.


	46. Chapter 46

A myriad of things happen the following day that quite honestly leave Cas feeling as if he has whiplash by the time class lets out.

First, his car wouldn't start. So he had to walk to school, which made him like twenty minutes late and miss his morning routine with Dean.

Then, they were all called to the office again; where John, Coach Rourke, and who Cas could only assume was Brendan's dad were waiting for them.

Because apparently, after his talk with Dean, John seemed to have taken it upon himself to personally see that Brendan be punished.

.. as well as stand in for an acting parental figure on behalf of Cas.

I know- heavy shit.

Needless to say, it didn't go over so well. Being that Brendan was really banking on the prospect of getting a full ride once the scouts started coming around and all.

Many a heated words were exchanged, in addition to matching death glares from _both_ Malowski's- each with thinly veiled warnings beneath the surface. But none of that mattered, because John wasn't having a second of it.

He had stepped right up into Brendan's dad's face and pointed sternly. "It's high time he be held accountable for his actions, Lucas. Your son is a walking liability to anyone who so much as sneezes in his direction and I swear to all the powers that be, above and below- if he so much as lays another _finger_ on either of my boys again you'll be dealing with a hell of a lot worse than the Washington state educational system."

John then finished his sweat-inducing statement with a jab to Lucas' chest before ushering Dean and Cas out of the office.

And as if those words/promises alone weren't enough to send Cas into a near state of emotional shock, Dean had to go and buy a ticket to the concert he thought he'd be missing tonight, due to the fact that it's nearly two hours away and his car is basically dead.

But, being that Dean is Dean, when Cas protested, Dean just shrugged him off with _it's not a big deal, Cas, I can drive_ ,and a smile that made his knees threaten to give out.

That's precisely what landed him where he is now; in the passenger seat of Dean's truck as they barrel down the highway, nothing more than an arm's width of space between them, with the windows cracked to let in the cool, pre-storm breeze.

.

The last 24 hours have easily been the most mentally exhausting of any that Dean can remember, ever, so this little impromptu road trip with Cas is exactly what he needs.

What they both need.

Even if it is only for a few hours.

It'll be good to just, get away. To be somewhere that no one will know them from the next person and they can be.. them.

Dean and Cas.

Instead of Dean _Winchester_ and _Cas_ _Novak_.

He glances over at that thought, smiling at the lax way Cas is lounging at an angle, with his chin propped in his hand and leg folded up on the seat. At the way his hair is blowing wildly in the wind heavy with the thick, sweet scent of oncoming rain.

The sky has been slowly morphing into a deep, almost.. blackened purple for the last hour or so, with scattered clusters of darkness forming in the distance. The contrast between it, and the distorted, hazy ivory glow of the approaching city make the skin on Dean's arms prickle.

"It's the next exit," Cas says, peeling his eyes away from the rolling greenery at their sides to turn a soft smile on Dean.

Dean nods, a low thrum in his stomach being added to the ripple of flesh. "Roger that."

.

Cas hasn't been to _T_ _he Launchbox_ since the beginning of summer, and so the moment he hops out of the truck, he's hit with how much he's fucking missed it.

It's really no more than just an old warehouse converted into a bar/venue with a skate ramp in the back but it's his happy place.

Well, one of his happy places. Seeing as the other is coming up behind him to stop at his back.

"So this is it?" Dean asks.

Cas nods, looking over his shoulder as a wide grin stretches his face, anticipation making his cheeks tingle. "Wait til you see the inside."

Dean's own expression brightens and he nudges Cas forward with his shoulder. "Well get moving, then."

.

True to Dean's previous notions about Cas' hangouts, this one pretty much hits directly on the head.

It's seedy. And dingy, and old, and _dark_.

There's busted lights littering the place and the walls are covered in spray paint. As well as torn posters, fliers, smeared gum and some other very questionable things that Dean would rather not think about.

It also smells like a menagerie of weed, pungent booze, and gross, stale cigarettes- which explains the almost fog-type blanket of smoke hovering above the crowd.

Needless to say, Dean loves it.

He's barely keeping his eagerness in check to actually get _inside_ as they pause by the door, just long enough to flash their I.D.'s and tickets to some long haired guy, who ticks them off on a small silver clicker.

Once they're slapped with bright green wristbands blaring to the world that they're _at least_ 18, but still under 21, Cas reaches back and grabs Dean's hand, lacing their fingers together in one swift move so as to efficiently tug him through the tightly packed thrush of people.

It would be stupid to not address the fact that it kind of feels like Cas is also guiding him to the rest of his life, too.

Like.. _his_ life.

Him.

 _Dean_ Alexander Winchester; minus all the bells and whistles of his last name that constantly cloak him from the outside world.

Yea, it'd be really stupid, indeed. So he does what any sane person would do in his position- he squeezes, holding on with every single thing he's got.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap you guys. I am honestly so freaking blown away by your response to the last update. I mean, I was left completely speechless and in _awe_ by each kind word- by your excitement and eagerness to know what happens next. So as always, thank you, so so.. _so_ much, and I hope you continue to enjoy it!  <3


	47. Chapter 47

Cas is so hot he feels like he's dying.

But he's not entirely sure it's _solely_ due to being thrust around in a sweaty, smelly, jam-fucking-packed mosh pit as much as it's that he's pinned between two bodies.

More so, one body in particular.

Dean's.

Every intake of breath, every flex or ripple of muscle, Cas can feel to his very core because they're pressed so tightly together, his back is perfectly flush to Dean's chest.

And with the way Dean has a protective arm wound around his waist, the thin, damp excuses for their t-shirts are doing little to leave anything to the imagination.

He heaves, mind swarming as the lights flicker again, immediately being followed by a crack of thunder.

"Are you okay?" Dean asks, lips brushing along the shell of his ear so as to be heard over the music.

A shiver runs down his spine and he turns his head slowly, causing Dean's nose to bump his temple. He nods.

"Okay," Dean smiles against his skin, and Cas doesn't know if he's just delirious from the heat or not, but he could have sworn that that was a kiss he just felt.

.

Fuck fuck.. _fuck_ \- Cas feels so good.

Like, insanely good.

Dean already knew that Cas was more on the slender side, what with how his clothes hang from him and their previous hugs.

But this is way different than a hug.

Because now there isn't a hoodie between them and he can actually  _feel_  exactly how taught and..  _lithe_ Cas is.

How firm yet, _soft_.. and  _squishy_  he is.

It's fucking with Dean's brain and every time Cas gets pushed into him, he has to refrain from wrapping his lips around the glistening juncture of his neck and shoulder.

He's already kissed the side of his cheek, which was probably a bad idea, seeing that now all he wants to do is get his mouth everywhere.

He wants to taste more of Cas' sweet skin.

And he's not saying that in a creepy way or whatever, he means it literally. Cas is fucking _sweet_.

Like, how is that even possible? The dude is _sweating freaking buckets_ and Dean's not even sure who's is who's anymore but- damn.

He wants more.

.

Cas is about two seconds away from turning around in Dean's arms and laying one on him.

A kiss, that is.

Because Dean keeps squeezing his hip with every new roll of the crowd, and it's making his nervous system totally fucking fritz.

He's on _fire_.

He is tingling from head to toe and if Dean doesn't-

The lights flicker again.

Then, darkness.

Promptly proceeding a deafening halt of every electronic device shutting down within the couple thousand square foot area, which echoes around them with a screech close to what Cas imagines the Titanic sounded like losing power.

Silence falls.

A lull lasting one beat.. two.

Then-

Complete chaos breaks out.

And the only thing he's aware of are two firm hands gripping his sides, a warm press of lips to his ear. "Don't move. Let everyone else get out first."

Cas nods, heart hammering in his chest.

 _This cannot be happening_.

 _Oh my god, oh my god. This cannot be_ -

As soon as the generators kick on, staffers come around with flashlights, and Cas sees that they weren't the only ones smart enough to to stay in place.

Dean takes his hand and begins to pull him towards the emergency exit, a noble sort of dominance about him that makes Cas' stomach swarm with butterflies.

Once they get outside, Cas brings his free hand up to shield his eyes from the onslaught of rain all but pelting from the skies.

He had no idea it was this bad out here.

Like, this is _bad_.

Severe.

Downed power lines and uprooted trees severe.

They run to Dean's truck, dropping each others' hands right before climbing in, and when they do, Dean shakes his head briskly, wiping at his face.

" _Holy shit_ ," he breathes.

"I know," Cas agrees, shivering with a clack of teeth as a chill rips through him. "Do you think we'll be able to make it home okay?"

"I dunno," Dean says, shoving the key into the ignition, making the wipers spring furiously to life. "This is fucking crazy."

A slight tremor of fear also worms it's way into Cas, and he fastens his seat belt as a wave of anxiety makes the hair on his arms stand on end. "Um, I'm kinda.."

He trails off, not really sure how to finish that sentence without sounding as scared as actually he is, but when Dean looks over, he just nods in understanding. "I think I seen a hotel a few blocks over. Maybe we should just crash here tonight and hopefully it will be clear by tomorrow."

Cas swallows, heart thumping wildly in his chest again. ".. okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: so I totally got caught up in the moment and during editing completely overlooked a few sentences that were phrased in a way that contradicted previous scenarios. If you happened to open the chapter before I could delete it and fix the error, I'm sorry! Agh! Deepest apologies, but it should be all in the clear now. (this is what happens when I get so excited to post and am Tired Dot Com) : D


	48. Chapter 48

It is literally no surprise at all that when they pull into the parking lot of the hotel, it's full.

Cas wonders idly if they'll even be able to get a room, working his stomach into knots while Dean reaches behind his seat, and rummages around before retrieving a gym bag.

"There should be some clean stuff in here," he says with a smile, easing some of Cas' anxiety.

"I think at this point, I'd wear it even if it wasn't," Cas deadpans, ready to get the hell out of this storm, and into _some_ sort of safety.

Which ends up being in the form of an executive suite, as it's the only thing left.

Cas _almost_ protests, because it costs twice as much as a regular room, but Dean quickly shuts him down with a _'don't worry about it, I'll just use my card'_ and a look that says not to push it.

So, he doesn't.

Because truth be told, he's tired.

He is so tired and just, _exhausted_. In every way.

It's been a long, really fucking crazy, emotionally packed day and he's ready to just, let it end.

It is nearly midnight, anyway, so that shouldn't be very hard to do.

.

Alright, so, the only thing inside Dean's gym bag is two t-shirts and a pair of sweatpants.

"Uh," he says, feeling around like something else is going to magically appear. "Shit."

"It's fine," Cas says, plucking one of the shirts from his hand, then turns to make for the bathroom.

"You don't want these?" Dean asks, holding up the sweatpants, a frown etched into his brow because he knows Cas has got to be freezing.

Cas shakes his head. "You paid for the room. You wear 'em."

Dean rolls his eyes. "For real? Cas, just take them."

"No," Cas says, before shutting the door and leaving Dean to stare after him.

Well, okay, then.

.

Cas wasn't planning on taking a shower, because it's probably a really stupid idea to do so, but, being that they're in one of the nicest rooms the hotel has to offer, the bathroom is like.. deluxe.

The tiles are sparkling and he swears the floor is heated.

So, he decides that a quick rinse won't hurt.

Once shucking his heavy, wet clothes to throw them over the heater lining the window, he climbs in behind the silky curtain and actually groans when the water hits him.

 _Perfection_.

.

So, that's definitely the shower. Which definitely means Cas is in there, naked. And it definitely means that Dean's brain sort of.. shorts out.

He pulls his clothes off, totally distracted by the sound of rushing water, and is thankful to find that his boxers are only mildly damp in some spots.

He slips into his thin Camp t-shirt and worn sweatpants; which are missing the drawstring, as well as have a small tear in the knee.

Then, he waits. Back against the pillows, eyes glued unseeingly to the static laden tv.

.

One of the grosser things Cas has ever had to do in his life is take a blow dryer to his underwear, but, there's no way he's going out there with his dick hanging free because that's just.. no.

He hits his hair once he's done with them, and it ends up frizzing just like it does in humidity. _Great_.

He briefly contemplates running it under the water again, but he knows he's already been in here for a really long time. Shit, what if Dean wanted to get in.

God, he is such an ass.

He hurries to throw his clothes on- well, _Dean's_ shirt- which has.. he looks down, then at the reflection in the mirror, smiling at what he sees.

It's the standard WHS Varsity tee that they give all the players, but the print has begun to peel and fade.

He runs a hand over it, reveling in the feel as well as the fact that he never in a million years would have guessed he'd be in this position.

Life sure has a wild way of throwing you curve balls.

He opens the door, stomach swooping at the way Dean is nestled under the covers and glances away from the tv, visibly swallowing upon seeing him.

It's an image he'd like to remember forever.

.

Dean swallows, heart skipping about five beats before getting lodged in his throat.

Cas ruffles the back of his hair, hovering in the doorway. "Did you wanna.."

"Oh, um, no. I'm good," Dean says, unable to look anywhere other than at Cas, as he is wearing only _his_ shirt and a pair of snug, black boxer briefs.

"Okay," Cas concedes, flipping the light off before crossing the room, and climbing into the other side of the bed.

He scoots right up beside Dean, regardless that they're on a king size mattress, then pulls the blanket up around his shoulders, shivering as he does so.

"You should have taken the pants," Dean says, no heat whatsoever to his words, because he's too busy marveling at the sensation of Cas being so close, in such a drastically different situation than they're used to.

"I'm not taking your pants, Dean," Cas side eyes, relaxing back into the pillows.

Dean huffs, cataloging Cas' profile for a moment longer before turning to the tv again, then changes the channel when it inevitably begins to pixelate.

.

Cas yawns, the half eaten granola bar in his hand going forgotten for a few seconds as he lets his eyes flutter shut.

Dean made a snack run to the vending machines a little while ago, and though there may not have been much to choose from, Cas was so hungry he tore into the stale chips and hard gummies like he'd been starved for years.

Dean laughed, thrusting a water at him and told him not to choke.

Now; he's hydrated, full, warm and so comfy he's sure he's about to fall asleep sitting up.

So he drops his granola bar on the night stand, then shimmies down the mattress until he's laying on his side, tugging the covers up to his chin as another yawn wracks through him.

Dean shifts, jostling the bed, then Cas hears the channel change again- this time stopping on something that sounds like French.

Cas assumes it's a commercial, and just keeps his eyes closed, waiting for it to end. But then when it's still going a couple minutes later, he frowns, cracking one eye open to peek at the blinding tv in the now dark room.

It's some old foreign film that Cas is 100% certain Dean has no clue what's going on. "Seriously?" he croaks.

"What?" Dean asks, a quiet amusement to his voice that suggests he knows _exactly_ what.

"Dean, you don't speak French."

"So."

Cas rolls his yes, then blinks up at Dean. "So then why are you watching it?"

Dean shrugs. "It's intriguing."

Now he's just being facetious. Cas untangles an arm and reaches for the remote.

But Dean is too fast for him, and he tucks it on the other side of his leg with a tsk.

"Dean, give me the remote," Cas tries for hard, but his voice is thick with that pre-sleep lilt, so it just comes out sounding whiny.

"No," Dean says, smile evident in it even if Cas wasn't glaring at him.

"Oh my god," Cas groans, pushing himself up to one hand and makes for the grab again.

Dean just laughs, holding it further out of his reach until their chests press together.

"Quit being a dick," Cas huffs, smiling in spite of himself.

"Quit being so grumpy," Dean retorts, his breath hot on the side of Cas' face.

"I'm not being grumpy," Cas says, turning his head to look at Dean straight on.

And, wow. They are really close.

"Yea you are," Dean murmurs, smile not as prominent now that they're all but nose to nose.

"Nu uh," Cas says, no more than a whisper.

There's a moment of silence, like neither of them are sure how to proceed, but then Dean clears his throat, and looks Cas directly in the eye. "Is it cool if I kiss you?"

Butterflies rush through Cas and he nods, already leaning forward when Dean tips his chin to capture his bottom lip.

And- fuck.

It's so perfect.

From the second their lips touch, Cas knows that this is how it was supposed to be. That this should have been his first kiss, and that Dean should have been the one delivering it.

He exhales in a rush, relaxing into it just as the remote hits the floor with a thud. Then, Dean's hands are on either side of his face, cradling it like he's the most delicate thing in the universe, but also holding him with such reverence it shakes him to his very core.

" _Fuck_ ," Dean breathes against his mouth, before pressing another fervent kiss to it.

Cas smiles, unable to help himself, and pushes back, parting his lips so as to welcome Dean's tongue when it licks past them.

He's swimming- every single one of of senses totally alight with an adrenaline he's almost convinced is being infused with the electricity from the storm outside.

It emboldens him, and he lifts himself up more, swinging a leg around so he can slip into Dean's lap.

Dean grins, nipping at his bottom lip before letting his hands fall from Cas' face to wrap around, then cling under his shoulder blades instead.

Cas winds his fingers through Dean's hair, cupping the back of his head as he tilts his own, opening his mouth again in invitation.

Which is accepted in vigor.

.

Dean digs his fingers into the soft flesh of Cas' back, relishing the way it makes him hum in return.

He never knew it could feel like this. That just _kissing_ someone could feel so good.

But, every time Cas smiles against his lips or makes a small, breathy noise, it prompts a fresh wave of fuzzy adrenaline to jolt through him and knocks him right on his figurative ass.

Cas' shirt is bunching under his hands, so he slips them beneath it, sliding the pads of his fingertips over the smooth skin and swallows the sound that Cas supplies him with as a result.

He takes that as a cue to keep going, and does, until he's helping Cas get it up over his head.

Then, Cas reaches down to grab the hem of _his_ shirt, and does the same.

.

Cas blinks up at Dean, after having just been flipped onto his back, and grins at the way Dean is regarding him.

"What?" he asks when Dean continues to stare- like he's trying to see into his soul.

"You're gorgeous," Dean says with such conviction that it makes Cas flush.

He covers his face with his hands to hide it.

 _Oh my god_.

Dean snorts, pulling one of his hands away. "Are you blushing?"

"No."

"Dude. You're _blushing_."

"Fuck off."

Dean laughs, loud and long, then dips down to kiss the corner of his mouth. "Not a chance in hell."

Cas huffs, glancing to the side because it's too hard to look directly at Dean, too hard to not feel the weight of the promise those words so obviously carry.

Dean takes advantage of the new angle and kisses along Cas' neck, latching on just below his ear, and smiles when Cas moans.

He keeps moving lower; peppering chaste kisses, nips, and flat-tongued licks the entire way.

Then, he's hovering above Cas' navel, green eyes so blown there's only a sliver of it visible from under his lashes. "Is this okay?" he whispers.

Cas sucks in a shuddering breath, and nods.

Dean grins, like he'd just been given permission to do something that no one else in the entire world has ever been allowed to do, and hooks his fingers under the elastic band of Cas' underwear.

Cas shivers, and lifts his hips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick heads up: I won't be able to post for a few days as I am going to the convention this weekend, so, just know that that's the reason for such a long gap in between updates. And, as always, thank you so so _so_ much for every single exclamation point and word of encouragement/kindness. It's super appreciated and I am entirely thankful/continually flabbergasted by them! : )


	49. Chapter 49

"You can touch me, you know," Dean says, pulling off long enough to get the words out. "Or move."

It's not that Cas isn't being receptive, it's just that.. he kinda seems like he doesn't know what to do with his hands. Almost like he's scared to do something and come off as pushy.

"Okay," Cas whispers, blinking down at him with a dopey look that goes straight to his dick.

 _Fuck, he is so hot_.

Then, because he can't help himself, he asks, "Does this feel okay?"

I mean, it _is_ his first time doing this and all, so if anything, he wants to make sure he's doing a decent job.

Cas nods. "Yea, it's good."

The slur in his words makes Dean smile, and he preens. "Okay, cool. Cause ah, I've never done this before, so."

"Me neither," Cas says, causing Dean to smile even wider.

"Serious?"

"Yea," Cas huffs, a crooked quirk to his lips.

"Awesome," Dean breathes, before closing his mouth around Cas again.

Cas hums, and from there on out, it's all frantic thrusts and desperate fingers knotting in his hair.

He grins, taking it with everything he's got.

.

_bzz bzz bzz, bzz bzz bzz_

Cas snorts, being lured from his dream.

_bzz bzz bzz, bzz bzz bzz_

He cracks an eye open, and is met with complete darkness.

_bzz bzz bzz, bzz bzz-_

"Hello?" he croaks, pressing the phone to his ear once he pulls it from the side table.

A warm breath puffs against the back of his neck.

"Dean?" John asks, and Cas immediately stiffens.

"Uhm, no-" he starts, just as Dean rasps from behind him, "Who is it?"

Cas flushes, a high pitched ring forming in his ears that's so loud he doesn't hear himself say, "Your dad."

"Oh," Dean huffs, totally nonplussed, and blindlessly feels for the phone as Cas holds it out to him- like he didn't just get caught in bed with another guy.

 _By his dad_.

Cas assumes that it's because he's still half asleep, and hasn't quite processed the situation yet, so it's undoubtedly only a matter of time before realization hits.

And- shit.

 _Shit shit shit_.

Cas slips from beneath the covers, out from Dean's grasp, and shuffles his way to the bathroom so he can get dressed and be ready to go when Dean's finished.

John is probably going to flip.

And that possibility alone has Cas' stomach squeezing uncomfortably.

 _Fuck_.

.

"Dean, where the hell are you? I've been trying to call you all night," John asks as soon as he's got the phone, but he frowns, because Cas is getting up, and he doesn't want Cas to get up. He wants him to stay here, in his arms.

 _Maybe he's just gotta pee_.

"We're still in Riverton, didn't you get my text?" Dean says, looking towards the bathroom even though he can't see a damn thing, can only see the thin line of light coming from the bottom of the door.

"No," John says. "Did you get caught in that storm?"

"Yea," Dean yawns. "It knocked the power out at the concert so we just found a hotel instead of trying to drive back."

"So you're okay?"

"Yea, dad, we're fine."

"Alright, then," John pauses for a moment. "Are you still planning on playing tomorrow?"

"Yea. I told Coach I would, so."

"Okay, son. I'll let you get back to sleep, or, whatever it-"

Dean groans, face heating. " _Dad._ "

"What, son. I don't know what you two are doing. Nor do I care to know, just-" he pictures John shaking his head to clear his thoughts. "Be safe, alright? I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay," Dean says, ignoring the way that last bit implies more than just one thing.

"Night, Dean."

"Goodnight, dad."

.

Cas wasn't eavesdropping, he was just waiting for it to get quiet enough to suggest that Dean was off the phone.

And when that happens, he finally opens the door.

.. to find Dean sitting up against the headboard with the bedside lamp on.

His face falls when he sees Cas.

 _Oh no_.

.

Okay, so, Cas _didn't_ have to pee.

Dean's heart sinks and he tries to control his expression. Tries to act like the fact that Cas is standing there fully dressed isn't serving to be as effective as a swift punch to the gut.

_Fuck. He wants to leave. He regrets what-_

"I'm uh.." Cas starts to say, wrapping an arm around himself as his eyes dart from Dean to the floor. "I'm sorry for answering your phone."

Dean does a double take. What?

"Um.. it's fine?" he says, words drawn out because he is really confused by Cas' sudden change in demeanor.

"No, it's not," Cas urges, eyes wide like he's about to start crying. _What the hell?_ "Your dad.." he trails off, making Dean frown deeper.

"What about him?"

"He-" Cas stops, winding both arms around himself now. " _I answered your phone_ , Dean."

The storm must have launched them into another dimension because Dean doesn't have the first fucking clue as to what Cas is going on about.

"Yea, and?"

Cas looks at him like he's lost his mind. "And he knows we were in bed together."

Oh.

 _OH_.

That's when it dawns on him.

Cas never got to hear that part of the story when he was relaying the conversation he had with his dad- partly to do with how he _may_ have initially breezed over it, as a large chunk of it included Cas himself, but mostly because he fell asleep on Cas' couch before he could even consider circling back to it.

Dean sighs, feeling like a major ass for letting Cas think that there's some huge impending doom out there in the form of John Winchester.

"He knows."

Cas blinks. "What?"

"He _knows_ , Cas."

".. knows _what_?"

"That I'm bi. And that I have feelings for you."

"He does?" Cas says, visibly wracked by this admission, as if it wasn't already obvious. Pfft.

Dean huffs again, a small smile joining it. "Yea. He's cool with it."

"He is?"

 _Jesus_ , he is so freaking cute. "Uh, yea. You think he would have acted the way he did yesterday if he wasn't?"

Cas shrugs, working his bottom lip between his teeth. "I guess not."

"Will you come back to bed? Please?"

Cas watches him for a beat, then starts unbuttoning his pants.

When he lifts the blanket to climb in beside Dean again, he pauses, a smile creasing the corners of his eyes. "You're still naked?"

"Well, yea," Dean laughs.

Cas hesitates, then tugs his shirt over his head and drops his underwear as well. "It's only fair," he says when Dean gawks at him.

"C'mere," Dean murmurs, grabbing Cas by the wrist to pull him down to the mattress, thus causing the room to fill with laughter as they fall into an awkward tumble of limbs.

He chases Cas' kiss, grinning up at blue eyes that are staring down at him like he's their whole world, and knows that this is it for him.

Cas is it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just kidding! Had time for one more! :D


	50. Chapter 50

Cas wishes he could find it in himself to be embarrassed for drooling all over Dean's chest, but he can't, because Dean is carding his fingers through his hair and it feels so fucking good that everything but the warm, tingling sensation in both his scalp, as well as the rest of his body, is moot.

"Good morning," Dean murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead.

He smiles, nuzzling further into Dean's hold. "Morning."

They're quiet for a few moments; just listening to the sound of each others' breathing, the gentle rain outside the window, the low hum of the mini fridge.

Then, Dean clears his throat lightly. "This feels really good."

"It does," Cas agrees, tracing a finger over the smooth skin of Dean's pec. His tan is fading, so Cas can only assume that he's stopped frequenting the tanning beds as much, if not completely.

"So, um," Dean pauses, like he's searching for the right words. "Are we.. uh, you know.."

Cas lifts his head, a fresh wave of endearment slamming into him with mac force as he takes in Dean's slightly flushed cheeks, the puffiness of his eyes, and the way his hair is flat on the side, but sticking up in the front.

"Together?" he asks, when Dean doesn't continue.

"Yea, together."

"Is that what you want?" And, _oh god_ \- why is his heart suddenly beating so fast? What if Dean isn't ready for that yet? Fuck, what if _he_ isn't ready for that yet? As much as he wants it, he's never been in a relationship before so he doesn't know the first-

"Yea. I do."

Cas blinks. "You do?"

"Well, yea.." Dean huffs. "I thought that was pretty obvious."

Butterflies swell in Cas' stomach, making him dizzy, because regardless of the last 24 hours, or even the last week- _the last two weeks_ , this is happening. This. Right here, right now, is happening.

"So do I," he says, barely containing himself.

"You do?"

He nods, smiling. "I though that was pretty obvious."

Dean snorts, trailing a hand up his arm to cradle his face, then pulls him in for a kiss.

Morning breath be damned.

.

Cas, is his boyfriend.

 _Cas Novak_ is his boyfriend.

Dean can't stop mentally reciting different variations of this sentence the entire way home.

Not when he reaches over to take Cas' hand in his.

Not when Cas smiles and twines their fingers together.

Not even when he leans in for a kiss as he drops Cas off and they say goodbye.

He can't stop marveling over the fact that Cas Novak, is his _boyfriend_.

.

Alright, so. He is dating Dean Winchester.

Dean Winchester is his.. boyfriend.

He shakes his head again, trying to dispense some form of cohesive thought into his brain because the only thing it seems to be stuck on is that _Dean Winchester_ is _his boyfriend_.

He sits, fidgeting as he stares out the kitchen window, then sighs, stands back up, and goes into the living room again.

Where, ultimately, he sits, fidgeting some more.

.

"I'm glad you're home, son," John says as soon as Dean walks through the door, wrapping him up in another one of those big bear hugs.

He huffs, returning it in kind. "Me too."

"Is Cas alright?" John asks, pulling away.

"Yea, he's good."

His dad opens his mouth like he's about to ask something else, but thinks better of it at the last minute and snaps it shut- which Dean is eternally grateful for when he remembers their phone call early this morning.

The tips of his ears begin to heat and he makes an excuse about wanting to shower before he has to leave for the game.

John doesn't question it, so Dean runs upstairs as quickly as he can, and when he's finally alone in his room, he figures that a shower probably isn't a half bad idea after all.

.

Cas manages to pace about every square foot of his house before he decides that he's just going to do it.

He's going to go to his first, and _last_ , football game ever.

Not just because Dean seemed really reluctant to go himself, but because Cas feels like he needs to be there.

Like maybe his presence will help Dean somehow.

It has nothing to do with how the super fresh and incredibly new title of _boyfriend_ is literally eating a hole right through him.

Honest.

It doesn't.

He's not even that fazed by it, really.

I mean, he and Dean were pretty close already, so.

You know.

He's definitely not blushing at the mere thought of Dean staring down at him in such reverent wonder last night.

Or at how Dean felt pressed against his body; bare, pliant and warm.

 _Or_ , because of the giant, not at all concealable hickey on the side of his neck showcasing to the world _We Spent The Night Together_.

Nope, not blushing at all.

He tugs a beanie over his ears and slips out the front door, locks it, then pockets the keys to make the short trek to school.

His heart thunders wildly the whole way there, for far more reasons than he can list, and when he gets close enough to hear the crowd chanting over the band, he has zero fucking clue as to what he's about to walk into.

It's too late to muster the faux courage he's used so many times in the past, so the only thing he can tell himself is that he's here for Dean, and nobody else.

 _Just concentrate on Dean_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap you guys thank you SO MUCH for all your comments and well wishes for the weekend! I had an absolute blast and got to see a lot of familiar faces as well as had some stellar ops/heartfelt moments. Happy to be home, and able to write again, so here's to all of you, hope you enjoy! :D


	51. Chapter 51

Dean was prepared to get shit, but what he wasn't prepared for, was to be completely _treated_ like shit.

From the second he walks into the locker room, every single one of his teammates- _ex_ teammates, give him dirty looks, mumble under their breath, pick up their stuff and go around to the other side of the lockers.

He guesses that's what's to be expected when you cost the Varsity team their star Quarterback senior year, and are leaving yourself, though.

But Brendan brought this upon himself. And he is _done_ living everyone else's lives.

The fact that people obviously know _something_ is going on between he and Cas could also be another reason for their behavior, and he tries not to let that bother him.

Because while he can take someone being an asshole, someone being a homophobe, he cannot.

His shoulders slump as a gross funk works it's way into his muscles, and he frowns at his open gym bag.

Fuck.

He should have just _asked_ Cas to come tonight. It's not like he would've said no.

And it would be so much better if he was here.

I mean, Dean could always text him but- no. His car is broke.

It's stupid and selfish to ask him to come when he doesn't even have a way to get here.

Swallowing the vile that rises in the back of his throat, Dean lifts his shirt over his head, then goes about preparing to gear up.

 _At least this is the last time_.

.

Cas doesn't actually go up into the stands, but instead hovers near the bottom of them, just beside the fence where the less traveled walkway is.

He had gotten a of couple odd stares on his way in, and figured it was best to remain as out of sight as possible.

He has a good view of the field though, and keeps his eyes trained on number 53. Because as much as Dean would rather not play, he's graceful as fuck, so it's really hard to look at anything but him.

He could have _easily_ gotten a full ride to any college of his choice, without the pull of his dad's help, and had it made for the rest of his life.

Cas ignores the slight pang of guilt he feels at that thought. Not so much from the football aspect of it, but more so just the image of college and where Dean wants to go from here.

The last thing he wants is to to weigh Dean down, (lord knows he's got enough baggage to do it) so even though they've briefly talked about their goals and aspirations, it was never in enough detail for Cas to have a full understanding of just what exactly it is Dean is working towards.

Hell, he doesn't even know what _he's_ working towards anymore. What with how everything has been so totally upended, in every single sense of the word.

Because while before he was merely counting off the days until he could leave this town, now he's counting the number of days he has to look forward to spending with Dean.

.

Dean gets blasted again, this time by Delaney, and almost loses his footing. He pants through the sharp pain in his side, doing his best to shake it off, along with the irritation the newest hit brings, and sighs in relief when the ref blows his whistle.

He rips his helmet off as he jogs over to the benches, then snatches his water bottle up before he can second guess whether it's even safe to drink or not, and chugs.

It's then that a familiar figure catches the corner of his eye, and he stops.

 _No fucking way_.

He lowers the bottle, smile splitting his face.

Cas waves, looking more out of his element than Dean has ever seen, but it does absolutely _nothing_ to quell the overwhelming burst of fondness that wracks him from his sweaty hair all the way down to his achy toes.

Cas is here.

For him.

 _He's here_.

.

Cas pushes away from the beam supporting the stands, and slowly approaches the short fence separating the field from the crowd.

The silence that falls behind him the moment he steps out of the shadows is almost deafening, and from the way Dean keeps glancing over his shoulder, he knows they've got an audience.

"Hey," Dean says in genuine, although elated surprise. He loosely laces their fingers when Cas rests his hand on the pole. "What are you doing here?"

Cas huffs, face burning from not only the way Dean is so blatantly holding his hand for everyone to see, but from how he can actually _feel_ hundreds of eyes boring into the back of his skull.

"Moral support."

Dean grins impossibly wider. "I'm glad you came."

Cas ducks his head, biting his bottom lip through a smile. "Me too."

"Dean!" Coach Rourke shouts, snapping both of their attentions to him. "Get your ass back in the game!"

Right.

Cas flushes, as the barking order only brought even _more_ eyes to draw on them.

That doesn't stop Dean from leaning in to kiss him though- much too soft and tender to be witnessed by those who are undoubtedly watching it like it's a car crash.

"Wait for me, okay?"

Cas nods, the movement numb and stilted. "Okay."

Dean goes in for one more quick peck before thrusting himself away from the fence and running back onto the field, re-applying his helmet as he goes.

Coach slaps him on the butt with his clipboard when he passes, and Cas just sort of stands there in a daze for a minute, totally unable to move, and _entirely_ unwilling to face the crowd.

He's not ready for what he may see.

So when he does eventually turn, and make his way back to his safe little space out of the spotlight, he does so with his eyes firmly planted on the ground.

He's never been so thankful for the loud rush of blood all but roaring in his ears before, because if the way Dean's team gawked at them was anything to go by, he's not so sure he'd be ready to hear what everyone was saying, too.


	52. Chapter 52

Dean tells himself that the next time he gets slammed, he's just going to walk off the field.

Because the whole reason he's even here right now is to help the team stand a chance at winning, so if they're going to throw the game away anyway, then, what's the point?

There are people on their feet in the stands, staring down at the complete insanity that is him getting pummeled by his own damn teammates, and Cas- well, Cas is watching on with an angry sort of concern that makes Dean's stomach twist.

Which, is already enough to have Dean taking a step towards him, so when Jake comes in for his side, yet again, he knows his decision is made.

"You know what," he gasps, reaching up to unbuckle his chin strap. "Fuck this."

Jake blinks at him, straightening. "What are you doing?"

"I'm gonna go hang out with my boyfriend," Dean spits, dropping his helmet to the plush turf. "Which is what I should have been doing in the first place instead of trying to help you douchebags."

Jake scoffs. " _Help us_? If costing us the season is considered helping, then, sure, you go with that."

Dean rolls his eyes. "Brendan brought this shit on himself. And me? I'm done living for everyone else, so."

With that, he spins, tugging his jersey up over his gear as he goes, and drops that to the turf, too- all the while keeping his eyes trained on the grinning blue ones staring back at him.

.

"That was so fucking hot," Cas says against Dean's mouth, smiling when Dean shuffles him back to the wall just outside the locker rooms.

"Yea?" Dean asks, catching his bottom lip.

Cas nods, humming, then goes in for a peck. "Very."

"So I should go shower and we can-"

Cas nods again, more urgently this time. "My house."

Dean grins. "Okay."

.

Dean is sure to get checked out by the nurse before leaving school grounds, and is very happy to learn he doesn't have any cracked ribs, only some light bruising.

He also touches base with John, who to literally no surprise of anyone, is furious; at not only how the team reacted to his departure, but Coach's lack of intervention as well.

But, it's all water under the bridge now, as Dean weaves his fingers between Cas', gives a final glance to the crowd/field, sighs a heavy breath of relief that he's never going to have to feel that pressure, ever again, then leaves.

.

Cas is positive that watching Dean strip himself of his helmet and jersey in the middle of a game, then walk off the literal fucking field while flipping his entire team, as well as his Coach the middle finger will remain one of the single hottest things he will ever see in his lifetime.

It's been nearly an hour since it happened, and he's still stuck on it, even though the urgency has died down- it's like a loop playing over and over again in his mind.

So, when they _finally_ get to his house, and Dean makes to hang a left into the living room, he isn't having any of it, and catches Dean's wrist to guide him towards the stairs instead.

"Oh?" Dean asks from behind him, a curious amusement in his voice that makes Cas smile.

"Yep."

.

Alright, so.. yea, Dean's heart is beating all kinds of crazy and stuff, but it's not exactly from _nerves_ nerves.

Okay- maybe a little bit of nerves, but it's mostly from excitement. Because as many times as they've hung out here, he hasn't been upstairs yet.

And upstairs, is Cas' room. And _Cas' room_ is possibly the most elusive thing about him.

Dean has wondered for a while what it looks like, so you can only imagine that when Cas steps aside, holding the door open for him to enter, all he can do is gape.

 _Holy shit_.

.

"What?" Cas says, suddenly way more self-conscious than he knows he has any reason to be.

"This is not at all what I was expecting."

Cas huffs. "And what exactly was it that you were expecting?"

"Uh.." Dean looks around in obvious shock, his eyes wide and mouth slack as he takes in the light space littered with books and mixed pieces of framed obscure art. "Black. And dark. Maybe like a ton of posters all over the walls and clothes everywhere."

"So basically you thought I'd be a slob."

Dean snorts, making his way to the wall opposite Cas' bed. "Did you take all these?"

Cas comes up behind him and stops just short of his shoulder. He nods. "Yea. These one's are from an old Polaroid."

He's not the least bit prepared for the sheer adoration in Dean's expression, as well as his tone, so it winds him when he says, "These are really good, Cas."

Cas ducks his head, flushing. "Thank you."

"I'm serious," Dean persists. "This is like. Holy shit," he reaches out to gingerly touch the corner of one of the many photos tacked to the wall gallery style. "I had no idea."

Cas shrugs, that slightly infuriating self-consciousness seeping into his stance again. "It's just a hobby."

Dean turns on him. "Dude. No. This is not just a hobby. This is like.. _your calling_. What the fuck," he huffs, looking back at the wall. "I can't believe- hey," he stops, like he just thought of something. "Will you take mine?"

"What?" Cas blinks.

"Take my picture."

"I don't really-"

"C'mon, Cas," Dean sing-songs, grabbing his arm to swing in emphasis. "I have faith in you. Take my picture."

Cas rolls his eyes, smile already pulling at his cheeks. "I'm not a photographer, Dean."

"Uh, yea.. ya are."

"No I'm no-"

"Please?" Dean says, in a way that he clearly knows Cas can not or will not deny.

"Fine," Cas sighs, walking over to retrieve the Polaroid from his dresser. "Don't laugh if it doesn't turn out, though."

"I won't," Dean smiles. "Just tell me what to do."

"I don't know. I never, you know, _stage_ things, so-"

"Here. How about I-" Dean says, going over to his bed to perch on the edge of it.

He then proceeds to configure himself into the cliche Thinking Man pose, which only makes Cas laugh, but upon doing so, Dean  _himself_ starts laughing and-

"That's it," Cas says in a rush, dropping to one knee. "Don't move."

The quick click and whir of the shutter mechanics fill the sudden silence that fall around them, and when the picture spits out, Cas sets the camera on the floor beside him, then settles back onto his heels to shake the photo as it develops.

Dean watches him, much in the same manner he had the night before, and it makes a warm tingle shoot down his spine.

"How'd it turn out?" Dean asks quietly, licking his lips.

Cas pauses his ministrations long enough to make out the dark lines of Dean's features and his heart flips. " _Fuck_ ," he breathes.

"That bad?" Dean tries to joke, but his voice is off so Cas glances up.

And just-

Ugh.

How did he even get here?

How is this an actual event that is happening in his sorry excuse for a life?

How does he have Dean, _Gods' Gift To Mankind_ Winchester sitting on his bed looking at him like _that_?

"No. You just.. fuck. You're so beautiful, I can't-"

Dean flushes. "Um, you have looked in the mirror before, right?" he tries to divert the compliment, and it only half works.

"Yea but we're not talking about me right now, are-"

"Let me take yours."

"What?" Cas stares at him.

Dean shrugs, cheeks still a soft pink. "Let me take one of you."

"Why?"

Dean actually snorts at that. "Why? _Dude_. You're a total babe," he says like Cas should already _know_ this. "It's a shame there isn't more documentation on the matter, actually. The world needs to see Cas.." he pauses, then huffs. "Shit. I don't know your middle name."

"Adrian," Cas supplies with a smile.

".. Cas _Adrian_ Novak- thank you. And I, for one, would really like to have a picture of my super hot boyfriend to like, put by my bed or something."

Cas snorts, tossing his head back in laughter as a thrill of overwhelming joy spirals through him so intense, that he doesn't notice Dean sliding off the bed until he's kneeling right in front of him with the camera in hand.

But before Cas can protest or even think about shying away, Dean presses the button, sounding the tiny, mechanical click to signal that the moment has already been captured.

"Perfect," Dean murmurs, ducking in to kiss Cas' still laugh-pinched face, thus successfully amping up the overwhelming joy to about 50 decibals higher than it was previously.

Yea. Perfect, indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man I am so excited to have finally gotten to this scene! I've been looking forward to it for SO LONG. That being said, this chapter is a bit longer than my usual, and as I had noted before when someone commented on the length of them, I get overwhelmed pretty easily with _too much_ going on as I'm kinda sorta slightly dyslexic. *ahem* So! any mistakes, I apologize wholeheartedly, and as always, I thank you for your excitement/kind words/squeeing, and hope you continue to enjoy!  <3


	53. Chapter 53

_Don't stare_ , Dean chastises himself.

Although, it's _really_ freaking hard to do when Cas' mouth is around his dick, working him languidly with a hand just beneath it; keeping a slow, torturous pace.

The only light in the room is coming from the small lamp beside Cas' bed, which is shining down on them where they're still compiled on the floor.

He cards his fingers through Cas' hair- frizzy and wild from the beanie he was wearing earlier, and smiles when he gets a hum in response.

Cas looks up from under his lashes, then pulls off with a gentle _pop_. "You okay?" he whispers, lips swollen, parted and pink.

Dean nods, chest heaving slightly as Cas continues stroking him. "Yea. I'm ah-" he huffs. "You're really good at that."

Cas smirks, bowing his head ever so briefly before resuming eye contact. "Thank you. But I literally have no idea what I'm doing."

Dean snorts, lips curling up in a crooked, goofy grin. "Could'a fooled me."

"Flattery," Cas laughs, dipping down to lick the underside.

"Yea, well.."

"You'll tell me if you don't like something, though, right?"

"Highly doubt that will happen, but, yea, sure."

"Okay," Cas smiles, pressing a kiss just above his thumb before resuming his position.

Dean groans, tipping his head back against the carpet as Cas swallows around him again, and thinks to himself that if he gets to have this for as long as he's hoping he will, he'll be one lucky son of a bitch.

.

It's crazy how even though there's no frantic, pent-up boiling point to their actions tonight, that same electrifying current remains which is making every last one of Cas' neurons spring to life.

Because while he's sure that no matter what they ended up doing last night, it would have felt like the greatest sex/orgasm ever, regardless of how proficient. So the fact that all they're doing now is exchanging lazy blow jobs, and it feels just as amazing, is kind of ridiculous.

At least they're both on the same page as far as delivery goes, so Cas can't really beat himself up for being unskilled in that department.

But, judging by Dean's reaction, as well as what he's currently doing with his tongue around _Cas'_ dick, well, maybe they aren't so bad off after all.

.

"You have the cutest butt," Dean says, eyes trained on the little dimples of Cas' lower back.

"What?" Cas laughs, bending over to step into his underwear.

"Your butt," Dean points, as if Cas doesn't already know where it is. "Is really cute. Did you know you have a birthmark on your left cheek?"

Cas flushes, causing Dean to smile impossibly wider.

"I did."

"That's cute, too."

"Oh my god," Cas turns around, no doubt in attempt to hide his face as he tugs his shirt on over his head.

He's smiling, though; Dean can tell that much even from behind.

"I have one on my inner thigh," he says in attempt to even the score, pulling his own shirt on as well.

"I seen it."

Dean huffs. "Oh yea?"

"Mhm," Cas hums, glancing over his shoulder before making his way through the door. "It's cute."

Dean snorts in laughter, then sprints to catch up with Cas in the hall- only to stop him by hooking his arms around Cas' waist and begins to pepper the side of Cas' neck with kisses until Cas has dissolved into nothing more than a giggling mess of squirming limbs.

Unable to resist, Dean joins in himself; resulting in the otherwise quiet, empty house to fill with the pure, undiluted sound of _happiness_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've said it a billion times, but I'll say it yet again.. as well as continue to say it- THANK YOU! So much. :D


	54. Chapter 54

This time when Cas wakes up to the sound of a buzzing phone, he doesn't answer it, but instead just hands it over to Dean with a soft nudge.

"Huh?" Dean huffs sleepily, his cheek smooshed against Cas' shoulder.

"It's your dad," Cas groggles through a yawn.

"Oh," Dean opens one eye, just enough to see the phone, and takes it. "Hey," he says when it's to his ear.

Cas doesn't flee like before, but takes the opportunity to fully appreciate Dean in the morning after an uneventful, restful night's sleep.

He's adorable.

"Yea," Dean yawns, burrowing closer into Cas' t-shirt, successfully muffling his voice. "I don't know." Pause. "Okay."

"Here," Dean says without even looking up, holding the phone out to Cas again.

The screen is still lit, so John is obviously on the line, and Cas tries not to let the fact that his heart is caught in his throat limit him from speaking when he slowly accepts the phone, then presses it to his ear.

"Hello?" he asks uncertainly.

"Hey, Cas," John says, his tone chipper and hinting that he's been awake for a while. "Dean said you were having trouble with your car?"

Oh.

"Oh, um," he clears his throat. "Yea. It won't start."

There's some rustling on the other end. "Does it click over, or is it just silent?"

"It clicks over, but then there's just, nothing."

A shiver runs through him as Dean winds his arm around his waist, running a flat palm across his stomach as it goes.

"Alright, you boys about ready to get up for the day?" Cas smiles at the transparent hint that John clearly thinks it's time they got up, and nods, even though John can't see him.

"Yea, we were just about to."

John huffs, knowing damn well he had just woke them, but doesn't comment on it further. "Okay. I'm going to stop at the auto store, then head over. Be decent when I get there."

"Okay," Cas breathes, totally caught off guard by the myriad of emotions coursing through him. "We will be."

"See you soon," John says, before hanging up and leaving Cas to blink at the ceiling.

.

"He coming over?" Dean mumbles.

"Yea," Cas says, shifting to no doubt put the phone back on the bedside table.

Dean looks up. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Cas says way too quickly, so Dean pushes himself up.

"Hey, talk to me."

"It's nothing I just-" Cas cuts off, and Dean slips his hand free from beneath the blanket to cradle the side of Cas' face.

"I just.." Cas sighs. "I'm not used to people _caring_ , Dean."

And that, fucking wrecks him.

He leans down, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of Cas' mouth before resting his forehead against Cas'. "Not to be bossy, but ah.. you'd better start getting used to it."

Cas huffs, so he goes in for another peck.

Then another.

And continues to do so until Cas no longer seems so forlorn, but pulls a smile out of him instead.

"Let's go make breakfast," Dean says, dipping in to kiss the tip of his nose.

Cas nods, arching up to get his cheek. "Okay."

.

Write this off as yet another thing Cas never thought he'd experience in his lifetime: _John Winchester_ showing both he and Dean how to replace the starter in his hunk of junk car on a semi-cloudy, late October Sunday afternoon.

"Okay, yep, now hold this," John says to Dean, then looks over Dean's head at Cas. "Cas can you hand me that socket wrench?"

Cas does, and earns himself a proud nod/smile.

Dean grins up at him out of the corner of his eye, which only makes him flush- but not because he's embarrassed or flustered, no, it's because he's never had anyone take the actual time to do anything like this for him before.

It winds him.

So when they're finished, and John comes inside to wash his hands- only to throw a blase comment out about how well Cas takes care of the house when his cousin is gone, it damn near brings him to the brink of tears.

Dean quells them with a grounding hand to his lower back, as well as a chaste kiss to his temple, which he is entirely thankful for cause the last thing he wants to do is start crying in front of John like some over-emotional sap.

"Not to pop your bubble and bring you boys down from your high, but, Dean, don't be too long, alright? I'm sure you've got homework to catch up on," John says from the doorway on his way out.

Dean nods. "I won't be."

"Okay, well," John then turns his attention on Cas. "Don't be a stranger either, you hear?"

Cas tamps back the wetness prickling at his eyes. "Okay. And," he pauses, swallowing the lump of gratitude in his throat. "Thank you. For everything."

John huffs, ducking his head. "You're welcome, and ah, as I'm sure Dean has already mentioned, you don't have to worry about fending for yourself anymore, alright? If you need something, don't hesitate to ask. We're here for you."

_Dammit_.

Cas blinks, nodding. "I won't."

"Okay, I'll let you two say goodbye, or whatever. See you at home, Dean. And, Cas, have a good night."

With that, John shuts the door behind him- and as soon as the lock catches, Dean's arms are pulling Cas in, holding him as close as physically possible while the tears finally fall free.

He heaves, a stuttering breath clucking his tongue.

This is what family feels like.

This is what being _loved_ , feels like.


	55. Chapter 55

_[Received-Dean]_

_scale of 1 to 10 how bad is it that i already miss sleeping next to u?_

Cas smiles at his phone, and closes his notebook to nestle back against the pillows.

_[Delivered]_

_not. seeing as how i already gave up and started working on my essay again_

Almost as soon as the message sends, his phone starts vibrating, so he swipes his thumb across the screen and presses it to his ear. "Hi."

"Hey," Dean says, voice quiet and soft. "How far you get?"

"Mm, I think I'm about half done."

"That's good."

"Yea, seeing as how it's due on Thursday," Cas laughs, slipping further down the mattress.

Dean hums. "You'll finish in time."

Cas smiles again, the support of Dean's words filling him with warmth. "So how long have you been trying to fall asleep?"

"Like an hour."

"Really?"

"Yea. I miss you."

Cas bites his lip and rolls over onto his side. "I miss you too."

Dean huffs, and Cas is about to ask him what's so funny, when Dean tells him on his own. "Dude, we're gonna be one of those gross couples who make other people gag, aren't we?"

Cas snorts, the rush of endorphins that floods him making his scalp and cheeks tingle. "I think so."

"Cool," Dean drawls, a yawn snatching the end of it. "I can't wait."

"Me neither," Cas says, stifling a yawn of his own.

.

Dean is brushing his teeth when he hears a knock, then a tentative _Dean?_ from his room.

"Yea?" he asks, holding his toothbrush in his cheek.

Sammy appears in the open doorway a moment later, looking nervous, so Dean lowers the brush and turns to face him. "What's up?"

"Um, so, my Birthday is this weekend."

"It is," Dean says, wondering where this could possibly be going.

"And," Sam diverts his attention to his feet, where he's scuffing his socked toe on the white tile. "I'm having a party on Saturday."

Dean quirks a brow. He knows this. "I know. November first, just like every year."

Sam looks up and rolls his eyes. "Obviously. But-" he pauses, expression fixing into one of constipation.

Dean sighs, rolling his own eyes as he waves his toothbrush in encouragement. "Spit it out."

"Do you think Cas would want to come?"

Oh.

Dean grins.

"I mean," Sam rushes. "Can you ask him? See if he'd want to?"

"Yea, Sam, I'll ask him."

Sam visibly deflates, an almost embarrassed smile twitching at his cheeks. "Thank you."

"Of course. Though I'm sure he's gonna say yes, so, don't look so anxious."

"Really?"

And the hopefulness in Sam's voice is enough to make Dean's heart spill over with endearment. "Well, duh. Why wouldn't he?"

Sam looks down again and shrugs. "I don't know."

"He loves you, Sam. I'm positive he'll be there."

Sam does a complete 180 and beams up at him. "You think?"

Dean nods, fighting back an even larger grin. "Yep."

"Thanks, Dean."

"No problem, kiddo. Now, let me finish brushing my teeth so I can kiss my boyfriend when I see him without smelling like ass."

Sam groans, and makes a disgusted face, though there's no real malice to it. "Ew, Dean."

Dean laughs. "Oh, man, and Cas is _such_ a good kisser, too."

"Okay! I'm going!" Sam shouts, throwing his hands up as he turns to run from the room- which only makes Dean laugh harder.

".. _super_ soft lips!"

" _Gross, Dean!_ " Sam yells from the hall.

Dean snickers, popping the toothbrush back in his mouth, and marvels at how fucking happy his reflection is in the mirror.

 _About goddamn time_.

.

Cas had braced himself for an onslaught of nasty slurs and maybe even a rotten tomato or two when he walked through the school doors but, nothing happened.

So he was sure that when he rounded the corner of the main hall, a bucket of lamb's blood would pour down from the ceiling on him while everyone broke out into a chorus of hateful laughter and pointed as his vision blurred.

But-

 _Nothing happened_.

Okay, weird.

People are looking at him, sure, though not at all how he had expected.

They're almost.. thoughtful?

Curious.

Intrigued, possibly.

But regardless of what they are, Cas himself is confused as shit, and he sighs a breath of relief when he spots Dean's poised figure leaning against his shiny new locker.

"So, tell me I'm not the only one who was expecting like some huge, crazy fucking backlash or something," he says in lieu of greeting, stopping in front of Dean.

Dean glances up and smiles. "Morning to you, too, sunshine."

Cas huffs, ducking his head briefly. "Good morning."

"And, no, you weren't. But-" Dean straightens, then pulls out a folded newspaper from under his arm. "Look."

Cas squints at the front page, even though it's kind of pointless seeing as how the headline is so big and demanding.

 _Simone Falls Sweetheart Dean Winchester Shocks Crowd In More Ways Than One At His Final Game_ , it reads. And there, just underneath it, is a giant picture of he and Dean kissing.

Oh-

 _Oh god_.

Cas gasps, clasping a hand over his mouth. "That's-"

"Yea," Dean shakes his head in slight amusement, an eyebrow arched. "Us. Kissing. On the front page of the Sunday paper."

Wait.

Sunday?

"But-" Cas starts to question, and Dean just smiles, waving him off.

"I didn't find out about it until this morning when my mom asked how you were taking it. And I guess my dad thought we seen it, but were just choosing not to talk about it."

"Oh my god."

"Yea," Dean says again, folding the paper back up and taking a step closer. "How _are_ you taking it?"

The question is quiet, sincere, and just barely veiled with concern.

"It's weird," Cas answers honestly. "And kind of surreal, you know?"

Dean hums, because while he's obviously used to having his picture and name plastered all over every form of local media, it's never been in _this_ context before.

"How are _you_ taking it?" Cas asks in turn, a little nervous to hear Dean's answer.

As it's one thing to kiss a guy at a football game while riding a wave of adrenaline, but another thing entirely to have that kiss captured eternally and put into print for the _whole town_ to see.

Plus some.

 _Forever_.

Dean's eyes soften, and he takes another step forward, then reaches up to cradle the side of Cas' face. "How do you think?" he says with a smirk, brushing his thumb along Cas' bottom lip. "I'm finally free."

He leans in, capturing Cas' lip between his own, and successfully tips off an uproar of applause infused with heckling cheers.

Cas bursts into laughter- because  _what the actual fuck_ , and his grin causes their teeth to clank together, but that's okay.. as the feeling currently thundering through him makes him seem invincible, so he collapses into Dean, winding his arms around Dean's shoulders and lets himself be swept up into this moment.

Because audience or not, this.. this is for _them_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _h o l y s h i t_. You guys! Your response to the last chapter was just! AH! I legit smiled so big when each and every one of them came in and I cannot begin to thank you enough! Honestly it is such an incredible feeling and I'm so- fuck. I have no words. Thank you is all I can say. And will continue to say it til the final period is posted.  <3


	56. Chapter 56

"Oh," Dean says, swallowing his bite of pizza. "Sammy wants you to come to his Birthday party this weekend."

Cas smiles, lowering his own slice. "Yea?"

"Yea," Dean nods. "You should'a seen him this morning. You'd think he was asking someone to prom with how worked up he got himself."

Cas snorts. "Why?"

"I don't know. He thought you wouldn't want to come, or whatever," Dean says with a shrug.

"Pfft. Of course I'd want to."

"That's what I told him."

"So what time should I be there?"

"Um," Dean's face scrunches up as he thinks. "The party starts at 3? I think. But you can come over whenever you want."

"Okay," Cas grins, unable to wipe the happiness from his expression even if he were to try.

Or wanted to.

Because truth be told, he's still buzzing with the energy from their little scene earlier.

It's so fucking weird. So entirely _bizarre_ that he's somewhat convinced they've been launched into another plane of existence.

Someone actually _talked_ to him today. Like, legitimately said hello then proceeded to ask how long he and Dean have been dating for.

With zero malevolent intent whatsoever.

I mean.. _what?!_

It's freaking insanity.

No one has ever said anything to him, ever. (Aside from Asher but let's not go there) Other than the obligatory _get the fuck out of the way_ and _what are you staring at, freak?_

So he really doesn't know how to process it- doesn't know how to fully take in the fact that people are regarding him with an overall sense of equality, rather than like he's the scum of the lowest, filthiest point of the Earth.

And then he's got Dean.. sitting across from him on their ledge in the East stairwell, smiling at him with a liberating sense of unabashed love.

Whether or not he chooses to voice/categorize just _what_ kind of love that is yet, Cas is content knowing that it exists.

He can feel it, as well as see it, and for right now.. that is unequivocally enough.

.

Dean will admit he is absolutely blown away by how their fellow classmates are taking their whole.. 'coming out' thing.

Granted, it _could_ have something to do with how Brendan being gone means everyone can breathe a little easier. But, he thinks a lot of it is mostly in thanks to the article in the paper.

Because while yea, the headline and photo were obviously nothing more than a cheap ploy to grab one's attention, the story itself was heartfelt, well-written, and inspiring.

It shone a light on how the pressures of adolescence to be what is expected of them, instead of being _themselves_ , can twist and dig at a teen's self-worth; as well as affect not only their academics, but their extracurriculars/hobbies/relationships, too.

Dean hadn't realized his struggles were so transparent, but according to the real, _live_ people the journalist interviewed, they were.

To say that he feels a bit exposed at being so closely scrutinized is a vast understatement- but to also say that the near incapacitating _relief_ he feels at knowing people now understand, and for the most part support his recent changes in lifestyle is possibly the most overwhelming thing he's ever experienced, is not.

It's like he's weightless.

Like there's nothing holding him down anymore and it is intoxicating. Addicting.

So when he sees Cas standing in front of the Upcoming Events bulletin board just after 5th period, he doesn't hesitate to snake right up beside him, and wrap his arms around Cas' waist to cuddle in so he can kiss the soft spot just under Cas' ear.

Cas giggles (yes, straight up _giggles_ ) and turns into it, tilting his head so as to get Dean on the lips in return.

"Hey," he whispers against them, eyes alight in possibly the brightest shade of blue Dean has ever seen.

"Hi," Dean murmurs, accentuating it with a gentle peck.

" _Get a room!_ " someone shouts in passing, causing them both to dissolve into snorting laughter- and Dean just tosses a hand up to wave his middle finger, before going right back in for another kiss, thinking to himself all the while; _this must be what falling in love feels like_.

And-

Fuck.

He is totally in love with Cas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *stands tall on my mountain of fluffy cotton candy as my robes blow in the wind, sugary raindrops falling from the serbert colored sky* :D


	57. Chapter 57

Cas jumps, _again_ , and Dean presses his lips together to stifle his laughter.

"Shut up," Cas says, nudging Dean's thigh with his foot from where it's resting in Dean's lap.

"I didn't say anything," Dean protests, letting go of Cas' ankle to hold his hand up in defense.

"You're laughing."

"No I'm not."

Cas fixes him with a stare, and he cracks. "It's just, I didn't think watching horror movies with you would be this entertaining."

Cas groans, and throws an arm over his face before turning his head back towards the tv.

He's smiling, though- well, trying _not_ to smile, but he is regardless, so Dean wraps his hand around Cas' ankle again.

They're two movies in, and in all honestly, this is probably the most enjoyable Halloween Dean has had yet.

It sure as hell beats whatever the fuck he'd be doing with Brendan and them right now; as he'd most likely be piss drunk and plowing the closest set of legs. But instead of all that absolute nonsense, he's holed up with his adorable boyfriend who keeps getting scared every five seconds, and gorging on junk food.

It's the best.

"Do you think Sam's having fun?" Cas asks from under his arm.

"I'm sure he is," Dean says. "He seemed pretty pumped."

Sammy opted to go to his school dance in lieu of normal holiday shenanigans, so it was a no brainer that Dean and Cas made a point to fuss over him before going to Cas' for a marathon of crappy movies.

"I was kinda hoping he'd ask us to go trick or treating with him or something. I really want candy," Cas says, lowering his arm to see Dean.

Dean snorts. "You are aware that you can just, you know.. go to the store and _buy_ some, right?"

"But that defeats the purpose."

"Oh my god," Dean rolls his eyes. "You are so ridiculous."

Cas shrugs. "Yea but don't you miss the rush of finding out what's in your bag?"

"Well, _yea_ , but.. there was always shit in there I didn't like, too."

"True," Cas says, twisting his upper half to grab his soda from the coffee table, then pushes himself on an elbow to take a sip.

The light from the tv illuminates his face in a way that is eerily appropriate for the moment- the _night_ , and all Dean can do is stare, because.. fuck.

He _can_.

He grins, then snakes his fingers up Cas' pant leg to trail just above his sock when he settles back in.

Cas twitches, huffing, "that tickles."

.

"Godda- _hiccup_ -mmit," Cas whines, clutching at his chest.

He is trying _so_ hard not to laugh, but Dean keeps making faces at him and fucking _tickling_ his feet and it's not _fair_.

"Sto- _hiccup_ -p!" he squeaks, yanking his legs free.

"No way," Dean basically guffaws, an almost predatory glower on his face as he follows Cas' movement and canopies over top of him. "You sound so cute when you do that."

"Oh my god- _hiccup_ , fuck off," Cas says through a smile, flipping his hand so that his palm is lightly pressing against Dean's chest, halfheartedly pushing him away.

"Nu uh," Dean grins, lowering himself to kiss the tip of Cas' nose- the hand not holding him steady slowly moving up Cas' side, wrinkling the fabric of his shirt as it goes.

"Dean st- _hiccup_ -op," Cas pushes again, though with no real steam behind it.

"I can't," Dean says, pecking the dip in Cas' top lip. "You're too irresistible."

"You did not just- _hiccup_ ," Cas snorts, smiling against Dean's lips because that one was loud, and sounded oddly similar to a clown car horn, "-call me irresistible."

"Yes I did."

"That is so- _hiccup_. Fuck!" Cas sputters into laughter despite his best efforts to avoid it, causing yet _another_ , slightly more painful spasm.

Which prompts Dean to chime in as well. "That is so what?"

" _Cheesy_ ," Cas manages just before a hollow gasp wracks him.

Dean licks his lips. "More cheesy than me telling you how beautiful you are right now?"

" _Oh my god_ ," Cas says in a rush, turning his face to bury it in Dean's arm.

"What?" Dean huffs, and kisses his ear.

"You can't just- _hiccup_ say stuff like that."

"Why not?"

"Because it makes me- _hiccup_ feel like I can't _think_ - _hiccup_."

He can tell Dean is smiling when he goes in for another kiss, this time just a ghost of a touch on the shell of his ear, and he barely suppresses a shudder when Dean proceeds to whisper, "Well.. _welcome to my world_."

.

"These are my favorite," Dean murmurs against Cas' lips, smoothing his fingertips over Cas' sides, just under his shirt.

Cas arches his back, pressing his chest further into Dean's and shifts in his lap. "My love handles?"

Dean nods. "Yea, they're so soft. And your little stretchmarks are like, hot as fuck."

Cas snorts. "Those are cause I used to be chubby when I was younger."

Dean pulls back, then looks up into Cas' eyes. "You were?"

Cas nods, and a brief flash of sadness crosses his face before he quickly reigns it in. "In elementary. And the beginning of middle school."

No way.

Dean wishes he remembers.

Cas was probably super geeky, too. What with his love of Harry Potter and affinity for books, and all.

A slight twist of guilt wrenches at Dean's gut, so he pulls Cas closer. "I wish I remembered."

Cas quirks a shoulder, an action too blase for the topic. "You probably wouldn't have liked me then, anyways."

"Bullshit," Dean says instantly, knowing without a doubt that if he would've just given himself the chance to talk to Cas sooner, he would be just as smitten then, as he is now.

Cas smiles, but it's tinged with that same previous sadness. "You wouldn't. Honestly," he says, carding his fingers through the back of Dean's hair. "Cause it took me a really long time to accept the fact that my parents were gone, and I wasn't exactly easy to be around."

Oh.

.. oh.

"I'm sorry," Dean whispers, an overwhelming bout of emotions wrenching his heart like it's in a vice. "Are they.."

He trails off, unsure how to even form a question like that, but Cas just huffs again and shakes his head. "No, they're still alive. Well.. I think they are, at least. I haven't heard anything otherwise- but, yea.. they're," he pauses, as if he's trying to choose the right words, then ultimately, sighs. "I don't know where they are."

He's obviously omitting a pretty sizable chunk of information here, but Dean isn't going to sweat it, or get offended, because it's clearly a touchy subject, and _very_ personal, so- Cas will tell him if and when he wants to.

Dean drags his hands up Cas' back, stopping to cradle beneath his shoulder blades, and cranes his neck to kiss Cas' chin. "It's their loss."

Cas huffs. "If you say so."

"I do," Dean says in earnest, pecking the corner of Cas' mouth.

A beat passes before he adds, "hey, let's go to bed."

Because whatever mood they had been building up all evening, it has fizzled out almost completely, and the only thing Dean wants to do now is get Cas upstairs, in his pajamas, and warm under the covers so he can snuggle the shit out of him.

"Okay," Cas says after a moment, then moves to untangle himself from Dean's lap.

Dean catches his wrist before he can fully plant his foot on the floor, though, and tugs him in for another kiss.

A kiss that says, _I'm here for you, and I want you to be okay_.

 _I_ need _you to be okay_.

Cas smiles- soft and small and _so delicate_ that it makes Dean's stomach flutter, then goes in to steal a kiss of his own.. one that simply promises  _I am_.


	58. Chapter 58

"Your hair's getting long," Cas says, brushing the stray strands from Dean's forehead.

"I know," Dean agrees, not even bothering to open his eyes.

The pale, gray morning light is filtering in through the window above Cas' bed, and he smiles at how it contrasts with Dean's freckles.

"I like it," he adds, rustling what he just straightened.

Dean hums, "Got a thing for that shaggy surfer type, huh?"

"Maybe," Cas says, pushing himself up onto his elbow.

Dean cracks an eye open, a lazy grin quirking the side of his mouth. "Yea?"

Cas nods. "It's hot."

"Hm," Dean hums again, smoothing his hand across Cas' back. "Maybe I'll let it grow, then."

"Really?"

"Well, my boyfriend thinks it's hot, so.."

Cas snorts. "Dean, you'd be hot no matter what your hair looked like."

Dean smiles, reaching up to take Cas' hand and kiss his knuckles. "Ditto."

.

Regardless of the fact that they've literally had each others' dicks in their mouths, and have slept together _naked_ , it's still surreal to watch Cas climb out of bed and drop his underwear like it's nothing, then change into new.

Dean smiles, and untangles himself from the blankets. "Can I borrow a shirt?"

Nevermind that they are about to leave for his house, so it's kind of pointless for him to take Cas' clothes, but Cas doesn't question it and instead just glances over his bare shoulder.

"Middle drawer."

"Thanks."

.

Cas grabs the thick ivory envelope gilded in gold and stops short. "Shit."

"What?" Dean asks from the bedroom doorway.

"I didn't get Sammy a card. I had this and didn't even think about it."

Dean shrugs. "So just sign mine."

Cas blinks at him. "For real?"

"Well, yea. Why not?"

Cas bites his bottom lip. "Doesn't that usually signify that it's like, a joint gift?"

"I guess," Dean shrugs again. "It's not like we didn't get them together anyway, so.. we'll just _give_ them together. No big."

It's dumb for _this_ to give Cas butterflies, but, here he is. "You sure?"

"Babe," Dean rolls his eyes. "Yes, I'm sure."

The endearment falls from Dean's lips like it's been there forever- like it _belongs_ there, and Cas grins, his insides swarming. "Okay."

.

The closer they get to Dean's house, the more anxious Cas appears to be.

"Dude," Dean says, reaching over to rub Cas' arm. "Relax. It's just family and some of Sammy's friends."

"I know," Cas assures, though he doesn't sound all that sure of himself.

"Seriously, you have nothing to worry about."

"I know."

"Then why are you so nervous?"

Cas turns to look him. "Cause I'm about to meet the rest of your family, Dean."

Dean can't help the smile that consumes his face. _He is so goddamn cute_. "And they're gonna love you."

Cas' blushes and ducks his head, then peeks up from under his lashes. "You think so?"

Dean nods. "Yup. I know so."

 _Because I sure as fuck do_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are awesome and amazing and that is all. Thank you. <3


	59. Chapter 59

Dean's family is fucking huge.

Cas was not at all prepared for the ambush that met them the moment they walked through the door.

Not even close.

He shakes hands and embraces hugs while trying to remember Aunt Lydia, Cousin Annabelle, Uncle Stephen, Cousin Rory, Aunt Melinda- so on and so forth before Sammy pushes his way through the crowd, and demands Cas' attention.

"Wanna come see my cake?" he asks brightly, a pointed party hat sitting lopsided on his head.

Cas smiles. _He's wearing the shirt I gave him_. "Um, _yea_?"

"Kay, c'mon. It's in the kitchen."

Cas follows along, after excusing himself from the group, of course, and glances back at Dean once more before rounding out of sight- only to smile again, even _wider_ , when Dean winks.

.

"Spill," Dean's cousin Lexi says as soon as they're out of earshot from everyone else.

"What do you mean?" he plays dumb.

She rolls her eyes. "What's your deal? All the sudden you're gay an-"

He holds a hand up, stopping her right there. "I'm not gay. I'm bi."

"Whatever," she waves a hand of her own. "And you for real quit football?"

"Yea."

She stares, like she's trying to figure out how things have changed so drastically from when they had last seen each other, just a short few months ago.

"Was it because of him?"

"What? No." He pops a chocolate dipped strawberry into his mouth.

There are trays of finger foods strategically placed throughout the house, and the one Dean is currently scouting is on the coffee table in the living room.

"So then why?"

"Because I don't like it."

She balks. " _What?_ "

He swallows. "I don't like it. Never have."

She shakes her head, obviously trying to grasp what it is he's telling her. "You're kidding."

"Nope." He picks up a little fruit-kabob, and works a blueberry off the end with his teeth.

"So what are you gonna do for college?"

He shrugs. "I dunno. Me and Cas haven't talked about it yet."

She stares. "You and Cas."

"... yea?"

"Dean, are you even hearing yourself right now?"

He bristles a bit. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You guys _just_ started dating. And you're willing to revolve your entire college career and _future_ around him?"

"Fuck yea," Dean says instantly, squaring his shoulders. "I wanna spend the rest of my life with him, Lex, so.. _yea_ , I'd say I'm willing to revolve my entire college career and future around him."

She blinks, lips parting slightly to hang open like a dead fish. "That's a bold statement to make, Dean."

He shrugs again. "Well, it's the truth, so."

She huffs in disbelief. "Whatever you say, I guess."

He pulls the rest of the berries off the tiny skewer and says with a full mouth, "I do."

.

"Okay, but, how did they get the little swirls so perfect at the ends of the wands?" Cas asks in awe, his face all but an inch from the window of the cake box.

"I don't know," Sam says from beside him. "It's cool though, isn't it?"

"Yea. I almost feel bad we're gonna ruin it by eating it."

Sam snorts. "Me too!"

"Did you get pict-"

"You guys are still in here?" Dean asks in surprise, causing Cas' head to snap up.

He smiles, body immediately filling with warmth. "Have you seen this?"

"Not in the flesh. But samples when they were ordering it," Dean says, coming closer. "Cute hat," he adds.

"Thank you," Cas says through a grin. "Where's yours?"

"Upstairs. Wanna help me get it?"

Sammy groans. "Gross, Dean."

Dean laughs, holding his hands up defensively. "PG, I swear. I for real just need to borrow him for a minute. Then you can have him back."

Sam flushes minutely. "My friends should be here soon, anyway. So, it's fine."

"Thanks for letting me get a VIP viewing," Cas says, hoping to ease some of Sammy's sudden embarrassment.

"No problem," Sam shrugs, nudging his glasses up his nose in indifference. "I'll see you guys in a little bit."

With that, he turns, and exits the room, leaving them standing there smiling after him like a couple of goobs.

.

"Glad I didn't seal it yet," Dean says as he pulls the card out of the blue envelope, then hands it to Cas.

"Thanks," Cas takes it and leans over the dresser to sign his name, just under Dean's.

When he's finished, he stares at it for a minute, because seeing their names next to each other sends a jolt of fuzzy adrenaline down his spine.

He tries to tamp it, as not only is it rude, but it's also highly inappropriate to tackle Dean onto the bed and have his way with him when they're in a house full of people.

Full of Dean's _family_.

But when he looks up, though, Dean is smiling softly at him, and it sort of wracks his nerve.

"I like that," Dean says quietly, pointing at the fresh ink Cas just left behind.

"Me too."

Dean steps closer, right into his space, so that he has to turn to accommodate the intrusion, and his butt presses firmly to the dresser.

He instinctively puts his hands on Dean's hips, just as Dean places his own on the flat surface on either side of him, thus successfully bracketing him in.

"You know what else I like?" Dean asks coyly, licking his lips.

Cas preens, sucking it up. "What?"

"You," Dean whispers, then ducks in to lightly brush his bottom lip across Cas'.

Cas exhales almost in a sigh, relaxing into the knee-jerk calm that kissing Dean never fails to prompt.

He trails his hands up Dean's sides, over his chest; fingers dancing along Dean's shoulders and neck to card up through the back of his hair.

Dean hums, stepping impossibly closer, and grabs Cas' waist to heft him up onto the dresser top, so that his legs are now bracketing _Dean_ in.

It's oddly similar to that day forever ago in Cas' bathroom, when he was still trying to wrap his head around why _Dean Winchester_ was even helping him in the first place. And the evolution from that moment to where they are now launches his endorphin level to one that's almost unbearable.

He tilts his head, pushing forward to deepen the kiss and just shy of moans when their tongues collide.

It's probably not wise to let himself get so worked up, because he's going to end up with a boner with no way to quell it, but you know what, he can't help himself.

He can't help that he's here, now, in Dean's room with Dean's hands on him while Dean is kissing him as if he's the only one in the world who matters- the only one who has, and ever will have, his _heart_ , and it's making him delirious with the actuality of it.

The fact that he's so undeniably in love with Dean isn't helping the sheer torque of intensity, either, but.. whatever.

There's nothing he can do about it- nothing he _wants_ to do about it, so he just lets himself be carried away-

Let's himself be carried away with Dean.


	60. Chapter 60

"Dean?" and a quiet knock where all the warning they got before Dean's cousin was poking her head through the door.

Cas shoves into him, jumping down from the dresser as he simultaneously wipes at his mouth and covers his dick.

"Oh, sorry," Annabelle says, not sounding an ounce bit of sorry, at all, and Dean groans internally.

He seen the way she looked at Cas downstairs.

And he didn't like it.

"What do you want?" he asks more harshly than necessary, but.

"Your mom wants you," she replies simply, unfazed.

"Okay. I'll be down in a minute."

"Or you can go now, and I'll wait for Cas to.." she trails off, eyes skimming over the hand Cas has placed precariously over his junk, and Dean's blood rushes.

"Or not," he says, stepping forward to grab the doorknob. "I'll be down in a minute."

She takes the hint that he provides, and when it clicks shut on her scowl, he turns to Cas with an apologetic, "I'm so sorry, babe."

"It's okay," Cas huffs awkwardly, probably more stunned than anything, so Dean pulls him in for a hug- tapping at the crooked hat on his head as he goes. "Can't believe you're still wearing this."

" _Oh my god_ ," Cas says, hiding his face in the crook of Dean's neck. "Why didn't you say anything?!"

Dean snorts. "I thought you knew."

"I forgot!"

"God, you are so fucking cute."

.

Cas will be honest, he thought for sure that because Dean's cousin walked in on them, the whole downstairs would be buzzing with the scandal of it, but.. when they reach the bottom step, it's like no one even knew they were gone in the first place.

There are significantly more people than when they went _upstairs_ , and Cas flushes at the fact that they must have been gone a lot longer than he originally thought.

He follows Dean through the side entrance of the kitchen where Mary is, and hangs out by the edge of the counter while Dean goes to her.

"What's up?" Dean asks, plucking a dipped strawberry out of the bowl of extras.

Mary frowns at him. "What do you mean?"

"AB said you wanted to see me."

"No," Mary shakes her head. "I was just wondering where you were. But Sam said you needed Cas upstairs for something. So I figured it was gift related."

There's a light blush on Dean's cheeks, and Cas wonders if it's because Mary is none the wiser to their little semi-frottage session, or because Annabelle so clearly lied.

Probably both.

"Oh," Dean says, quickly covering his tracks. "Must have misunderstood her, then."

"Must have," Mary comments as she goes back to her task of artfully plating tiny appetizers.

Dean rounds on his heel, and Cas catches a flash of irritation before Dean's face softens, then he reaches out to take Cas' hand. "C'mon, let's go introduce you to everyone else."

.

It's fascinating, as well as bizarre, to watch Cas totally let his guard down and become fully submersed in conversation with Dean's family.

They all love him, obviously, just like Dean had promised they would. But _especially_ his Aunt Melinda.

He smiles, because that's just a match made in heaven.

She works for a gallery, and judging by the way Cas' face just lit up, she provided as much.

"Cas is a photographer," Dean says, raising his voice to be heard over the hum from his position on the couch.

Her brows lift in surprise. "Really?"

Cas colors, and shoots Dean a sideways glance before answering. "I just like to take pictures. It's not a big deal."

"He's a photographer," Dean says again, because it's the truth. Cas' shit is _good_.

Like, exhibit good.

" _Dean_ ," Cas chastises, coloring even more as he reaches up to rustle his hair, then aborts the mission when he realizes he's still got that damn hat on.

 _Adorable_.

"I'd love to see your work some time," Melinda says, nothing but sincerity in her voice.

"Oh. I, ah-" Cas stumbles. "I don't really have a-"

"No pressure," she assures, touching his arm. "If you ever put together a portfolio, Dean knows where to find me."

"Okay," Cas says, looking kind of flabbergasted by not only the kindness, but the offer itself and implication.

She smiles, patting his arm once more, before excusing herself to replenish her dessert plate.

.

Cas scoots himself in between Dean's lap and the arm of the couch, trying his best to ignore the way Annabelle is staring a hole through him.

He wants to ask Dean what her deal is, or if he's just imagining it, but seeing as how the room is literally overflowing with people, he knows he'll be overheard.

Thankfully, Dean seems to notice his discomfort, and shifts- adjusting himself so that his arm is draped over Cas' shoulders.

Cas leans into it, then begins picking at the plate of fruit in his hand.

He smiles when Dean steals an orange wedge wrapped in what looks like.. fuck, he doesn't know what it's wrapped in, but he ends up laughing when Dean puts it in his mouth and smiles obnoxiously so that it looks like his teeth.

Which of course, prompts others to join in, as well.

.

"-you ever surfed?" Lexi is asking Cas, though Dean's attention is pulled to his right, where Rory is talking animatedly about his frat.

"No," Cas answers.

"I heard it's not that much different from skateboarding. Do you skateboard?"

"Yea, in the summer usually."

"You skateboard?" a new voice chimes in, and Dean looks over just in time to see Annabelle untangling herself from the armchair.

 _Here we go_.

"Uh, yea?" Cas says uncertainly, no doubt taken aback by Annabelle's sudden peek of interest.

Though to be honest, she's been eyeing him ever since he sat down.

"That's so ho- cool. Is it hard?" she asks, dropping to her knees right in front of him so she can blink up at him with her big, hazel doe eyes.

 _If the ottoman was still there, she wouldn't be able to do that_ , Dean thinks to himself as a flash of somewhat irrational jealousy spikes through him.

"Um, not really? I don't know.." Cas shrugs, and Dean kinda wishes his arm was still around him. "I've been doing it for so long I don't remember."

"Wow," Annabelle says dreamily. _Pfft_. "Have you ever like, taught anyone before?"

 _Oh for fuck's sake_.

Lexi snorts, so Dean knows he's not the only one witnessing this shit show of an inquisition, and he rolls his eyes.

"No.." Cas says slowly, cause he obviously knows where this is going, too, but doesn't want to come off as rude.

"Do you think you _could_ teach, someone?" she poises the question so delicately, so.. _infuriatingly_ , that Dean would probably scream at her to stay the fuck away from his boyfriend if it wasn't his goddamn cousin doing the prodding.

"I'm ah.." Cas shifts, rubbing the back of his neck- causing his elbow to bump into Dean's arm. "I'm not that good of a teacher.. so."

"I doubt that," she says, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth and Lex snorts again.

"Jesus, AB, keep it in your pants why don't you. He's _taken._ "

Annabelle falters, for just a moment, before smiling sweetly up at Dean. "You wouldn't mind if your boyfriend taught me how to skateboard, would you, Dean?"

 _Hell yes I would mind_.

"Nope," he says instead. "If Cas wanted to, that's up to him."

She turns her gaze back to Cas, and even goes so far as to tuck a strand of lush golden hair behind her ear. "So, what do you say.. _Cas_?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, for whatever reason, every single thing I'd write these last few days would come out angsty. And, that is _not_ the direction I want to take with this fic. Light problematics, sure, but not the kind of scenarios that make your chest tighten. As a result, I ended up writing this chapter at like 4am and after just reading through it, it's as close to what I want to portray as possible, so.. we'll call it good, and move on from here lol.
> 
> .. this seems to be happening a lot lately, as I've reached a point in the story where there's just _so_ much I want to tell, that it all ends up muddling together and I have to comb through it at least five times to find it feasible. Because of that, I feel like updates are spacing more and more apart. I guess just a heads up going forward? I'm not abandoning or losing interest, I'm just trying to figure out the best way to word scenes so that it maintains it's *feel*.
> 
> As always, I appreciate every comment, heart, exclamation point and squee left so, soo much. You guys are the best, and I am entirely thankful for you! <3


	61. Chapter 61

"Oh, um.." Cas shifts, face heating minutely at not only the attention of Annabelle, but of Rory, Lexi and Dean's uncle, as well. "It's not really good skating weather right now, you know? So, ah.." he pauses, rubbing the back of his neck again, "it would have to wait until spring, at the very least. But even then I'm not sure how much free time I'll have, either. Like.. with school, and.. stuff."

He aims for subtle, even though he kind of ends up rambling, but that's fine because he's not going to just flat out say: No, I will not and _do not_ want to teach you how to skateboard.

As relentless and low key off-putting as Annabelle is, she's still Dean's family.

He's not an asshole.

Her smile twitches; the only sign that she took his answer for exactly what it was, then brightens impossibly. "But you're going to the wedding, right?"

Cas doesn't miss the way Dean sighs dejectedly beside him, or the amused smirk on Rory's face out of the corner of his eye. "Uh.. no?" he answers uncertainly.

Her grin turns wicked.

"Dean hasn't asked you?" she says with an incredulous huff, arching a perfectly manicured brow and opens her mouth to continue when Dean interjects.

"No, I haven't asked him, _yet_ ," Dean basically sneers, cutting her off once and for all before touching Cas' arm to redirect his focus. "It's a big trip," he says by way of explanation when he has it.

"Okay.. ?" Cas' confusion must be evident in more than just his voice, cause Dean smiles softly.

"Her sister's getting married in Florida on New Years Eve," he supplies with a single nod in Annabelle's direction, "but the whole family is going down the week before Christmas to stay over break."

 _Oh_.

"Oh," Cas says, not really sure what else _to_ say.

Is Dean going to-

"I didn't want you to feel pressured into saying yes or anything, you know?" Dean squeezes his arm in a reassuring manner. "Cause I'm sure you and Elise have your own thing and-"

"Elise barely made it home last year," Cas huffs, a smile tugging at his lips as his insides start to turn fuzzy. "Plus, I think she has a boyfriend or something, so I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't even try this time around."

Dean grins, eyes lighting up with a hopefulness that makes Cas' stomach swoop. "Yea?"

Cas nods, deciding to elaborate. "His name's _Jackson_ , and he works for the magazine she's doing a piece for."

"No shit," Dean says while thrusting a celebratory fist in the air. " _Way to go_ -"

He's interrupted by a clearing of someone's throat, and when they look down, they see that that someone is Annabelle.

Appearing to be more irritated than ever.

"You guys are really disgusting, did you know that?"

A scattered mix of snorts and laughter sprout up around them, and they glance at each other briefly before answering at the same time, "We did."

.

"So does that mean you might wanna spend Christmas with me in Florida, and be my date to a majestic wedding on the beach that'll no doubt be complete with a firework show?" Dean asks with a splash of humor, though judging by the way Cas is smiling, he already knows the answer.

They no longer have an audience, as it must have become quite clear that this was something better discussed between the two of them, without the added meddling of pestering family members.

"If you promise to hold my hand on the plane."

"Anything for you, babe," Dean promises, ducking in to kiss the corner of Cas' mouth- thoughts instantly filled with images of Cas in shorts running through the sand as the surf crashes behind him, the caw of birds overhead and distant hum of beach-goers serving as a perfect soundscape.

Cas tips his chin to get him more fully on the lips, and the show of chaste affection given their surroundings makes warmth bloom low in Dean's gut.

He pulls back just enough to catch Cas' eye without going crossed and runs his thumb over the high of Cas' cheek.

Though he doesn't say the actual words; much too precious and fragile to be shared with everyone else in this moment, he knows he doesn't have to- his gaze portrays it all.

 _I love you_.

Cas' features soften ever so, his lashes fluttering as he relays in the same fashion.. _and I, love you_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bahhhhhh! <3333


	62. Chapter 62

"What's this?" Sam asks with a frown, unfolding the piece of paper that Cas had shoved into the gilded envelope.

"Oh," Cas quips, licking the frosting from his lip as he attempts to sit up straighter on the couch. "A consent form."

Everyone has crammed into the living room to watch Sammy open his gifts, so as a result he's ended up pinned between Dean and Lexi, which is making it very difficult to eat his cake.

"For what?" Sam questions even as he's reading over the text.

Dean huffs beside him. "To get your ears pierced."

Sam's head shoots up and his eyes widen with shocked excitement. "Really?!"

"Yea," Cas smiles. "If you want to, I mean. No pressure. It's just.. there, if you decide to do it."

"And mom and dad are okay with it?" Sam asks, dropping his eyes back to the paper.

"Well, I signed the thing, didn't I?" John says from the other side of the room, causing laughter to fill the space.

Sam looks up, beaming at the both of them. "Thank you guys. This is the best."

"Hey," Dean says, pointing to Cas. "That was all him."

If it weren't for being flanked by his friends, Cas is absolutely positive Sammy would have jumped up right then and hugged the shit out of him, but as it were, he remains seated. "Thanks, Cas."

"No problem, Sam."

"Kay now open the other one," Dean says impatiently, stirring another round of laughter.

Sam snorts and reaches for the package, then tears the paper off with a newly found vigor. He turns the small, weathered but ornate box around in his hands and glances up at the couch again. "What's.. this?"

"Open it," both Dean and Cas say at the same time, prompting even _more_ laughter.

Sammy does, then stares at the contents with a reverent sort of awe. "Shut up."

"Okay," Dean snorts, looking all too pleased with himself.

Which he should be, because judging by Sammy's reaction, he's just as pumped as Dean thought he'd be.

"I've been wanting to go to this," Sam says, yet to take his eyes off the museum tickets in the box.

"I know," Dean replies through a smile.

Sam _does_ dislodge himself from the floor this time, sprinting across the carpet to throw an arm around either of their necks. "Thank you guys!"

"Hey," Cas laughs, returning the hug one handed so as to not make a mess with his plate. "That was all him."

.

It took little to no convincing on Sammy's part to get Cas to agree to stay the night, and watching Sam and his friends fawn over Cas like he was literally the coolest person they'd ever met will probably go down as one of the greatest things Dean's ever had the pleasure of witnessing.

They manage to slip away with goodnight's and a promise to take Sam to get his ears done tomorrow, then climb the stairs in shared, tired silence.

It's so weird how this is like routine now- the way they just, maneuver with each other so effortlessly. Because as soon as Dean's door is closed behind them, they go about undressing without so much as a word.. quietly getting ready for bed while mentally unwinding from the day.

And, _what a freaking day it was_.

Cas smiles at him as he sets his jeans on the dresser, then walks over to the bed like he's done it a million times before, and this isn't the very first in Dean's room.

Dean swallows back the wave of endearment that causes, then follows suit himself.

He snuggles in right behind Cas, wrapping his arms around him as tightly as he can when they're settled, and pulls a soft giggle from Cas as he does so.

"Afraid I'm goin' somewhere?" Cas whispers on a yawn, lacing their fingers together against his stomach.

"No," Dean whispers back, kissing the side of Cas' neck before clearing his throat a bit. "I just love you and wanna be as close to you as I can."

The words flow flawlessly; tasting just as good as they feel to say, and before he can register much more beyond that, Cas is twisting in his grip.

He's forced onto his back as Cas smashes their lips together, pushing him further and further into the pillows while Cas clumsily shifts on top of him. "Say it again," he demands, muddled and breathless given the circumstances.

Dean huffs at the change of pace, a smile stretching his mouth wide. "I love you."

" _Fuck_ ," Cas breathes, still not bothering to pull away even though he's mostly just kissing Dean's teeth at this point. "That's so- I love that," he pants. "I love _you_."

A volcano of emotion erupts inside of Dean and it's like the air is sucked straight from his lungs. " _Say it again_ ," he urges, overcome with the response in his body from hearing it.

Cas grins in understanding, a hint of a laugh shaking him as he cradles Dean's face between his hands. " _I love you_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D


	63. Chapter 63

Cas' stomach twitches, and he smiles, burying his face further into the pillow. "That tickles," he whispers.

Dean huffs against the back of his neck, kissing in the wake of warmth as he continues to trail his fingers ever so lightly over the sensitive skin below Cas' navel- _just_ grazing the elastic band of his boxer briefs.

"You're so soft, though," Dean murmurs. "I can't help it."

" _Deann_ ," Cas whines languidly, already feeling that familiar heat pooling low in his abdomen that would have inevitably happened with or without Dean's ministrations.

"What?" Dean asks innocently, voice still tinged with sleep.

"You know what."

"Hmm, do I?" Dean all but purrs, letting his hand travel lower- palm ghosting over the edge of Cas' budding erection.

" _Oh my god_ ," Cas half groans, half sighs with a lazy smile as his eyelids flutter. "You're the worst."

"Really?" Dean huffs. "Cause it kinda feels like I'm the _best_."

He emphasizes the last bit as he cups Cas' now fully _alert_ erection, and Cas grins, then rolls onto his back.

"Asshole," he says once he's readjusted, and Dean's other arm is snaked beneath his shoulders.

"But you love me," Dean counters, dipping down to kiss Cas' parted, stretched lips.

"I do."

Dean smiles, shaking his head as he presses their foreheads together. "I don't think I'm ever gonna get tired of hearing that."

Cas cards his fingers through Dean's hair, and tips his chin to peck the corner of Dean's mouth. "Well that's good, cause I don't intend to ever stop saying it."

There's a beat of silence when they just breathe each other in, then, Dean clears his throat. "This is probably going to come out wrong.. but I'm _really_ glad you fell that day and split your face open."

Cas snorts, squinting perplexedly up at Dean. "You're glad I nearly killed myself?"

"Told you it was gonna come out wrong," Dean laughs, shaking his head again. "But I just mean I dunno if I would've had the balls to talk to you again if it weren't for that. So like.. it gave me an excuse to help you. To see if you were alright."

Cas stares, locked in exuberant green, and feels his expression soften at the double meaning those words possess.

"In that case then," he says, cradling the side of Dean's face to rub a thumb across his cheek. "I'm glad I failed so _epically_ at jumping over a literal one foot high obstruction and not only almost ended my life, but gave myself a black eye and gnarly scar to show for it, too."

Dean tips his head back as another bout of gentle laughter shakes him, and when he returns his gaze to Cas', it's with a reverence that mirrors Cas' flawlessly. "I love you."

"And I love you," Cas responds, signaling that gooey warmth to settle over him just the same as it had the night before.

"So ah," Dean smirks. "Do you want me to.." he trails off, shifting his hand where it's still resting against Cas' unflagged junk.

"Yes, please."

Dean's smirk turns impish. "Well, since you're so _polite_  about it.. I guess I can-"

Cas breaks out into a fit of giggles then as Dean tosses the blanket over his shoulder and proceeds to shimmy his way down the mattress to plant himself firmly between Cas' knees.

Cas lifts his hips when Dean prompts, so that he can help Dean rid him of his underwear, then throws an arm over his face in quick succession because Dean wastes _no_ time peppering his flushed skin with delicate kisses.

"I love you," Cas whispers again, just because he can, and relishes when Dean whispers right back, "I love _you_ ," before closing his mouth around him in one, swift gulp.

" _Fuckkk!_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah! You guys! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR WONDERFUL WORDS!!! (I know this is uber late but-) Frick! I can't believe we're finally to the big ILY stage! :D
> 
> And as I said before, I am by no means sick of/abandoning this story. Quite the contrary, actually- as I literally felt an ache in my chest yesterday from not writing them for a few days. But, as this fic/these characters/this world hold such a deep catharsis for me, I'm really _really_ scared I'm going to screw it up. Like, majorly scared. Because it's so long, and I've built such an elaborate verse, I'm worried I'm going to inevitably contradict myself, repeat myself, or produce something out of character without realizing it.
> 
> So, as a result, I've been treading very lightly, and taking great care to approach with utmost fragility, as it would probably shatter me if I messed up and couldn't fix it. So I appreciate your patience, as well as your ongoing feedback/support. You guys are the absolute best. <3


	64. Chapter 64

Dean is pretty sure Cas fell asleep again. If the soft, even puffs of breath ghosting against the side of neck are anything to go by, anyway.

He's got one arm wrapped securely around Cas' back, as the other hand gently cards through his hair. They're warm, and getting kind of sweaty, but Dean doesn't care in the least.

Because he's starting to doze off again himself, when a hesitant knock pilfers through the room.

"Yea?" he croaks as quietly as possible, so as not to stir Cas.

The door opens a crack, and Sammy's bed ridden head pops through. His eyes flash from Cas to Dean. "Is he sleeping?"

Dean nods.

"Sorry," Sam whispers, rustling the side of his hair. "I was just wondering when we can go? Do my ears?"

Dean smiles. "Cas said the studio doesn't open til like noon, so.. any time after that."

"Okay, cool. I'm gonna go take a shower then," Sam pauses. "Do you think he'd want pancakes?"

"Probably," Dean huffs, halting his hand to cradle the back of Cas' neck. "I'll meet you downstairs in a little bit, okay?"

"Kay," Sammy says before moving to close the door, but then he sticks his head back in the room. "I'm really happy you're happy, Dean."

Dean's chest fills with emotion as his heart stutters. "Me too," he whispers.

"Cas is good for you."

"Thanks, Sammy."

"No problem, Dean," Sam smiles, then closes the door with a muted _click_.

Dean lays there for a moment longer, staring at the ceiling and just feeling Cas in his arms, before he turns his head a fraction and presses a kiss to Cas' forehead.

"Babe," he whispers, continuing his trek through Cas' messy hair. "Babe, we gotta get up."

Cas snorts, then shifts and lifts his head, blinking blearily at Dean who can't wipe the smile from his face.

"Hmm?" Cas frowns, confusion as well as wrinkled sleep marks painting his otherwise lax features.

"You're so fucking cute," Dean says, rubbing his thumb along Cas' eyebrow, then dipping up to kiss Cas' nose.

Cas smiles, closing his eyes to revel in the affection. "You know you're spoiling me, right?"

"Yea, and?" Dean counters.

Cas looks down at him then, and splays his fingers over Dean's chest still clad in his t-shirt. "Cause how am I supposed to go back to sleeping by myself _now_?"

"Well, I mean, aside from school nights- which I'm sure we can sneak a few in there anyway, we only have to last another.." Dean squints an eye as he does the math mentally, counting off on his fingers with the hand poised beside Cas' head, "six months? Then it's every night from there on out."

Cas blinks at him again, for real this time. "You mean-"

"What?" Dean laughs. "You think I wasn't planning on moving in with you the second we were able?"

"I don't know I just-" Cas shakes his head a bit. "Aren't you going to college? I know we haven't really talked about it but I just thought-"

"Babe," Dean says, cradling the side of Cas' face again. "Those were not my dreams. I honestly don't know what the fuck I wanna do. But I know that I wanna do it with _you_."

"Jesus," Cas breathes, face skewing slightly as his eyes begin to gloss. "You just-"

Dean smiles, tipping his chin enough to brush their lips together. "I don't care what we do, or where we go, I just wanna be with you. Cause I know no matter what, we'll figure it out together."

"Dean you can't-" Cas gets out right before the tears spill over and streak down his cheeks.

"Can't what?" Dean prods, wiping his thumb through the track. "Wanna spend the rest of my life with you and as the result, haphazardly plan accordingly?"

Cas nods.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't _have_ any plans," Cas says wetly, eyes widening like Dean should know this- should see the flaw here.

Dean rolls his eyes instead. "So? Like I said.. we'll figure it out together."

He ends with a shrug that leaves Cas gaping at him.

"You're seriously willing to coast through the rest of this year without having a single clue as to what you're gonna to do once you graduate?"

Dean shrugs again. "I mean, we still have time, you know? Like, even if we just decide to enroll in community college for a semester or two- get our basics out of the way and move onto bigger and better things, then.. that's what we'll do."

"Hell," he adds as an afterthought. "We might even end up really liking it in Florida and just move there. I can see it now," he says dramatically, emphasizing the scene with a panoramic motion of his hand. "You with a year round tan, and me.. with bleach tipped hair."

Cas snorts in broken, involuntary laughter at that, and Dean marvels in the sound.

 _Success_.

.. however minimal.

"This is crazy," Cas says after a moment, shaking his head as if he's trying to decipher whether they're _actually_ having this conversation right now or he's still asleep.

"Yea, maybe so," Dean runs his hand up Cas' arm, stopping under the sharp line of his jaw. "But it's _our_ lives.. so who says it can't be?"

Cas stares at him, eyes calculating and in awe. "You know.. I never in a million years would have thought this is a route my life would have taken."

"Me neither," Dean murmurs, smiling when Cas moves his hand to run a soft finger over his bottom lip.

He kisses it. "That doesn't mean I'm not super fucking thankful for it, though."

Cas smiles, leaning down to kiss in the wake of his finger, holding Dean's chin delicately as he does so. ".. same."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 x infinity, and then some.


	65. Chapter 65

Sam seemed to be doing just fine up until they pulled into the studio's parking lot, then his nerves got the best of him.

"What's up?" Dean asks, twisting around in his seat to look back at a Sam who has yet to unbuckle.

Cas turns as well.

"Um," Sam says, wrenching his hands together. "Does it hurt?" he directs the question towards Cas, then adds, "I mean I know it hurts, but like.. how bad?"

Cas smiles sympathetically, because he remembers these pre first-piercing-jitters all too well.

"Not that bad," he answers 100% truthfully. "Your ears are probably the least painful thing to get pierced."

"Really?" Sam perks, visibly relaxing at that.

Cas nods. "Mhm. Plus, the needles they use are super sharp. So it makes the healing process a lot quicker, and essentially painless compared to getting it done with a gun."

"Yea?" Sam asks, that same brave excitement from earlier seeping back into his demeanor.

"Yea," Cas smiles. "Cause they're pretty much just punching a tiny hole through your lobe. So even though it actually takes months to fully 'heal', the surface aspect of it happens kinda fast. And, you're not dealing with all the bruising from forcing a semi-blunt post through your skin either, so," he shrugs. "It's not that bad."

"Thanks Cas," Sam says sincerely, _finally_ unbuckling his seat belt and grabbing for the door.

It slams behind him a second later, and Cas is about to follow suit when Dean's expression makes him pause.

"What?" he asks softly, fingers lingering on the cool metal handle.

"You're kinda amazing, you know that?" Dean answers with a tilt of his head.

Cas huffs, closing his eyes against the roll of emotion that stirs inside of him, then lets go of the handle to lean forward and cup Dean's jaw.

"My boyfriend _does_ like to remind me pretty regularly," he smiles against Dean's lips as they brush together, then snorts when Sam's impatient knock sounds against the window a moment after.

"I love you," Dean says through a grin, pecking him once more before turning away to heft his door open.

Cas snorts again, shaking his head as he does the same. "I love _you_."

.

As soon as they're on the sidewalk, Dean snakes his hand in Cas'.

Sammy walks a few steps in front of them, and when they reach the filigree adorned glass door to the studio, he pauses.

"Go on," Dean nods towards it, running his thumb over the side of Cas' finger. "They're not gonna bite you."

"Well, maybe," Cas laughs, pulling a chuckle from Dean and a repugnant glare from Sam.

"Ha ha," Sam says, but opens the door anyway.

The interior is just as Dean remembers it from a week ago; all dark wood and clean lines, potted plants hanging from the ceiling in macrame holders, and a giant steer skull mounted on the wall behind a row of low padded stools.

Except, instead of the raspy redhead behind the counter that helped them before, it's a guy.

A really cute guy who's probably only a couple years older than them.

And, a guy who's eyes flicker with _something_ the second they land on Cas.

"Well, I'll be damned. Look who finally decided to get his nipples done!" the guy, who is clad in a ratty black cardigan and faded band tee says as he steps out from behind he counter to stalk over to them.

There's an awkward pause when Dean knows Cas turns as red as the rug they're standing on, but more so as the guys' gaze flicks to their clasped hands.

A visible 'ah' moment flashes in that brown gaze and Dean tries not to let it bother him, because this dude was obviously a part of Cas' life long before he was, but- it appears they're going two-for-two this weekend in the angst department.

"Uh, no.." Cas huffs, ruffling the back of his hair. "Nothing for me this time."

The guy briefly takes in the lack of jewelry in Cas' face, save for the lone silver hoop in his nostril, and seems as if he's _about_ to comment on it when his professional side snaps abruptly into place.

He turns to Dean then, and extends a hand. "Jacobe."

The smile that follows is nearly blinding, as a little silver hoop rests at the front of his teeth. Twin dimple piercings only serve to further accentuate the blind factor, so it takes a beat for Dean to realize he's supposed to _respond_.

He untangles his fingers from Cas' and accepts the offered hand. "Dean."

"Wait," Jacobe says, still grasping his hand while he points with the other. "Winchester?"

Dean swallows, flushing himself. "Yea."

"No way," Jacobe laughs, dropping his hand. "I heard about your whole, coming out thing. And the football game-" he looks to Cas then, eyes wide with realization. "That was with _you_?!"

Cas nods. "Uh huh."

"Oh man," Jacobe shakes his head in slight amused bewilderment. "That is so rad. What a way to say fuck the system," he huffs, knocking them both on the arm. "I'm so happy for you guys though. Honest. That is just- that's really fuckin' cool. Good for you."

Dean smiles then. "Thanks."

A moment of understanding passes between he and Jacobe, and just like that, all the previous angst is gone.

"So," Jacobe says, clapping his hands together. "Who am I poking today, then?"


	66. Chapter 66

When Jacobe steers Sam over to the jewelry case to pick out what kind he wants for his ears, Cas takes the opportunity to clarify something with Dean.

He grabs Dean's hand before he can follow them, and tugs him back. "It was a joke."

Dean frowns. "What?"

"The nipple thing. It was a joke. I never-"

"Babe," Dean's face smooths out. "You don't have to explain anything to me. It's cool. You guys were before me, so-"

"Wait, what?"

It's Cas' turn to frown. Cause what the fuck is Dean talking-

"You," Dean says, then nods towards Jacobe. "And him. It was before you and _I_ , so, it's whatever."

Oh my god.

"You think.."

"Well.. yea. I mean," Dean trails off as he gauges Cas' reaction. "Were you not, then?"

"No."

".. oh."

"Dean, I've only-"

"Hey you guys," Jacobe calls, dragging both of their attentions to where he and Sam are now standing at the counter over a tray of samples. "I think we already found some winners, so, if you wanna head back, we're gonna.."

"Yea," Cas says again, shooting Dean a glance that says _we'll finish this convo later_. "We're coming."

.

Okay so like, Jacobe is freaking awesome.

Dean can totally see why Cas comes to him for all his piercing needs- as the dude is clearly a natural at what he does.

Not only did he explain step by step every single thing that he was doing, but he also managed to calm Sam to the point that he was actually _smiling_ when the needle went through.

Both times.

I mean..

 _C'mon_.

And, it turns out that he's just shy of two years older than them. Which, you know, brings the main, blatantly obvious question to the center of Dean's mind of: _why_ exactly hadn't he and Cas been a thing?

They clearly have great chemistry. Not to mention are a lot alike- both personality wise as well as appearance.

Plus, Jacobe is _funny_.

He's also super nice, polite, and has an all around chill attitude.

So.. _why_?

Dean is still ruminating over this when Sam slips from the table, signaling that they're about to make their exit, so he almost forgets that _he_ decided he wanted to get something, too.

"Um," he clears his throat, halting the other three's movements. "Do you feel like doing another one?" he asks Jacobe.

"For real?" Jacobe says, grin splitting his face as Cas gapes a, " _Really?_ " and Sam bounces up and down with an exuberant, "Seriously!?"

"Yea," Dean huffs, eyes darting between each of theirs. "I want my septum done."

"Dude," Jacobe nods appreciatively. " _Yes_. That'll look so good on you and it will be a fuckin' honor to pierce the beloved Simone Falls golden boy, _Dean Winchester_."

Dean snorts, pushing Jacobe playfully in the arm. "Har har. Put it on your resume why don't you."

"Maybe I will," Jacobe laughs, already turning to pull new stuff out of his drawers. "You know, that actually would be a killer portfolio pic. Would you be down to me snapping a couple afterwards?"

"Dean you should!" Sam says excitedly, hovering beside Cas who-

 _Fuck_.

.. a Cas who is regarding him with such a fervent fondness that he sorta doesn't know how to process such an affection in the presence of other people.

He smiles, as it's his gut reaction to basically everything pertaining to Cas these days, and nods. "Yea, that'd be cool."

" _Sweet_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are the literal best. That is all, good day. <3


	67. Chapter 67

Held Dean's hand while he got pierced?

Check.

Parted on non-awkward terms with Jacobe?

Check.

Went on a mini road trip to the next town over to try the new vegetarian/vegan friendly restaurant afterwards?

Check.

Dropped Sammy off and are now pulling into his driveway?

Check.

.. where it looks like Dean getting out with him?

Check.

Which means they're going to finish their conversation?

Check, check.

And it may prove to be somewhat difficult seeing as how he's having a _really_ hard time tearing his eyes away from the snug, gold seamless ring hugging Dean's septum?

 _Triple. Fucking. Check_.

.

Dean follows Cas into the living room, then sits down opposite him when he plops on the couch sideways.

"So you're the second person I've ever been with," Cas says, folding his legs in front of him and pulling a pillow into his lap to rest his forearms on.

Right, Dean thinks. _Straight to the chase, then_.

He nods, then clears his throat. "You're my seventh."

Cas nods. "Okay."

Then, like Dean's number didn't even faze him, "But it wasn't with Jacobe, and we didn't have sex. It was just really horrible kissing and a failed attempt at a blow job on my part."

Dean huffs, because while he wasn't exactly sure how this conversation would go once they got to it, he should have figured it'd be just like this; _easy_.

"I've slept with four," Dean says, reaching behind him to grab the other pillow, then props it on his bent knee to somewhat mirror Cas. "And I'm also sorry about that. For, you know.. assuming you and Jacobe were-"

"It's okay," Cas cuts in, plucking at the edge of the pillow. "I guess I can see why you would though, now."

Dean smiles. "Cause you're both hot and really fuckin' cool?"

Cas snorts, and shakes his head. "I was gonna say because we're both part of the subculture and share a mutual affinity for piercings, but I guess if that's what you wanna go with."

"Yours works too."

"But he's just my piercer, Dean."

"Fair, but I'm not gonna lie," Dean says, scratching his cheek as it starts to warm. "He _did_ kinda seem like he would've for sure liked to be more.."

"Seriously?" Cas asks, genuinely surprised, and for that Dean has to laugh.

"Uh, _yea_ ," he says. "You really didn't notice?"

"No."

" _Dude_."

" _What?_ " Cas presses, face turning a light shade of pink.

"Jesus, you are so fucking adorable," Dean huffs, extending his hand to slide it into Cas'. "But yea, he was totally crushing on you."

"Oh my god," Cas mumbles, ducking his head. "I never-"

"Not even with the nipple thing?"

"What? No," Cas rushes, twining their fingers loosely together. "I told you that was a joke. And not just between he and I but between everyone at the studio, cause they said I was running out of things to pierce."

Ah.

Dean grins. "I mean, there _are_ a couple other things you could still get."

" _Dean_."

"Sorry sorry," Dean laughs, not even the least bit sorry.

Cas rolls his eyes. "You are honestly the worst."

"But you love me, remember?"

"Yea,  _that's_ gonna get old real fast," Cas chides, though a smirk is tugging at his lips.

"Oh, c'mon!" Dean snorts, running his thumb along Cas' knuckles.

" _You_ c'mon."

"Come on what?"

" _Dean!_ "

.

"You're staring again," Dean murmurs, not bothering to move his gaze from the tv.

Cas stifles a smile. "I can't help it."

Dean looks over at him then, tone soft with their slowly evolved laziness. "You like it?"

Cas hums, nodding. "But I think that's probably an understatement," he shifts, bringing his butt closer to Dean's thigh where his legs are draped across Dean's lap. "Seeing as how it's easily one of the hottest thing I've ever seen."

Dean scoffs. "Please."

"No, I'm serious," Cas insists, knocking Dean's chest/arm with his knee. "It compliments you _so_ good."

"Who's the flatterer now, huh?"

Cas grins. "But you love me.. remember?"

"Oh my _god_ ," Dean rolls his eyes, squeezing Cas' calf in tandem. "How come you can use that and I can't?"

"I never said you couldn't use it. I just said it was gonna get old."

"Touche," Dean snorts.

"I had a lot of fun this weekend," Cas says a few beats later, somewhat out of the blue- but he feels as if he needs to voice it, because while it _was_ very enjoyable, obviously, it was kinda rocky.. and he wants Dean to know that that didn't deter any of it for him.

"Yea?"

Cas hums again, wiggling closer still. "Yea."

"Even with.."

"Even with your weird cousin and the Jacobe misinterpretation," Cas amends.

Dean nods, a smile etching into the corners of his mouth with the reflection of the tv. "I'm glad we got those parts out of the way, though."

"Me too."

"Cause it makes the other parts even better."

Cas smiles, then pushes himself up so that he's half-sitting in Dean's lap- one hand braced out behind him to hold him steady. "It does."

Dean releases his hold on Cas' leg in response, and instead cradles the side of Cas' face. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. You know that, right?"

Cas' breath stutters, and he nods- warmth filling him from head to toe. "You're the _only_ good thing that's ever happened to me. You know that.. right?"

Dean closes his eyes briefly, then tips forward to capture Cas' bottom lip between his. "I love you," he whispers, thumb trailing lightly over the front of Cas' ear.

Cas smiles. "I love you."

"So," Dean huffs after a moment, barely moving back a fraction to speak. "How long you think it's gonna be before people get sick of hearing us say that?"

Cas snorts, which is accompanied by a shrug. "I don't know. But I kinda don't really care, either."

Dean hums, rubbing their noses together with a _me neither_ before going right back in for another kiss.

A kiss that is met in full; in every literal, and figurative sense of the word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *draws a giant chalk heart on the sidewalk* *points to you guys* *smiles for ten billion years*


	68. Chapter 68

_[Received-Dean]_

_are u sleeping yet_

Cas squints at his phone, as the screen is blinding in the darkness of his room.

_[Delivered]_

_no_

_[Received]_

_how long have u been trying?_

He glances at the tiny numbers above the thread.

_[Delivered]_

_like two hours_

_[Received]_

_me too_

Cas smiles, because he had last talked to Dean almost _four_ hours ago, when Dean was trying to finish his homework.

And now it's just past 1:30 in the morning, which means they're both no doubt suffering from similar cases of nerves, as tomorrow marks the end of Brendan's suspension.

_[Received]_

_u even close?_

_[Delivered]_

_not really_

_[Received]_

_me neither_

Then, before he can respond:

_[Received]_

_fuck it. im just gonna come over_

Cas snorts, his smile stretching so wide he can barely see the keyboard as he types back.

_[Delivered]_

_are u sure ur parents wont get mad?_

_[Received]_

_ill leave a note_

_[Delivered]_

_okay_

_[Received]_

_be there in a lil bit_

_[Delivered]_

_ill unlock the door_

_[Received]_

_k. love u_

Butterflies wash over him, and he basks in them for a minute before pushing the covers off, hefting himself from the mattress and flicking the bedside lamp on.

_[Delivered]_

_< 3_

.

The porch light is on when Dean gets there, so he's smiling to himself while he grabs his backpack and makes the short trek to the front steps.

It's eerily quiet and still to his right- where the cemetery is pitch black save for the feeling of a tiny billion eyes calculating his every movement, so he slips through the door as quickly as possible, and promptly locks it behind him.

The light stays on for good measure, of course, then he's climbing the inside stairs two at a time.

That same smile graces his tired features once again, because there, under the covers in a small heap right in the middle of the bed, is Cas; curled and waiting for him.

He drops his bag near the foot of the dresser, then nudges out of his shoes, and tip-toes over to carefully slip beneath the blankets.

"Hey babe," he whispers with a huff when Cas immediately clings to him.

"Y'er cold," Cas mumbles, his voice distorting as he buries his face into the front of Dean's hoodie.

Dean snorts, cradling the back of Cas' head as he situates to get comfortable himself. "Yea, well, it's kinda cold outside so-"

He can tell Cas smiles by the way his ear moves against the side of his hand, and he presses a soft kiss to Cas' hair in response.

"I'm glad you're here," Cas says a moment later, turning a bit so he can be heard more clearly.

"So am I."

"You think tomorrow's gonna be a total shit storm?"

Dean shrugs, cause he really _doesn't_ know. "I dunno, but whatever happens, I know we can handle it together."

He actually sees a part of Cas' smile this time, as well as hears it when Cas says, "We can."


	69. Chapter 69

Cas reaches behind Dean to tap at his phone and silence the alarm currently blaring around them.

Then, he sits up- braced on one hand as he looks down at Dean, who is rubbing at his eyes and blinking up at _him_.

"Hey," Dean grouses with a quirk of his lips heavily riddled with sleep.

Cas smiles. "Hey."

"You still anxious?" Dean asks, lowering his hand to rest on his chest.

Cas takes a moment to just absorb the visual lying beneath him; Dean, soft and warm as he watches him with a gentle, concerned gaze.

It results in Cas' heart flipping, and he shakes his head before lowering himself to press a light kiss to Dean's nose. "Not with you by me."

Dean winces minutely, no doubt at the sting of his septum, then smiles. "Then I guess you'll never be anxious again, huh?"

This earns him a fond huff from Cas as he slings the blanket off of them, and when he makes it over to the dresser, he barely gets the top drawer open before two languidly strong arms wrap around his middle.

"I've honestly," Dean says, only pausing to kiss the back of Cas' neck, "never seen anything hotter than you climbing out of bed next to me in nothing but a ratty t-shirt and underwear."

Cas huffs again, and turns inside Dean's embrace. "That's funny cause I've never seen anything hotter than you underneath me all sleepy in a hoodie with _that_."

He looks pointedly at the tiny gold hoop, to which Dean wiggles it in response as a smile tilts his words. "Speaking of which, I think I need to clean it."

Cas hums, leaning forward to kiss the corner of Dean's mouth. "I'll mix the stuff for you."

Dean grins against his lips. "The stuff, huh?"

" _Jesus_ ," Cas laughs, pulling his head away enough to shake it. "Already?"

Dean shrugs, expression turning devious. ".. but you love me."

At that, Cas loses it, and turns right back around to finish digging in his drawer. "You are so ridiculous. I'm gonna take a shower."

Dean snorts, then briefly splays his hands across Cas' abdomen before disentangling himself to retrieve his bag. "I took one last night. But I can make breakfast while you're in."

Cas glances over as Dean steps out of his sweatpants, and smiles more to himself than anything at the thought that he gets to have this for the rest of his life.

He gets to have Dean.

"Sounds good."

.

As they're leaving the house, Dean wonders idly how opposed Cas would be to just riding to school together every morning.

I mean, he kinda goes by Cas' house already, so it's not like it's that far out of the way. _Plus_ , they always end up having to drop someone's car off, anyway.

It'd be a win/win.

He voices as much once they get in the truck.

"You wanna become my taxi?" Cas asks playfully, clicking his seat belt shut.

Dean rolls his eyes. "Well when you say it like that.."

"I'm just kidding," Cas concedes, reaching out to squeeze Dean's wrist. "If you don't mind, I'd actually really like that."

"Of course I don't mind," Dean says, grabbing Cas' hand before he can put it back in his lap, and kisses his palm. "It was my idea, remember?"

Cas snorts, then reaches up to brush Dean's hair from his forehead, all while Dean's hand is still holding his. "I may be in love, but I don't have short term memory loss."

Dean's breath snags, and Cas grins when he rushes into his space to smash their lips together. "Jesus _fuck_ ," Dean whispers, "do you have any idea what you do to me?"

Cas hums, and nips at his bottom lip. "I'm assuming it's gotta be pretty close to what you do to me, so."

Dean smiles, humming himself, then goes in for another peck, or two, (who's counting?) before straightening so as to finally start the ignition.

"You know," he says thoughtfully, "if we do start riding together, we should probably add like ten.. maybe fifteen minutes to travel time."

Cas frowns at him. "Why?"

Dean nods towards the clock on the stereo, and nearly chuckles when Cas' eyes bug out.

" _Holy shit_ ," Cas breathes. "We're gonna be late."


	70. Chapter 70

In hindsight, Cas doesn't really know why he had let himself get all worked up over the possibility of seeing Brendan.

I mean, sure, first thing this morning, he felt fine.. but then just as they were turning into the school lot, his stomach had to go do that _thing_ again and clench so tight it felt like he was going to throw up.

It was all stupid though, and all for nothing, seeing as how Brendan's not even here.

Dean was just as surprised, because even though they missed the opportunity where they for sure would've seen Brendan before class, he and Dean have second period together.

So when Dean walked in, only to see Brendan's seat still empty, he was thrown in the same boat as Cas.

Confused, yes.. but also very, _very_ relieved.

It's why they grab their lunch (nachos) and make their way to the east stairwell without paying much mind to anyone else.

"You gonna call Elise today?" Dean asks after a few minutes, his mouth full of half chewed food.

Cas nods. "In the off chance she was actually planning on coming home, I'd like to let her know as soon as possible not to bother cause I won't even be here."

"Well, I mean," Dean swallows, reaching over to grab Cas' soda instead of his own.

Cas rolls his eyes.

 _They're the same kind_.

"Don't her parents still live here? Your aunt and uncle?" Dean continues once he's chugged at least a third of it.

Cas falters, ever so slightly, and it's not as though he's _trying_ to hide anything from Dean, but his gut still wrenches when he sees that Dean definitely noticed.

"They do, but.." Cas trails off, his throat suddenly tight from things he hasn't thought about in a lonng time- since even before Dean, but _since_ Dean.. he's been so happy.

So grossly and overwhelmingly happy, that everything else had just.. faded away. Sort of. For the most part.

Dean's watching him, that same gentle concern from this morning now morphed into a more _curious_ concern, which only causes Cas' gut to squeeze more. He clears his throat.

"But we don't really talk to them."

Dean forms a silent 'ah' with his mouth, nodding once. Then, because Dean is so fucking _good_ , and more than Cas ever thought he'd be lucky enough to have, Dean reaches out to grab his hand.

"You don't have to tell me anything that you don't wanna tell me," he holds up his other hand to quiet the rebutting words before they even have a chance of manifesting on Cas' tongue. "Or that you're not ready to. I get it. And I'm not mad, or I'm not gonna be mad- or rather.. _upset_ , if you choose not to tell me now. Or even in five years.. ten years- hell,  _never_. It's cool. I won't love you any less, and I won't go anywhere because of it."

Cas blinks, eyes filling with the blur of wetness he knows is a nanosecond away from spilling over.

"What the fuck," is all he can manage in return, which sadly ends up coming out more like a whisper, anyway.

Dean huffs, raising their hands to kiss his knuckles. "I meant it when I said you're it for me. That includes baggage and all."

"Dean.."

"I'm serious babe, I don't think there's anything that could make me not wanna be with you."

"My family-"

Dean cuts him off. "Uh uh, even if you do wanna tell me everything, now's not the time. Not here, when we have," he taps his phone screen, "five minutes left of lunch."

 _Goddammit_.

"Why are we so fucked up on time today?" Cas asks, already going for another nacho as he sniffs back the threatening emotional over pour.

Dean shrugs, then kisses his knuckles again before dropping his hand. "I dunno, maybe the planets are aligned weird or something."

Cas snorts, shoving the chip into his mouth. "Maybe."

Dean's eyes make a final, calculating sweep of his face, then he goes for a nacho of his own. "It's kinda hot how you can fit a whole chip in your mouth without breaking the edges."

Cas nearly chokes as the laughter punches out of him, and he smacks at his chest while tears of _humor_  begin to blur his vision. " _Jesus Christ!_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3


	71. Chapter 71

When Tuesday, as well as Wednesday prove to be just as Brendan-less as the days previous, Dean decides to just bite the bullet and ask what the hell is up.

He leans across the aisle between he and Meegan's desks, then taps at the top of hers with the tip of his pen. "Hey, so, um, where's Brendan?"

She stares at him like he's speaking another language, and her nose wrinkles in distaste as she takes in his septum ring. "What?"

He barely suppresses the urge to roll his eyes, and tries again. "Why isn't he back yet?"

"Why the hell do you care?" she snaps, earning a few curious glances to sprout up around them.

Okay, so, this was probably not the brightest idea he's ever had, but-

"I _don't_ ," he says, then shakes his head to re-assert his response. "I mean, I'm just wondering when I can get the inevitable over with, you know? Me and Cas are kinda on edge waiting for-"

She scoffs, her gaze narrowing impossibly more, and if Dean thought she looked disgusted before, she really does now. "Fuck off, Dean. I don't care about you or your.. whatever."

Dean flushes hot and defensively at the way she flicks her wrist in dismissal as _whatever_ leaves her tongue. Like Cas is nothing. Like he doesn't matter.

" _Really?_ " he spits. "You can't even refer to my boyfriend as my _boyfriend_? Jesus, Meegan. I knew you were a lot of vastly unpleasant things, but a fucking homophobe wasn't one of 'em."

If looks could kill, the one she unleashes on him at that would definitely send him to an early grave, and she opens her mouth to no doubt sprinkle a little more bullshit on that already ugly retort, when their teachers' voice suddenly booms over them, stopping her short.

"Is there a problem here you two?"

"Uh, no," Dean says, clearing his throat in unison with Meegan flipping her switch from ignorant asshole to sweet, _innocent_ class favorite. "No, Mrs. Moore, no problem at all. I was just telling Dean that it was _none of his business_ whether I finished the assignment or not, and that maybe he should stop being so concerned with everyone else's work, and focus on his own."

She doesn't have to be speaking directly to Dean for him to understand the pointed tone of her words, and he takes the hint just fine.

 _Don't ask again, because you're not getting an answer from me_.

.

Cas has never been the type to linger and watch someone from afar, but it's really hard not to do when that someone is Dean, and he's hunched over a pile of books strewn across the library table so charmingly.

Even from here, Cas can see the tiny furrow wedged between Dean's brows as he reads in deep concentration, and it tugs a soft, almost giddy smile from Cas' lips in return.

 _He's so goddamn cute_.

And it's because of how cute Dean is, and how overwhelmingly _infatuated_ Cas feels, that he doesn't realize he's blocking the end of the row marked Science Fiction A-M until a quiet _ahem_ sounds behind him.

He turns abruptly, face heating at being caught, then ducks his head while mumbling an equally quiet _sorry_ as the girl just grins knowingly at him, and excuses herself to skirt past him.

When he looks back towards the table again, he's met with bright green crinkling around the edges in that same sense of soft giddiness he'd just been experiencing, and tries his best to tame his responding smirk as he makes his way over to join Dean.

"Hey there, big boy," Dean drawls with mock seduction while pulling the chair out beside him for Cas to sit. "See something you like?"

He even has the decency to wriggle his eyebrows and bite his bottom lip as he positions the assaulting orange highlighter he'd been using at a very suggesting angle.

"Oh my god," Cas laughs, shoving Dean playfully in the shoulder to hide the blush that creeps up his neck- which only causes Dean to laugh as well, and drop the highlighter.

He dips forward to brush his lips against Cas' briefly, sweetly- _chastely_ , then murmurs from a few millimeters away in fresh greeting, "Hey baby."

Cas closes his eyes at the new variation of endearment, and smiles as his heart flips in quadruples. "Hi."

A light press of thumb ghosts over his cheek, so he turns his face to kiss Dean's palm, before clearing his throat and saying, "Wanna run flashcards for Trig?"

Dean snorts, then pecks his other cheek. "Yea, you go first this time though."

Cas grins. "Kay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much. Honestly. Not only for sticking around this long, but for being so patient and understanding with the slower posting process. You guys are the best, and I appreciate every heart and word of feedback/reaction left. THANK YOU! <33
> 
> Also: just a heads up, in a few chapters here (I'm not sure how far out) there may be some triggering content as we explore more as to where Brendan is, and get into Cas' past. I'll probably post a note at the top, in which anyone who could be affected by this can dip to the bottom and read the warnings.
> 
> No matter what happens though, nothing with be delved into too explicitly. So, while we will definitely go over what has happened/happens, it won't be in grave, grueling detail. If that makes sense, lol. As always, once again, ya'll are amazing and incredible and I hope you still enjoy reading! :D


	72. Chapter 72

By the time Friday rolls around, and Dean overhears someone talking about how 'they heard Brendan is visiting family in Georgia' as a means of explaining his absence, not only does it set him even _more_ on edge, but it also makes his blood run cold.

Because Brendan doesn't have family in Georgia.

And how does Dean know this for certain, you're wondering? _Because they've been friends since as long as they could walk_ \- probably even before then, too.

So Dean knows every distant cousin, brother, aunt and uncle from here to the other side of the ocean, and it's for this very reason that he drops Cas off with a kiss and _I'll call you later_ , then goes straight home to seek answers in the only place he knows he's going to get them.

His dad.

.

Cas will admit that yes, this whole thing with Brendan _is_ incredibly nerve wracking, as it's looming over their heads like a giant cloud of the unknown, but even if Brendan _had_ shown his face Monday, Cas isn't so sure that it would have alleviated all the previous said wracking of nerves.

Because now that the issue of his family has been broached, more than just the mention of his parents' whereabouts, it keeps swarming back into focus at regular, semi-infuriating intervals.

Part of him wishes he could revert back to the almost delirious happy of last weekend, and the week leading up to it, then just not think about all the bullshit from his past that never fails to make his insides twinge uncomfortably at the mere thought or mention of them.

But, he can't. And it appears that maybe their little honeymoon faze or whatever the hell it is people call it is finally fizzing out around the edges- becoming less secure; _more vulnerable_.

Not to say that he and Dean aren't disgustingly, _inexorably_ happy, or any less united or in love than they have been since the get, but the inevitable of the real world bleeding through and infiltrating their tiny bubble of _them_ is happening loud and _fast_.

So fast, in fact, that Cas doesn't even register that he's been sitting on the couch in the dark until he hears the front door click open and the familiar footfall of Dean's sneakered gait as it hurriedly crosses into the living room from the hall.

Cas looks up just as Dean drops to one knee in front of him, and the tears brimming his pained eyes makes Cas' heart lodge in his throat. "Baby, it's bad."


	73. Chapter 73

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please see end notes for possible trigger warnings. <3

"He.. what?" Cas says dazedly, trying to process the words that Dean had just spoken, because there's no way they can be true.

Because, no matter how much of an actual living hell Brendan has made Cas' life, he'd never wish this on anyone.

For any reason.

"He was in an accident," Dean repeats, a few tears now spilling over to leave glistening tracks down his cheeks.

Cas reaches out to brush them away, and feels his own eyes well up. "How?"

Dean shakes his head, clutching Cas' wrist to hold his hand in place. "I don't know. I mean, sometime Friday night before the game. After-" he cuts off to swallow wetly. "He was in a coma, babe. He was legit unconscious for like three days."

Cas' stomach plummets impossibly further.

" _Oh my god_ ," he breathes, blinking through his blurring vision. "That's why-"

Dean nods, a strangled huff escaping his obviously constricted throat. "The guys took extra care to kick my ass at the game."

And that _shatters_ Cas, that Dean could think for even a second that-

"Dean this isn't your fault."

"I know," Dean says, voice thick as he nods again. "I know. But, _fuck_ babe. This is-"

"I know, baby," Cas soothes, running his thumb along Dean's cheek. "But he's.."

Cas trails off, unsure how to poise the question because it's too hard to form the words. Too hard to think or even imagine-

"Yea," Dean sputters. "Yea, he's fine. I mean, he's not _fine_ \- but, he's gonna recover. He _is_ recovering."

Cas pulls in a shaky breath, nodding slowly in relief as he does so. "Okay. Good. That's good."

They're silent for a moment, but Dean's eventual whisper might as well be blared through a loud-speaker for the impact it carries along with it. ".. he could have died."

.

"Why didn't we hear anything about it?" Cas asks quietly some time later, when they're no longer crouched and huddled in a weird sort of pretzel on the floor/couch, but _fully_ on the couch and curled around each other.

Dean blinks up at the ceiling- at the shadows he knows aren't moving, but only seem so because there's no other light to tell him otherwise. "I dunno. I mean, I'm guessing it's cause Brendan's dad has friends at the police station, and newspaper, so they must have kept it hush for obvious reasons."

".. cause Brendan had been drinking, and given that there was already controversy sure to stir from being suspended/kicked off the team, they didn't wanna risk putting his future/legacy in anymore jeopardy than it already was," Cas supplies softly, the pads of his fingertips dancing lightly across Dean's.

"Bingo."

"We should go see him," Cas says next, not only surprising Dean in the most unexpected of ways possible, but also making him fall in love that much more.

"I'm pretty sure we're the last people he'd wanna see," Dean murmurs, closing his fingers around Cas' and bringing them to his mouth to kiss them. "Or if he can even have visitors yet. But, I'll pass it on to my dad.. and we'll go from there."

He feels Cas nod beside him, then smiles a little when Cas presses a delicate kiss to his temple. "Please don't blame yourself for this, Dean," Cas whispers, replacing his lips with a gentle nudge of his forehead. "As much as this sucks, and as much as we might wish we could change the outcome, none of that matters if Brendan is still the one calling the shots for Brendan."

"I know," Dean whispers back, clutching Cas' hand a bit tighter.

"We can't make other people's decisions for them. And while we can definitely influence them, in the end it's still their decision to make."

"I just wanna make it right," Dean says, wondering how all of this would be so much different if Brendan wasn't such a total fucking asshole and just owned up to how shitty he'd been to people. To Dean.

 _To Cas_.

"We will," Cas assures, kissing his cheek now. "And if he still doesn't wanna have anything to do with it, well, then, at least our slates will be clean."

Dean huffs. "Kinda fucked up how the only thing we did was just shed light onto all the crappy things _he's_ done."

Cas smiles dolefully against his skin. "That's how empathy works, though. Just cause we didn't do anything worthy of punishment or reprimand, doesn't mean we can't still be upset by the the unfortunate events that followed as a result of such, on the behalf of someone else."

"You're such a good person, Cas," Dean says 100% truthfully and honestly. Reverently. Because regardless of all the times Brendan left Cas bruised, battered and no doubt fractured, here he is still mourning over the fact that Brendan got blitzed after _being held accountable for said bruises, batterings and fractures_ , then crashed his car into a ditch.

"So are you," Cas responds without missing a beat. "And, fuck," he huffs, nuzzling his face into the side of Dean's neck. "I'm sure somewhere under the layers and layers.. _and layers_ of gross, vile, disrespectful and totally awful personality traits Brendan possesses, that maybe he's a good person, too."

Dean outright snorts at that. "Yea, maybe."

"Well," Cas says thoughtfully. "Surely somewhere in the eighteen years of friendship between you guys, he'd shown that he was at least _partially_ human, right? Like, with feelings, and aspirations? Compassion, even?"

Dean's lingering smile turns rueful. "Yea, there've been times."

"He wasn't _always_ such an aggressive asshole, was he?"

Dean shakes his head. "He's always had a superiority complex, and definitely wasn't the best friend in the world, but no, he wasn't always such a raging dick."

"Then I wonder what happened," Cas murmurs, hints of a yawn tugging at the words.

Dean shrugs. "When you've got people constantly telling you how big of a star you are, and things are handed to you left and right, it kinda goes to your head. Add the fact that his dad has major strings and his family is loaded, well-"

Cas is quiet for a moment, and Dean wonders if he's starting to doze off when a chaste, _sweet_ kiss is pressed to the dip of his neck. "You turned out alright, though."

Dean's not sure why this winds him the way it does, but it does, and he swallows at the thickness it leaves at the back of his tongue, then turns onto his side to scoop Cas up fully in his arms. "Yea, but the big difference here is that I never even wanted it in the first place."

Cas falls silent again, long enough this time that Dean is _certain_ he's fallen asleep, when he whispers some ten minutes later, his voice barely even audible as it grazes Dean's skin, ".. but everyone deserves a second chance."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possible trigger warnings pertaining to Brendan: mentions of drunk driving resulting in an accident, which leaves him in a coma for a short period of time, and unspecified injuries of which he is currently mending.
> 
> Now, regular ol' end of chapter notes from yours truly: this is probably the longest chapter I've posted as of yet? Like, holy crap I got to the end and was just.. *blink blink* ..how? lol! Anyway, you all know by now how Overwhelmed TM I get with with lengthy bodies of text, so, if you spot an error or inconsistency, please don't hesitate to point it out! Thank you so much, and as always, YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST! <3


	74. Chapter 74

Sometime through the night, they moved from the couch to Cas' bed, so that's why Cas wakes up a few hours later to his back pressed against Dean's arm.

He looks over his shoulder after a slight shift, and frowns. "Ev'rything okay?"

Dean glances at him and nods, a tiny smile pulling at the corner of his mouth that indicates he's been awake a while. "Yea, just talkin' to my dad."

Cas hums, then wriggles so he can flip himself over to his other side. "He find out yet?"

"Not definitively, but it kinda sounds like we might be able to go see Brendan tomorrow."

Cas hums again, then reaches out to lightly trace along Dean's cheekbone. "That'd be nice."

Dean's smile softens, and he tries to kiss Cas' palm, but mostly just ends up getting his wrist. "It would. Also, Sammy's b-day money is kinda burnin' a whole in his pocket so he was wondering if we could bring him and his friend to the mall today."

Cas snorts, shaking his head fondly. "Yea, that actually sounds like it'd be kinda fun. And I need new shoes before the weather gets worse anyway."

"That, you do," Dean agrees, now leaning down to try and kiss Cas' nose instead.

"I'm still keeping the old one's though," Cas says, grinning sleepily when Dean succeeds. "You know, for summer. Extra ventilation and all that stuff."

" _Oh my god_."

.

It always takes a couple minutes to get acclimated with someone else's shower the first time you use it, and this is probably the excuse that Dean is going to go with for why he's taking so long in here, but the truth be told.. he's just too busy sniffing all of Cas' soaps and shampoos.

Not to say that there are a lot of them or anything- only a couple of each, but still.

It's all Cas, and Dean has this dumb, goofy smile on his face as he lathers up his increasingly shaggy hair with some fancy sparkly purple stuff that smells like lavender and something else equally as enticingly sweet, because now _he's_ gonna smell like Cas, too.

And I mean, who ever thought he'd be such a gross sap about this stuff?

He sure as hell didn't.

Yea, okay, fair enough, I'm sure you all did.

But _he_ didn't.

That doesn't mean he's not fucking loving it, though.

Because he _is_.

So much.

Just, don't tell anyone.. alright?

Especially Cas.

Cool.

Glad we have an understanding, here.

Oh, and also.. maybe don't mention the spiky sudsy thing he's doing with his hair right now, either?

Awesome.

Cool.

 _Cool cool cool_.

.

Cas wonders, as he stares into the practically empty fridge, if Dean would be alright with stopping at the grocery store on the way back from the mall.

Just for a few things, though. Essentials. Cause the last thing on his mind this week was re-stocking the kitchen, what with everything else that has been going on.

Now he's barely got enough to scrape together a decent breakfast for two.

Shit, maybe he should just make coffee for the time being and offer to buy bagels or something on their way to get Sam.

 _Yea_ , he thinks, eyes flitting from the small, lone egg in the carton, to the sad brick of cheese, then the wilted tomato.. _bagels sound freaking amazing_.

.

Dean pauses on the squishy mat once he steps out of the tub, fingers still clutching the loud, abstract patterned curtain, and snorts at the big, loopy letters swirled across the mirror through the steam:

 _FORGET SOMETHING?_ they read, complete with a curved arrow pointing downwards to a pile of clothes perched at the edge of the counter.

His smile stretches wide and goofy yet again when he spots not one of his own shirts from the slowly accumulating collection lining Cas' drawers, but one of Cas'.

Dean's favorite of Cas', actually, and a pair of boxers Dean hadn't realized he'd left behind.

But he must have, because there they are, folded neatly atop it all.

 _Fuck_ , his mind huffs- that warm, gooey calm washing over him from head to toe as if he were still standing under the hot stream, _this is totally my reality now. My literal_ forever _._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D
> 
> Sidenote: the 'extra ventilation' excuse is one I've literally used before for justification of not throwing shoes out lol. *insert self-channeling here*


	75. Chapter 75

They're sitting in Dean's truck, hoffing down their bagels, when a soft knock taps at Dean's window, thus pulling both their attentions to the source of the noise.

It's Sam, and he waits patiently for Dean to roll the window down, then ask, "What's up?"

Cas peers around Dean so he can see Sam, too; careful not to spill his cream cheese on Dean's seat.

"Mom wants you to come in real quick," Sam answers, his hood pulled up over his head to guard the chill ripping through the air.

"For what?" Dean asks, swallowing thickly at the mouthful he'd been chewing.

Sam shrugs. "I dunno, she just said she wanted to talk to you guys before we left."

Cas' stomach starts to sink, because the only thing he can think of that Mary could possibly want to talk to them both about, is this situation with Brendan.

He swallows his bite just as thickly as Dean had, and when Dean glances at him, it makes his stomach sink a little more. Dean looks just as confused/hesitant as _he_ feels.

"Okay," Dean says, turning the ignition off.

Cas holds his bagel between his teeth so he can unbuckle, then hops out to follow Sam and Dean into the house.

Mary's waiting for them in the foyer, and the first thing she does is scoop them up into a giant, warm hug.

"Hey, sweeties," she coos, squeezing them gently before stepping back.

Her smile doesn't match what Cas had been expecting, and when she holds out a credit card for Dean to take, he gets even _more_ confused.

.

"What's this for?" Dean asks, brows scrunching as he takes his mom's platinum.

"I thought since you were going to be at the mall anyway, you might want to get some new clothes for Florida? I'm sure your summer stuff will still be just fine, but Sam's grown like a weed the past few months so he's going to need all new."

"Oh," Dean huffs, grabbing for his wallet to put the card away. He hadn't thought about that. "Thanks."

"Feel free to get whatever you'd like too, alright Cas?" his mom says then, bringing his focus back up, as well as causing a wide, fond smile to bloom across his face.

"Oh, I uh-" Cas starts, his cheeks flushing as he scratches the side of his head.

_He hadn't thought about it either_.

"You don't have to do- that's fine, I'm oka-"

"Please hun, it's no bother," his mom insists, reaching out to touch Cas' arm reassuringly. "We're going to be there for two and a half weeks, and I want to make sure you're comfortable. Plus seeing as how you're part of the family now, as well as a guest on our behalf, I wouldn't want to make you or your cousin pay for a new wardrobe better suited for warm- well, _hot_ weather," she huffs, her smile gleaming towards one that shows she knows she's won her argument.

"I.." Cas trails, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth, then nods in acceptance. "Thank you."

"Of course, hunny. If you don't have a tie or anything either, be sure to get those too, okay?"

"Okay."

"Alright, then have fun you boys. Don't forget to make a plan if you split up, and stop for lunch at some point soon. Okay?"

"Okay, mom," Dean and Sam say in unison as Cas murmurs an _okay_ as well.

"Love you, and drive safe," she says while they turn to file through the door, then gets three separate _we will, love you too_ 's in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was asked if we'd see more Cas/Mary interactions at some point, and well, while I'm still pretty uncertain with how things are going to pan out in the future, and was going to have Dean being given his parents credit card more as like a mention than anything, I figured, why the hell not include a lil interaction right there lol. Hope this delivered, and thanks for spurring it into a bit more than I'd envisioned <3
> 
> *whispers* you guys are honestly the best audience and I am so entirely appreciative/thankful to be sharing this with such a receptive group like, frickin' /thank you/. so much. :D


	76. Chapter 76

"I am not trying that on," Cas says, crossing his arms in front of him while doing his best to keep his face neutral.

"Babe, c'mon, you have to," Dean presses through a strained huff- his laughter practically bursting out with each word.

"Yea, c'mon Cas, do it," Sammy chimes in as his friend, Jackson, nods enthusiastically beside him.

 _Jesus Christ_.

"You guys.."

"Please," all three of them plead, making Cas roll his eyes with only half feigned exasperation.

"Fine," he sighs, ripping the hanger from Dean's grip. "I'm gonna look like a douche, though, so-"

"No you're not," Dean says, muffling his laughter by biting his lip.

"I think it'd look kinda cool," Sam says, and Jackson nods again, adding, "Yea, it'd totally look awesome on you!"

"And I think you're all high," Cas comments, then turns around to slip into the dressing room so modestly tapered off by an over-sized heavy, burgundy curtain.

He's only ever been in this store like, twice before. And the offensive black garment poised in his grasp is one of the very reasons he never opted to come back.

The other reason is because everything is so fucking expensive.

Who the hell wants to spend, or is _willing_ to spend like fifty dollars on a t-shirt?

He isn't.

Or ever has been.

But Sam, Dean, and Jackson insisted on stopping in, just to see what they had left of their shorts/summer collection (which is actually quite a lot), so who was Cas to deny them when he wasn't planning on getting anything, anyway?

Except now that he's tugging his own shirt off, and can hear them murmuring around lighthearted snickering on the other side of the curtain, he's regretting his decision.

Even if he is on the verge of snickering himself.

.

"This is so dumb," Cas says as he throws the curtain back, keeping one arm outstretched with the thick fabric bunched in his hand. "Who even wears crop tops in real life?"

And, ya know, Dean _would_ supply his hot, perfect, amazing incredible gorgeous boyfriend with an answer to that simple question.. if he could, you know, _talk_.

"You.."

"Oh my god!" Sammy and Jackson explode, clapping excitedly before clamping their hands over their mouths to cap the outbursts. But the damage is already done because everyone in the immediate area looks at them to see what the commotion is.

Dean watches while Cas flushes, then tries to tug the hem of the shirt down to cover whatever he can of his exposed abdomen.

It doesn't work, and Dean flushes a bit himself because yea he's definitely experiencing an array of conflicting emotions all at once ranging from pride, arousal, amusement, slight possessiveness, embarrassment.. to deep, unbridled affection- and that's a lot to take in when you've got like ten other sets of eyes watching the entire spectacle unfold.

So he goes with his instincts, and steps forward to slide his hands over Cas' sides, then pull him into a hug to cover as much as he can with his arms.

"I think you should get it," he murmurs, letting his lips ghost along Cas' cheek before stopping at his ear. "Even if you only wear it to bed."

Cas huffs, relaxing under the gesture, and ducks his head so that his forehead rests on Dean's shoulder. "You're being serious right now?"

"Uh, _yea_ ," Dean smiles, kissing Cas' ear. "You look hot, babe. And it suits you perfectly."

Cas snorts, then shakes his head. "It says _Soft_ , Dean. With a trademark symbol next to it. How is that-"

Someone clears their throat behind them, and Dean glances over his shoulder to see Sam and Jackson smiling at them. "We're gonna go look at the shoes. So don't think you lost us or anything."

Dean huffs, and he doesn't have to be looking at Cas to know that he's smiling as well. "Roger that. We'll be over in a second."

"Kay."

When Dean turns back, Cas isn't quite so red, and from his peripheral he can tell the curious bystanders have gone back to their browsing.

"You really like it?" Cas asks, a tiny, amused twinkle in his eye.

"Very much."

"You know this is going to be like the biggest waste of money ever, right?"

Dean grins, shaking his own head. "Not if it makes you smile like that, and not if I get to look at you smiling like that while you're wearing it. I'll even pay for it with my own cash. How about that?"

Cas presses his lips together to hide his smirk, but it's a useless feat. "You're ridiculous."

"But I love you."

Cas pauses with his mouth open like he was going to snuff the anticipated retort, then grins full on at Dean's twist of words. "And I love you."

"Mm," Dean hums, nudging Cas' nose with his. "My favorite phrase in the whole entire universe."

"Ridiculous," Cas whispers, tipping his chin to bump their noses again.

"Amazing," Dean counters, squeezing Cas' back in tandem.

"Ugh," Cas breathes, gently pushing at Dean's chest. "You're making me get all flustered."

Dean laughs, and steps away so Cas can gather himself. "God, you're so fucking cute."

"Shhh," Cas huffs around a dopey grin, before quickly shrouding himself behind the curtain again. "Go find Sam and Jackson, I'll meet you over there."

"Haha!" Dean tosses his head back as a chuckle rips through him. "You're blushing, aren't you?"

"No."

"Liar."

" _Dean_."

"Fine. I'm going, I'm going."

And he does.

He may or may not grab another one of those crop top thingies from the rack as he passes; this one in white instead of black, and with a muted floral print in place of white letters curved into the shape of a smiley face.

 _Perfect_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is straight crack and I apologize for nothing. ;D


	77. Chapter 77

"Do you like this one?" Dean asks, holding up a pale aqua tie with subtle white, pink and orange diagonal lines on it.

Cas nods. "Yea, that's nice. It looks soft."

He reaches out to touch it, and smiles when he finds that it is in fact, soft. It must be silk.

"I wonder if they have a matching bow tie for me," Dean says, turning to examine the display a few feet away.

Cas follows, and stops just behind him. "Why does it have to match?"

Dean tosses an incredulous stare over his shoulder. "Because we can't not match."

Cas grins. "We're gonna coordinate?"

"Well, duh," Dean says, returning to his browsing. Then, a second later, "They don't have the right shade of blue, though."

Cas presses his lips together in attempt to stifle his smile. "It doesn't have to be exact."

"Yes it does," Dean retorts, not even bothering to look away from the accessories in his hands. "Maybe we should go with purple," he says, glancing between the display of bow ties and the rack of ties. "Those are a lot closer."

Cas hums in agreement, afraid his voice will betray him if he speaks.

 _I cannot believe Dean is fussing over_ tie _colors_.

"Or the coral is good, too. Did you like that one?" Dean asks then, turning all of the sudden and bumping right into him. His eyes narrow. "Why are you laughing?"

"I'm not."

"But you're smiling all-" he wiggles his fingers towards Cas' face in indication that it's twinkling.

Cas cracks, and grins full on. "Cause you make me so happy."

At that Dean's cheeks flush, and he ducks his head to hide it. "Jesus."

Cas gasps dramatically, clutching his chest in faux surprise while he dips to catch Dean's gaze. "Are you.. are you _blushing_?"

"No."

"Liar!"

"Shut up."

Cas grins wide again, (as if it ever waned, pfft) then leans in so he can kiss the corner of Dean's mouth. "But.. I like it when you blush, though."

" _Babe_."

"Okay, okay- I'm sorry," Cas laughs, pecking Dean once more before reaching around him to grab the coral bow tie. He holds it up to Dean's neck when he straightens. "Yea, I like this one. It really makes your freckles pop."

"Babe!"

.

"I honestly never knew someone could look so freaking hot in a pair of burgundy board shorts before."

"Do you like them?" Cas asks, turning in a half circle to see his backside in the mirror lining the wall outside the dressing rooms.

"Uh, _yea_ ," Dean says, shifting in the plush, burnt orange chair beside it, because he'd just gotten a full glimpse of the way the thin, white horizontal stripes obscure from Cas' curves. "And not just cause you have an amazing ass. They actually are cute."

Cas snorts, then shakes his head fondly. "They are. I think I'm gonna get 'em."

"Wise choice."

.

"Wow, that is so cool," Cas hears Jackson say, just before Sam chimes in with, "I know. I just wish it wasn't so expensive. Do you know how-"

"What's cool?" Cas asks, leaning over their shoulders to peek between them and see what they're talking about.

Oh.

That _is_ cool.

"No way," Cas says, taking the box as Sammy holds it up to him, mouth dropping open in awe while his eyes dart excitedly around the front of it.

"The pieces are _gold_ ," Sam laments, sounding more forlorn than he ought to cause-

"Holy shit," Cas breathes when he spots the price tag. "Why is it two hundred dollars?"

"Cause the pieces are _gold_ ," Jackson and Sam say in unison, craning their necks to peer at him at an amusing angle.

"What pieces are gold?" Dean asks in that moment, sidling right up behind him to slot perfectly back to chest.

Cas tips the box so Dean can read it.

"No shit!" Dean all but squee's, yanking it from his grip and causing him to crane his neck as well to watch Dean admire it in the same reverence they just had been.

 _What the_ -

"We should get it," Dean says abruptly, turning the box over to examine the other side. "This is so fucking cool."

Cas huffs in disbelief just as Sam darts into his peripheral like a hyperactive bird. "Really?!"

"Hell yea," Dean affirms, glancing from the box to them. "What, were you.. _not_ going to?"

"It's two hundred dollars," all three of them say now, and the hilarity of this entire scene is making Cas feel like he's in a goddamn movie.

"Not if we all chip in," Dean states like it's obvious. "Then it will kinda just be communal. Plus, I mean, we'd probably all play it together anyway, so."

He shrugs, and there's a beat of silence before three rushed _okay's_ respond to his logic.

That's how they end up leaving the bookstore with a super fancy, limited edition, really fucking awesome wizarding board game with _solid gold pieces_.

Solid gold pieces that have already been called dibs on before they even make it to the car.

And, not to brag, but.. Cas got the hat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, THANK YOU! Second of all, I know it was a while ago, but I was really _really_ excited about this chapter cause remember before homecoming and Dean was all 'it doesn't have to be the exact color' blah blah when Kennedy was going on and on about his tie matching her dress? Well- YEA! *heart eyes for ten billion years*


	78. Chapter 78

"We should make that veggie lasagna stuff again," Dean says idly, pausing the cart in front of the display of tomatoes.

"You really liked it?" Cas asks, taking a moment to indulge in the very perfect.. very _picturesque_ image of Dean leisurely testing out produce whilst talking about what they're going to make for dinner.

It's unreal.

 _Domestic_.

They were just supposed to be getting necessities. The bare minimum. Enough for Cas to glide by until he could go _actual_ shopping by himself.

"Heck yea," Dean looks at him after tossing two plump tomatoes in the child's seat portion of the cart. "That shit was delicious. And you can teach me this time so that way it's not always on you."

Cas grins, unable to help himself as he steps forward to simultaneously yank a produce bag off the roll and kiss Dean on his cheek. "How do you manage to turn me to mush by suggesting something as simple as cooking together?"

Dean returns the grin cheekily, and shrugs "Special talent."

He dips in to kiss Cas straight on the lips, and Cas only has about a second to flush before someone politely clears their throat behind them.

"The organic Heirloom's are on sale this week," a sweet, elderly women says while pointing to the rack just beside the one they're standing in front of.

There's a soft smile on her face, and if it weren't for that, or the definite recognition in her eyes, Cas would be wishing for the floor to open up and swallow them both.

"Thank you," they say in unison while ducking into each other, to which she just nods, then continues on her merry way.

" _Oh my god_ ," both of them huff through embarrassed giggles once she's totally out of sight. ".. _oh my god._ "

.

"What the hell is.." Dean squints, tipping the bottle closer so he can read the description better, "non-modified coconut extract infused mineral life water with vitamins and enhancers?"

Cas snorts, then shrugs from the opposite side of the aisle. "I don't know. But I'm guessing just.. coconut water?"

"Then why don't they just say that?"

"Because it doesn't sound as fancy."

"Well that's dumb."

He still tosses it in the cart anyway- which is nearly three quarters full now, and it's not until it rolls off the top of the last _five_ things he's put in there that he realizes he's been adding to the cart as if he's shopping, too.

As if they're doing it together.

For them.

For a house of which they do not have.

Well.. yet, at least.

He flushes from head to toe, and fidgets with the plastic lined handle, wondering how the _hell_ he-

"Have you ever had these before?" Cas asks then, pulling him out of his slightly mortified stupor before he can plummet further into it.

"Uh.. no," he says, examining the box of baked cheddar snacks that Cas is holding up. "I haven't."

"I'm gonna get 'em," Cas concedes, dropping them in next to Dean's coconut water, then glances up at him. "Will you grab me one of those too? Non-modified coconut extract mineral life water with vitamins and enhancers actually sounds very refreshing."

Dean snorts, and instantly relaxes- chastising himself for allowing him to for even a minute doubt or second-guess his actions.

Because they _are_ doing it together.

There's never not going to _be_ a together, as this is it. For both of them.

"It's extract _infused_ , babe.. _infused_ ," Dean stresses lightly- teasing, while slipping another bottle in next to his, and an arm around Cas' waist when he moves to stand closer.

"Oh, sorry," Cas says with feigned sincerity, wrapping an arm around Dean's waist in kind. "I'd forgotten you have a Ph.D in different types of water species. My _deepest_ apologies. Please do forgive me."

Dean guffaws at that, head knocking back between his shoulders as the sudden, _exuberant_ laughter wracks through him. "I fuckin' love you."

"Mm," Cas hums, obviously pleased with the reaction he was able to lure from him, and curls in on him once again to nuzzle just beneath his ear. "And I love you," he whispers, kissing gently in it's place.

Dean's heart stutters, then flips, and he holds Cas a little tighter as they begin to meander down the aisle again. "We should watch a movie, later," he suggests when they pass the popcorn selection.

"That sounds like an excellent idea," Cas agrees, then reaches forward to slide a box of microwavable extra-buttery pop-up buckets from the shelf, and sets it next to the bags of produce. "After we eat, though."

"Well, obviously."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just really needed some Fluff. As I know all of you do, too. <3


	79. Chapter 79

"I can't believe you actually bought this," Cas says, plucking the hem of Dean's ridiculous ass crop top before running his hand underneath.

I mean, it has a floral print _smiley face_ on it for Christ's sake.

Dean snorts. "Yea, well, if you were getting that one, then I figured it was only fair."

Cas hums, pecking the sensitive skin below Dean's ear. "I'm not saying I'm upset about it or anything."

"I can tell."

Cas grins, then slings his leg further across Dean's thighs. "Can you?"

Now _Dean_ hums, slotting his hands into place on either of Cas' hips while he settles in. "Oh yea."

He's got a cocky smile on his face and ya know, Cas _was_ ready to fire right back with a coy, witty retort. But having Dean laid out beneath him like this, wearing that, while _looking_ at him like that, well..

"What is it?" Dean asks softly a few beats later, fingertips dancing gently along the band of Cas' underwear.

"You're so.. just, _beautiful_."

"Babe," Dean whispers, slowly sliding his palms up Cas' sides. "C'mere."

And Cas does, bracketing Dean's face between his own palms, and welcoming the warm press of lips that follows.

.

Dean's not sure why he suggested such an early time to go visit Brendan, as literally _any_ time after noon would have sufficed, but now Cas' alarm is blaring loudly in his ear, and luring him from a sleep he feels as if he's just drifted off to.

Because he kinda actually _did_.

They stayed up way later than they should have watching movies, and then even later doing other.. things.

" _Ugh_ ," he groans, reaching out in attempt to blindly silence it. "Why am I such an idiot?"

"Why're you an idiot?" Cas' voice comes mumbled from somewhere between his shoulders.

It's slurred and heavy, and Dean knows Cas is right there in the same boat with him.

"Cause I told my dad we'd be at Brendan's by ten."

"Yea.." Cas cuts off to yawn, "that was kinda dumb. But doesn't mean you're an idiot."

"Thanks, babe," Dean huffs, rubbing at his eye with the hook of his thumb.

"Anytime," Cas mumbles again, pushing a chaste kiss to the back of Dean's neck. "I gotta pee though, so move."

"Sheesh, glad to see our honeymoon stage _is_ actually over."

"Shut up," Cas says with an audible smile, then smacks him on the ass when he scoots off the bed to let him out. "Can you put coffee on?"

"Yea, yea," Dean mirrors said smile. "Anything for you, _darling_."

Cas doesn't dignify that with a response, but instead just flicks him off before turning out into the hall.

Dean snorts. "Love you, too!"

"Coffee, Dean!"

Fuck, being in love is the  _greatest_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Firstly, I just want to say thank you, yet again, for not only continuing to read this story as I erratically, and inconsistently post, but for also continuing to comment and leave such lovely feedback/compliments. It's honestly the best, and I can't express how much it means to me. So, thank you.
> 
> Secondly, life has been crazy hectic, and a freaking roller coaster, so I really try my best to write chapters/updates when I have a clear mind and can focus on the current moment at hand. I sort of feel as if my writing style has morphed somehow, though? But I don't know if that's just me lol. Anyway, you guys are the greatest, and nothing but <3' to you!


	80. Chapter 80

Dean didn't think there was anything else that could possibly surprise him about Cas and this whole Brendan situation, but apparently, he was wrong.

Very.

Because not only did Cas fuss over what to wear and end up going with his nicest cardigan (his words, not Dean's), but he also suggested they stop to get flowers on the way.

Now, Dean's never considered himself a small person before. Or one to be crude or unsympathetic. But if Brendan had done half of _half_ of the shit to him, that he'd done to Cas, the last thing he'd be doing would be bringing the bastard flowers in his best dressed.

He'd send a card, maybe. Or tell Brendan he was sorry about what happened when he got back to school- but that's it.

And that, is just one of the many, _many_ reasons why Cas is so fucking amazing.

He's got a heart of gold that's bigger than the sun itself, and anyone who gets to be on the receiving end of his gestures of kindness.. or love, should consider themselves lucky.

Dean sure does.

Every single day since Cas started giving him the time.

But you guys already all know that. No sense in beating a dead horse here.

He just- _he's_ _so happy_.

So, so.. _so_ incredibly happy, that despite the fact that they're probably about to walk into a major freaking shitstorm, he's glad that he's not doing it alone.

That they're doing this  _together_.

Not only for themselves, but for the other, too.

And, well.. here we go.

.

"What if this was a bad-"

Cas' words, as well as his sudden apprehension get cut short when the large, crystal-etched glass door opens to an older, smiling blonde woman who looks like she deserves to be on the arm of a very wealthy businessman.

No doubt she's Brendan's mom.

"Oh, Dean!" she sing-songs, daintily pressing her manicured fingers to her chest before stepping forward to scoop him up into her arms. "Oh, hunny, it's been so long! It's so good to see you."

Cas shifts awkwardly on the smooth concrete stair as they hug it out beside him, then looks down at the bouquet of wildflowers in his hand, and wonders if maybe he shouldn't have-

"And you must be Cas," she says next, pulling his attention right back up.

Uh..

He opens his mouth to confirm that, yes, he is, when she steps into _his_ space and wraps her arms around him, too- successfully shutting him up. Again.

"It's so nice to meet you."

"Um, you.. too," he replies, confusion at the unexpected welcome slowing his words to a drawl.

What is she..

She pats him on the back in the most textbook manner possible, then moves away to get a better look at him.

"It's so lovely of you boys to do this. He's only had a few visitors since he's been home, and I know he's looking forward to seeing you."

"He.. is?" Dean asks tepidly, sounding just as unconvinced as Cas feels.

There's no way-

"Of course, hunny. You're still his best friend," she answers, further launching Cas' confusion even more out into orbit because _what_?!

How does she figure-

"Ah, you're already here," a new voice comes from behind them then; one that surprisingly soothes Cas' nerves instantly.

_Comforts_ him.

Both he and Dean turn just in time to see John approaching the front step. "I thought you boys would've wanted to wait for me."

"Oh," they say in unison, then glance out of the corner of their eyes to share a small smile.

They _should_ have waited for John.

It would have probably made this whole encounter much less awkward.

And maybe even less confusing, too.

"Well, shall we then?" he says to the woman now, who somehow doesn't seem quite as friendly as before as she answers:

"Right this way," while gesturing into the house.

She guides them inside, and it doesn't really hit Cas until they're passing the massive living room that he's _inside Brendan Malowski's house_ , and his heart rate _just_ begins to pick up in pace again when a warm, supportive hand fits to the dip of his lower back.

Dean.

He looks over to meet attentive, green eyes, then drifts that much closer to snake an arm around Dean's waist, as well.

Dean leans in to press a soft kiss to his temple, and before the whispered words even reach his ears, he knows them to be true.

" _We've got this_."


	81. Chapter 81

Dean had suspected that Lucas would end up sugarcoating everything that caused Brendan's suspension/ban from sports on behalf of his wife, and to save face, but what he _hadn't_ expected, was for Jeanie to be so completely out of the loop.

Her hostility towards his dad isn't anything new though, and Dean can only guess it's increase is due to her believing John to be the sole reason Brendan was suspended and kicked off the team in the first place.

It's just like her to entirely overlook anything that could possibly tarnish her son's character or reputation as boys being boys, or teens being teens.

It also even explains her warm (for her) welcome to Cas.

And while that was nice and all, it irks Dean that she still fails to see the big issue here:

That Brendan played a big, if not the _biggest_ part in making Cas' life at school a living hell.

The least she could do is recognize that and apologize, right?

Ugh.

Just-

He takes Cas' hand when they meet up with Lucas in hall, and after John continues to follow him further down towards his study to no doubt talk, Dean leads Cas up the stairs.

He's about to spring a damn ulcer if they don't get this over with. Quickly. Because regardless of Jeanie's blase attitude about the (what he thought was) heavy situation, her words of 'you're still his best friend' keep ringing high in his ears.

He's gotta know what the hell that was about, and honestly can't wait another second.

.

Not that Cas has ever imagined what Brendan's room would look like or anything, but what they walk into is pretty much exactly what he would have come up with if he had.

Every jock's wet dream in physical form.

Endless sports paraphernalia litter the walls and any viable surface for trinkets. There's a leather couch, as well as _gigantic_ flat screen tv divvied up in one corner, and a solid wood desk with large, plush study chair in the other.

Then, taking up the entire other side of the room, is a king sized bed in a sturdy sleigh frame that matches both the desk and game console, where Brendan's bandaged body is propped against the sea of pillows.

He's wearing an expression Cas has never seen before, and for a second he almost forgets every horrible thing he'd ever had to endure at the hands of the very boy staring back at him.

"Hey," Brendan says quietly, lifting an arm stiff with a bright yellow cast to give his best wave.

He looks so sheepish that it has Cas walking around Dean to move deeper into the room. "Hey."

"I'm surprised you guys actually came."

"Yea, well.." Dean says behind him, voice getting louder as he moves closer, too.

That same reassuring hand fits itself into the dip of Cas' back, and he melts into it.

A semi-tense lull falls around them, which is only broken a few beats later when Brendan clears his throat. "Are those for me?"

Cas starts, having almost forgotten the flowers in his hand, then ducks his head as his cheeks flush red. "Yea. They are.."

"You brought me flowers?"

It's not the question itself that has Cas peeking up through his lashes, but more the total lack of the ever present icy tone Brendan usually resorts to when addressing Cas.

 _What the fuck_.

"We did."

And, shit. If Cas didn't know any better, he'd say Brendan was about to cry.

"I don't deserve those."

....

"What do you mea-" Dean starts, but is stopped short when Brendan speaks over him.

"I don't even deserve you visiting right now."

Um..

Cas shifts.

"For lack of better phrasing, or sounding ignorant.. how?"

Brendan literally rolls his eyes. One of which is all but closed shut due to the stitches beside it. "Seriously?"

"Look," Dean starts yet again, stepping forward in what has to be a mindless attempt to put himself between Cas and Brendan. "We just-"

"Can I talk to him alone?" Brendan says then, gaze flitting from Dean to Cas- thus thoroughly rooting Cas into place.

Cause.. come again?

"What?" Dean asks.

"Cas," Brendan clarifies. "Can I talk to him alone for a minute?"

Then he tacks on, "Please?"

"Uh.. I don't-"

"It's okay, Dean," Cas assures softly, turning to touch a gentle hand to his elbow. "I don't mind."

"You sure?" Dean says, nothing but open, _sincere_ concern in his face.

Cas nods. "I think it's what has to happen."

Dean watches him for a second, then leans in to press a sweet kiss to his lips. "I'll be right outside, okay?"

Cas nods again. "Kay."

"When he's done," Dean says, glancing back at Brendan, "I'd like a minute too, if that's cool?"

Brendan nods. "Of course."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said before that I would put possible trigger warnings before the chapters once we got into Brendan's/Cas' stories, but this ended up being a lot less angsty/detailed than I had expected, so I didn't really see a reason to do so.
> 
> Also! HOLY CRAP! Thank you guys so much!! <3333 !!!!!


	82. Chapter 82

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See end notes for possible trigger warnings.

"So that's weird," Brendan says as soon as the door closes behind Dean, dragging Cas' attention from it, to him.

"What is?"

Brendan nods towards the door. "You and Dean."

Oh.

"Uh," Cas shifts. Shrugs. "I guess so."

Though, it makes total sense why Brendan would think such a thing. Seeing as how the last he knew, they weren't official. And Cas highly doubts that Meegan, Jake or even Kennedy would have bothered to fill him in to anything otherwise.

He probably hadn't seen the article in the paper, either.

"I just mean," Brendan starts, then pauses, as if he's searching for the right words.

It's uncharacteristic as shit, and Cas tries not to stare.

Brendan clears his throat. "I've never seen two people look at each other like that. And it's weird that it's you two who are doing it."

And.. _oh_.

Cas shifts again, unsure of how to take that, which was no doubt a very obscure compliment, so he goes with, "Thank you?"

Brendan looks down at his puffy striped comforter, and begins to pick at what must be a loose thread. "You know," he says thoughtfully, "I never would've pegged Dean as gay."

Cas blinks.

Then, "Well, that's good," he says, lowering the flowers. "Because he's not."

Brendan glances up at him, but doesn't say anything.

"He's bi."

A silent _ah_ rounds Brendan's mouth, and it's when he goes back to the loose thread that Cas kinda starts hoping he'll cut to the chase.

_This isn't going anything like I pictured it would_.

"Guess that just proves how shitty of a friend I was."

Cas rolls his bottom lip between his teeth in lieu of response, as he doesn't quite know _how_ to respond to that. Because Brendan _was_ , a shitty friend.

Maybe even still might be. Cas isn't the one to know, or take such a guess.

"You can agree with me you know," Brendan states, almost as if he'd read Cas' mind, and Cas finds himself stepping closer as he retorts:

"I.. don't think I'm qualified to comment on your entire friendship, but from what I've witnessed firsthand.. yes, you _were.._ a shitty friend."

Brendan huffs, but there's no humor whatsoever in it. "Kinda fucked up how it took me almost dying to realize that, huh?"

Cas stops beside the bed- mindful of the medical equipment as he sets the flowers on the small table to his right, and searches Brendan's face for any sign of the boy he'd come to recognize as his tormentor for the last however many years.

There's not a trace of him to be found, so Cas musters a bit of bravery in himself, and sits on the edge of the mattress.

Slowly.

.. cautiously.

"It is," he agrees, turning his torso enough to regard Brendan fully, and marveling over how the hell he'd gotten so bold. "But unfortunately, sometimes it takes something extreme for us to see all the horrible things about ourselves we previously chose not to. Or were immune to."

"You sound like you speak from experience," Brendan muses after a reposeful moment, eyes once again unwavering from the white thread between his fingers.

"A little," Cas admits, then drops his own gaze.

_Jesus_.

How did this breach super heart-to-heart territory?!

A beat passes, then two, then..

"I'm sorry."

Cas' chest pangs with the words he never thought he'd hear in his entire life, and he only lifts his head _just_ enough to peer from under his lashes.

"I'm so fucking sorry," Brendan says again, voice unsteady and thick with emotion. He finally meets Cas' eye, and part of Cas wishes he would of continued to look at the blanket.

Because there's nothing but pain, and regret, and a few other things Cas can't label staring back at him.

"I wish I had some huge, deep reason for all the shit I've done to you, other than just being a twisted asshole, but I don't. I'm just-" he shakes his head, then swallows. "Just.. how _fucked_ is that?"

Cas knows it's a rhetorical question, so he doesn't even attempt to form an answer.

Which is probably for the best anyway, seeing as how his throat is so goddamn tight he's not even sure how he's managing to breathe right now.

"And then you," Brendan actually _wracks_ with an invisible sob; his chest sputtering as he works to inhale. Cas' eyes begin to sting as he watches the thin t-shirt expand, causing a few of the wires lying against it to shift. "Then you bring me _flowers_. How do you- how the hell is someone even that _good_? How are you not-"

He cuts off again to try and gather himself, closing his eyes in the process, then covers them with his unmarred hand.

The next time Cas blinks, it leaves his cheeks wet, and after two, or even ten minutes pass of weighted silence, he finally reaches out to bridge some sort of contact.

Any contact.

Which ultimately ends up being in the form of a light touch against the back of Brendan's wrist. "I forgive you," he says quietly, afraid his voice will waiver.

Brendan doesn't budge, but Cas can hear, as well as see, Brendan's breath stutter.

"What?"

Cas huffs, then lowers his hand. "I forgive you."

"But why?"

Brendan lowers his own hand now, and frowns at Cas like he's trying to figure out what exactly he is.

Cas shrugs. "Because I'm happy. Maybe? Or I just can't stand the thought of being on bad terms with anyone anymore, because it's not worth it. I mean honestly, what's the point?"

Brendan continues to stare. Then, "There isn't one."

And that's when it really sets in stone; the fact that the Brendan Malowski everyone had known, loved, hated and feared was gone. Possibly forever. But again, Cas isn't the one to make such an elongated call.

"So," Cas exhales in a whoosh, fingers splaying on the comforter as he leans slightly on it, "are we.. good, now? Like, no more bullshit?"

"Yes," Brendan says immediately, quicker than he'd said anything yet. "No more bullshit. And I'm not saying I expect us to become friends or whatever, but yea.." he nods, "we're good."

Cas' mouth quirks up into a half smile, and he nods as well, dropping his gaze to the charcoal stripes beneath him. "Good."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possible trigger warnings: a mention of medical equipment, wires on Brendan's chest, and brief mention of near death. Also, kinda emotionally heavy conversation.
> 
> And, here's my obligatory 'this is longer than my usual' update, so we all know what that means: if you note any errors or inconsistencies, please don't hesitate to point them out! Thank you :D


	83. Chapter 83

"So," Dean starts, fidgeting with his thumbs as he stands beside Brendan's bed. "You're finally gonna have that badass battle scar you've always wanted."

Brendan snorts, and tips his head back against the pillows. "Yup."

"It's probably gonna heal up all gnarly, too."

"That's what I'm hoping for."

There's a quiet, semi-awkward lull, and the base of Dean's neck starts to sweat again like it had in the hall when Cas came out. Then, Brendan glances at him out of the corner of his eye.

"Cas is pretty cool."

Dean's eyebrows threaten to retreat into his hairline. "He.. is."

Then, "He's fucking amazing, actually."

"I should have listened when you told me that the first time."

Dean blinks.

Well..

"But I was too focused on our image. Our brand. And _how would it look if?_ "

Dean doesn't say anything.

"Man, I was such a tool. No wonder you told me to get fucked."

He ends with a huff here, and Dean can't help but sneak one himself.

"Yea.. well. I mean, I used to be kinda awful too, so.."

"True. But not as bad as the rest of us."

Dean nods slowly, hands now slipping into his pockets.

"I just want there to be no bad blood between us, you know?" he says, heaving a breath before continuing. "Me and Cas, we just- we just wanna finish out the year with no bullshit. No drama no angst."

Brendan turns his head to look at him full on, and there's nothing but sincerity when he replies, "You won't get any from me. And I'll talk to the others, if I have to. There's no reason for it anymore. There never even _was_. So fucking dumb to begin with."

Dean stares, trying to fit the guy he's currently having this conversation with into the form of the one who had been his closest friend for practically his entire life, and he can't.

"Thank you."

Brendan scoffs. "You shouldn't have to thank me for not being an asshole to you."

"But-"

"Just. I get the sentiment, but don't. Alright?"

Dean bites his bottom lip, then, "Alright."

"Okay."

".. okay."

"So," Brendan says, clearing his throat, "I'm really glad you guys came today."

Ducking his head to conceal his tiny smile, Dean nods again. "Me too."

.

"How did it go?" Cas asks as soon as Dean steps back into the hall.

John came by a few minutes ago to see if they still needed him to stick around, and after Cas told him they were good, he gave Cas one of the biggest, most loving hugs he'd ever received from an adult before.

Or well, from an authoritative familial figure.

"Fuckin'.. Dean exhales in awe, or disbelief, or maybe even both. "That was.."

"I know," Cas agrees. Because he does. Totally.

"I wanna show you something," Dean says suddenly, reaching out to take Cas' hand, then starts pulling him down the hallway.

"What?" Cas laughs, as Dean's abrupt change in mood has him feeling sort of giddy.

"It's a surprise."

And, judging by the giant grin splitting Dean's face, it's going to be a good one.

 _Maybe after this, I can tell him about my parents_.

Cas grins himself, and links their fingers, hurrying to keep up. "I swear to god if you make me fall down these stairs.."

"I'd catch you," Dean says over his shoulder, which just solidifies Cas' previous thought into that of the affirmative.

 _Yep, definitely after this_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> : )


	84. Chapter 84

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please see end notes for possible trigger warnings.

"Where are we going?" Cas asks when instead of turning back towards town, to Dean's house, or even his, they go in the opposite direction, towards the edge of it.

Dean smiles, then just repeats himself from a little while ago, "It's a surprise."

"Dean."

" _Babe_ ," Dean counters, glancing at him briefly before returning his eyes to the road.

"Are you kidnapping me?"

"Maybe."

"You know, you should have at least _warned_ me beforehand, so I could've told Elise that our house will be empty for the next foreseeable future."

Dean laughs, shaking his head. "Don't worry, you're gonna love it."

.

"Holy shit," Cas breathes once they breech the clearing of the Lookout.

"I know," Dean says, shifting into park, then reaching for his seat belt. "Pretty, isn't it?"

"Uh.. I don't think pretty is the right word here," Cas responds, unbuckling himself. "This is like.. fuck. This is _beautiful_."

He slips from the car then, and meanders to the ledge. Dean follows.

"Did you come here a lot?" Cas asks when he stops beside him.

"Yea, but not since the beginning of school."

Cas hums. "Probably really nice in the summer, huh?"

"Very," Dean smiles, twining their fingers. "We should come back next year, and you can bring your camera."

Cas grins. "I'd like that."

Dean leans in, going for a kiss, then huffs when Cas meets him half way, and nips at his bottom lip.

"Thank you for showing me this."

"Of course," Dean murmurs. "I wanna show you everything that's in my life. Want you to be a part of it all."

Cas hums again, then pecks him once more. "Speaking of which.."

"Hmm?"

"Can we sit down?" Cas asks, nodding towards the logs positioned around the empty fire pit.

Dean nods as well, his stomach slightly twisting at the tiny furrow that's wedged itself between Cas' brows, and leads them over.

"What's up?" he says when they're seated, semi-facing each other with their knees touching.

Immediately, Cas takes both of his hands within his own, then sucks in a deep breath through his nose. On the exhale, he says, "My parents were junkies."

Dean blinks.

Then, his heart sinks.

"Oh, _baby_.." he starts, but Cas just shakes his head, squeezing his fingers.

"Or, _are_ junkies, I guess I should say. I don't know. I haven't seen them since I was five. And I'm not even sure if they're still around, like I said before, but yea. That's why I lived with my aunt and uncle til I was old enough to move in with Elise."

"I'm so sorry," Dean whispers, raising their joined fists to kiss Cas' knuckles.

Cas smiles wistfully. "I don't remember much from before they left anyway. Just that I spent more time with random family members than them. They used to drink a lot too, and fight. So in hindsight, it was probably sort of a blessing that they pawned me off whenever they were able."

Cas huffs, and Dean just stares, his chest aching with the raw, deeply buried pain he can see rising to the surface within Cas' eyes.

"And what's funny is that even my aunt and uncle didn't want me."

 _Jesus Christ_.

"But they had no choice other than to take me, cause one day my parents just didn't come back. So they were stuck with me whether they had a say or not."

Dean doesn't want to voice it, but he knows his silence speaks for him well enough.

"I know, why didn't they just give me to CPS, right?"

Dean nods, vision blurring.

"I've always wondered that too, but I guess somewhere under all the layers of hate for her sister and what she did to their family, my aunt just couldn't bring herself to do that to a little, helpless kid who didn't know any better from anything else."

"Fuck," Dean breathes, clenching Cas' hand so tight he's sure it's starting to hurt, but he can't help it. He can't-

"I'm not that same helpless little kid anymore though. Elise played a major part in my upbringing. Even if her parents only did the bare minimum, she was there for me. She was, for every intent and purpose, my caregiver. My guardian."

"What'd you do when she moved out?" Dean asks.

"Oh, she stayed through college," Cas says on another exhale. "Didn't actually move out until five years ago, when I was already old enough to mind for myself."

Dean stares. He cannot even begin to imagine-

"Don't," Cas says quietly, untangling one of his hands to reach up and brush Dean's cheek with his thumb.

_When did I start crying?_

"I don't want you to be sad now, especially about this," Cas continues, holding his chin delicately. "It still hurts, sure, but I've had time to heal. _You've_ helped me heal. Your mom, your dad. _Sammy_. You've all helped patch up that last remaining bit that kept seeming to work itself back open."

Dean's chest wracks with emotion, and he lunges forward to encase Cas in his arms; holding him so closely that he wants Cas to forget where one of them ends and the other begins.

"I love you so much," he says, getting a mouth full of Cas' hair. "So fucking much. You're so strong. So _good_ , and kind-"

"You're gonna make me cry," Cas murmurs, wetly, which means he already is.

"Sorry. I don't mean to.. I just- _fuck_ -"

"I know, Dean," Cas whispers, clutching at Dean's hoodie.

"Thank you for telling me."

"Of course," Cas huffs, then sniffs. "I should have told you sooner."

"No," Dean says while pulling back. "I told you, I wouldn't care if you _never_ told me. I'd love you regardless."

"I'll never understand what I did to deserve you."

Dean smiles, a small thing, then leans forward to rest their foreheads together, his hand coming up to cradle the base of Cas' neck. "Ditto."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possible trigger warnings: mention of drug and alcohol abuse, as well as slight neglect from Cas' parents, and kinda heavy feels.
> 
> Also, thank you guys so much. You're so rad <3


	85. Chapter 85

_[Received-Dean]_

_mom wants to know if u like those tofu log things_

Cas frowns at his phone.

_[Delivered]_

_the what?_

_[Received]_

_u know, those tofu holiday things. like a turkey or ham_

_[Received]_

_but vegetarian_

_[Received]_

_shes doing the thanksgiving shopping right now and wants to know which to get for u_

Cas smiles.

_[Delivered]_

_either sounds good. so whatever she feels like getting_

_[Received]_

_k_

He snorts, then types out a quick reply before tossing his phone aside.

_[Delivered]_

_tell her i said thank u_

.

"He said thank you," Dean says to his mom, who is on speakerphone.

"Tell him he's welcome," she replies with an apparent smile, then asks, "Does he have a favorite desert?"

Dean juts his lips out as he thinks, and taps the end of his phone on his chin. "Brownies. But those super fudgy ones with caramel. Or strawberry torts."

"I'll pick up the ingredients for both, then."

"He's gonna shit."

"I hope not," Mary laughs, and Dean just rolls his eyes.

"You know what I mean."

"I do," she admits jovially. "Do you think he'd want to help make them? Or would that be asking too much? I could teach him my recipes, and we could make a morning of it."

Warmth blooms in Dean's chest, and he smiles, wide. "I think he'd love that, actually."

"Yea?"

He nods, even though she can't see him. "Definitely."

.

Cas nearly forgets to plug his phone in before he falls asleep, and he has to stare at the screen for a minute before registering what the words in the two notification bubbles read:

_she said ur welcome_

and

_was also wondering if youd wanna help with the deserts the morning of. its usually pretty fun, cause she lets u lick the spoon ;)_

Cas grins, stupidly, and fumbles out a response. Despite the fact that it's well after midnight, and Dean is probably already asleep.

_[Delivered]_

_u had me at desert. so count me in :P_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *flings schmoopy confetti in the air*
> 
> I think we've pretty much made it over the super angsty, sad hurdles, and are encroaching tepid, smooth-sailing waters from here on out.
> 
> That being said, there will be slight time jumps going forward, so.. just a heads up on that! And as always, thank you guys so, sooo much, because this wouldn't have made it half as far as it has if it weren't for all of your lovely, wonderful, truly INCREDIBLE AND AMAZING feedback. So, thanks. A lot. <3


	86. Chapter 86

"Forget we have school today?"

"It's break," Cas mumbles into his pillow.

Dean snorts. "That starts tomorrow."

"No," Cas says, still in the pillow. "It's a half day. No one goes on half days. So it starts _today_."

"I have to talk to Jones though, about that extra credit."

Now, Cas moves.

"Seriously?" he all but glares over his shoulder.

Dean grins sleepily. "Uh huh."

"Goddammit."

"Oh, c'mon," Dean laughs, shaking Cas' hip under the blanket. "It's only half a day."

"But I wanted to sleep in," Cas whines, dropping his face back to the pillowcase. "And I'm so comfortable."

 _Jesus_.

"We will literally never leave the bed for the entirety of the break, except for t-day of course, if that's what you want."

"Never?" Cas repeats, hopefully.

"Only to pee and get more snacks."

"Fine," Cas harrumphs, tossing the comforter aside. "But we're stopping to get donuts, and you're making the coffee."

"Done," Dean whole-on grins now. "And hey, you don't even have to change your clothes."

"Wasn't plannin' on it anyway."

.

"Told you no one comes on half days," Cas teases when they turn down the main hall, and it's all but empty.

"I always do."

Cas huffs. "That's because you're a model student."

"Hardly."

"More than me."

"Oh, whatev-"

"Dean!"

They both stop, and glance behind them at the high pitched, way too loud voice given their near desolate surroundings.

It's Meegan, and she's flanked by Celeste, Jake, and Declan.

Cas' stomach twists. Because regardless of the fact that they've stayed true to Brendan's promise of no more bullshit, they haven't really all had much interaction other than the occasional wave or nod of acknowledgment.

"What's.. up?" Dean asks slowly, clearly sharing in Cas' trepidation.

"We just," Meegan starts, looking from Jake to Celeste on either side of her before continuing. "I'm having people over tonight. Nothing big, but we wanted to extend the invitation to you."

Cas stares.

_What-_

" _Both_ , of you," she hastily corrects, noting the awkward silence. "Obviously."

Then she huffs, and smiles at Cas- like full out  _smiles_ ; causing his eyes to widen to the size of dinner plates.

"We understand if you already have plans though," she continues when neither of them speak, again, then shifts slightly in a way that Cas concludes must be foreign to her.

"But it'd be cool if you came," Jake chimes in now, and yep, this has officially gotten wild.

"Uh.." Dean says, no doubt at a loss for words.

Cas sure the hell is.

"That's.. really nice of you," Dean finally concedes, glancing briefly at Cas. "But I think we're gonna have to pass."

Meegan nods, and pulls her bottom lip between her teeth. "Yea, for sure. I just thought, you know.."

It's here that Cas realizes why he's so floundered by all of this; as they're each wearing matching expressions and demeanors very close to, if not _exactly_ the same as Brendan had wore the day he and Dean went to visit.

Cas deflates, minutely, then clears his throat. "Thank you, though. For asking."

The side of her mouth quirks, and she tucks a strand of hair behind he ear. "No problem."

Then, Celeste steals the spotlight, blatantly checking them out from head to toe while interjecting with, "Can I just say, real quick, you guys are like.. _seriously_ rocking that aesthetic."

Cas blinks, instantly dumbfounded.

" _What?!_ " Dean laughs, face scrunched up in surprised, but somewhat embarrassed confusion.

He's blushing.

She smiles, then motions towards them with a petite, manicured hand; thus making them look down at themselves.

Hoodies, worn jersey pajama pants, and the same t-shirts they slept in look back at them.

Cas snorts. "We literally just crawled out of bed, but.. thank you?"

"It works," she says appreciatively. "Especially with the-" she taps her septum, then nostril, "and all the shagginess up top."

 _Oh my god_.

Dean mutters an amused _thanks_ just as Meegan hooks Celeste around the elbow, and begins to tug her away.

Hurriedly.

Jake and Declan follow.

"See you guys later," she says over her shoulder, almost as if on damage control.

Then, Cas hears something along the lines of _it's bad enough you were drooling over Cas before, but now_ both _of them? together? jesus, cece, don't be gross. they're not sex objects_.

"What.." Cas breathes, "the fresh fuck was that?"

"I have no idea," Dean admits.

"Are you sure we're even at school right now, and not actually still in room? Sleeping?"

Dean snorts, then shakes his head. "You know, now that you mention it, my money's leaning towards sleepwalking."

"Yea. Definitely."

The first bell blares overhead then, successfully breaking the illusion of a dream.

"Nope," Dean says, sliding his fingers between Cas' when they turn to resume their original route. "Very much awake, and very much real life."

"We should have just skipped."

"No way!" Dean laughs again, squeezing Cas' hand. "Extra credit, babe. _Extra credit_."

 


	87. Chapter 87

"I want ice cream."

"You want what?" Dean asks, peeking down at Cas who is half-buried in the front of his hoodie.

"Ice cream," Cas repeats, louder, while turning his face a bit more to be heard. "It sounds really good right now."

"It's like, midnight," Dean says with a huff.

Cas untangles an arm, and leans forward to tap at his phone on the coffee table, which causes the blanket that had been wrapped around him to fall in his lap. "It's ten thirty."

"My point is nothing's open."

"Gas stations are."

Dean give Cas a _look_. "You want gas station ice cream?"

"Dean ice cream is ice cream."

Affronted, Dean dodges Cas' attempt to re-situate while they confer. "I cannot believe you just said that. Ice cream is _not_ ice cream, babe. I mean.. who _are_ you?"

Cas snorts. "You're ridiculous."

"No," Dean says, holding Cas at arms length, making his cheeks scrunch up from soft giggles. " _You're_ ridiculous. You're honestly telling me you'd eat it even if it's freezer-burnt?"

"Okay that's-"

"A total possibility. A _likely_ one, actually."

"Oh my god-"

"No, no," Dean continues, his own face turning up into a partial grin. "Not to mention it's usually that weird off brand that no one's ever heard of. The kind that tastes like air. Or frozen milk."

"Oh my _god_!" Cas pushes at Dean, gently, as a laugh billows up out of him.

Dean catches his hand, and just holds it. "But I mean, if you wanna pint of cold milk air, then who am I to stand in your way."

" _Jesus_ -"

"Go get your shoes on, dork."

.

"Wow," Cas says sarcastically, holding up a second container. "I've never heard of _this_ brand, either."

"Shut up."

Cas grins, and puts the first one back in the cooler. His hood is up, but he shivers regardless. "I'll still share my cookies n'-"

"Well, look who it is," a familiar voice says next to them, cutting Cas' words short.

Dean glances over before Cas does, and the friendly smile that graces his lips makes one sprout on Cas' as well.

"Hey, Jacobe, how's it goin'?"

"Good, good," Jacobe answers Dean, then tips forward a little so as to study his septum; mindful not to get too close, seeing as how they're standing in the middle of a gas station/liquor store. "So that's healing up pretty stellar, huh?"

Dean nods. "Got an expert over here on the aftercare, so," he ends with an adorable shrug, and Cas snorts.

Now, Jacobe regards Cas for the first time, and Cas sees exactly what Dean had been talking about before; the tiny flicker of whatever it was that made it seem like they had a history. Or at least some form of one-sided infatuation.

"I've told him before, you know," Jacobe says while still looking at Cas, "I wouldn't mind having an apprentice, if he wanted to learn the way."

Cas shakes his head fondly while rolling his eyes. "And I told _him_ ," he retorts, all attention on Dean, "that I don't think I could stomach making people bleed like that."

Dean grins, wide, and puts his hands in his hoodie pockets. "You're so cute, babe."

"Shut up," Cas fires back, much like Dean had done a few minutes ago.

Jacobe snorts. "You're _both_ cute. Honestly, like, the perfect match."

This earns similar blushes to sprout on either of their faces, and then it's Jacobe who's shaking his head fondly. "Anyway, I was gonna see if you guys wanted to maybe hang out tonight. I know it's kinda late, but some friends of mine are having a house-show of sorts a couple blocks over. I'm actually on a booze run right now as we speak."

Cas opens his mouth to question this, because Jacobe is definitely not old enough to buy alcohol legally, when another guy comes around the corner, then stops right behind him.

He's wearing a saggy beanie and has a tattooed throat, and holds up two giant cases of beer with a crooked smile; revealing that he's missing half of his front tooth.

Cas smiles, because he recognizes him from the studio. "Hey Mickey."

"Sup, Cas? You guys gonna come out tonight? I haven't played yet, so you wouldn't have missed much so far."

"Dude," Jacobe chastises lightheartedly, to which Mickey tips his head back and laughs.

"I'm just fuckin'. Anyway, we gotta get. They're gonna riot if we're not back stat."

"Right, right. For sure," Jacobe says, starting to back away. "So, you guys down or.."

Cas looks to Dean, who is already looking at Cas. He shrugs.

"Yea?" Cas asks, though it's more in confirmation from Dean than anything.

Dean grins again, just as wide. "Yea."

"Sweet!" Jacobe says with a single clap of his hands, still walking backwards. Mickey's already disappeared to pay. "227 Whitte. Park anywhere, and come in around back. Just follow the noise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D!!!!!!!
> 
> Edit: I totally spelled Jacobe wrong the first time around (with an 'y' lol- way to go, morning writing!) So, apologies for that! I think I caught them all, if not, please holler! Thank you ;)


	88. Chapter 88

"He said 227, right?" Dean asks as he parks the truck along the grubby curb. It's overgrown with weeds, cracked, and crumbling in multiple places.

"Pretty sure, yea," Cas says, unbuckling to lean forward, so he can peer out the windshield better.

It's a building.

Or, rather, a storefront.

A _headshop_ to be more specific, complete with tie-dye curtains and those beaded rope things in the windows.

He huffs. "I didn't even know this was here."

He should have, considering that it's only a handful of blocks from his house. But he tends to not come this way often, as it's less than desirable.

Not _bad_ , per se, but definitely more on the rougher side of town.

"Do you have his number?" Dean asks next, clearly referring to Jacobe.

"No."

Dean rolls down the window then, and sticks his head out.

Though, he didn't really need to do that, because as soon as it was cracked, the distinct hum of loud music came flooding in.

"Well, this is obviously the place. You still wanna go in?"

Cas contemplates for a moment, then nods. "Might as well. We're already here."

"Cause we can just go back to your house, eat the whole tub of ice cream, and pass out after kissing til we can't feel our lips."

The offer sounds tantalizing, but they just _came_ from Cas' house, after stopping by to drop off said ice cream and change into more socially appropriate clothes. Like actual jeans.

"I think we should at least check it out," Cas says, bracing his hand on the door handle. "Just to see what's going on. We can leave if it's too.."

"Rowdy?"

Cas huffs. "Yes. Rowdy."

"Kay," Dean smiles, and grabs his own handle. "Do you wanna have a code word? Like, if it gets awkward or something?"

Oh my god.

Snorting, Cas dips back into the middle of the cab, over the console, and steals himself a kiss. "How about I just yawn? And we can use being tired as an excuse to leave? Seeing as how it's not really a lie, and Jacobe and Mickey already seen us in our pj's."

"A yawn it is, then," Dean concedes, then pecks Cas' bottom lip again. "Let's go."

.

As it turns out, they don't need to use a code word after all. Or, a yawn.

Because aside from the copious drinking and questionable location of the 'venue', it's pretty alright.

More than alright, actually. It's fucking great.

And to top it all off, there's a freaking _half-pipe_ set up in the back of the lot, where a large group of party-goers have congregated to watch those willing to brave it barrel down the sides, pause on the rail, flip, trick, or whatever the hell else they may feel the urge to attempt.

Cas is one of those people, and if Dean wasn't already so goddamn smitten with him, he'd be dropping to one knee right here right now, and pleading for his hand in marriage, or at the very least a promise of eternity.

Because Cas on level ground, just doing the most mundane of human tasks is incredible enough. But seeing Cas practically glide through the air like a freaking graceful wind ballerina while braced on a tiny wooden slab connected to wheels is something else entirely.

"I didn't know he could skate," a voice says beside Dean, suddenly, thus causing him to tear his eyes away.

It's Jacobe, and he's noticeably less coherent than he was when they got first here.

Hammered, Dean thinks is a more appropriate word to describe Jacobe's state.

His lip quirks.

"Me neither."

At Jacobe's surprised expression, Dean corrects with, "I mean, not like _this_."

"Ah," Jacobe breathes, distantly, then sways minutely before steadying himself against the fence Dean is standing next to. "Is there anything he _can't_ do? Every time I try to find a flaw in his existence, I come up short. He's like.. perfect."

Dean blinks.

"He is."

"Sorry," Jacobe says, clearly catching his tone. "I didn't mean to-"

"It's cool," Dean amends, because it really is. He gets it. He understands so hard it physically hurts.

"You know that I was into him, before."

And the way Jacobe says it, it's more of a statement, as opposed to a question, so Dean nods.

"Yea."

"But I would never, you know.. try anything."

Dean nods again. "I got that."

"Cause I think you guys are really cool. And I'd like us to hang out more. But I don't want that to be something that's always in the back of your head, deterring you from doing so."

Dean huffs, then feels a small smile bloom across his face. "I'm here right now, aren't I?"

A beat passes, and Jacobe smiles as well. "You are."

".. because I know that I've got nothing to worry about. And even if I _did_ think I had something to worry about, I'd still be here anyway if that's what Cas wanted."

"That's good."

"And I know I speak for both of us when I say that we'd like to hang out more, too."

".. yea?"

"Yep."

"Right on," Jacobe grins, full and bright, then knocks Dean's arm with his elbow. "So on a scale of one to ten, how wise do you think it'd be for me to try that."

He nods towards the half-pipe, where Cas just so happens to be standing at the top, board in hand, with a curious tilt to his head as he watches their interaction below.

Dean side eyes Jacobe, pointedly, then flops his tongue out to indicate that Jacobe's wasted. Cas laughs.

"One being the wisest, or least wisest?" Dean asks, yet to move his gaze from Cas.

"One being the least wisest," Jacobe says.

"Then, zero."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3


	89. Chapter 89

_[Received-Jacobe]_

_im glad u guys came out last night. it was mad fun. n tell dean i said thanks again for having my back cause i appreciate not having to wear a neck brace for the next foreseeable future k?_

Cas snorts, and wiggles his butt closer to Dean's thigh.

They're laying on the couch again- well, draped really, to literally no one's surprise.

"What?" Dean asks, sliding his hand up Cas' leg.

Cas flips his phone, chin pressed to his chest.

Dean smiles.

"Yea good luck trying to pierce people when you're stiff from the shoulders up. Tell him I said no problem, that's what friends are for."

Cas grins.

_[Delivered]_

_he said thats what friends are for, so no problem. and it was fun. thanks for inviting us ;)_

_[Received]_

_theyre having another one in a few weeks, if u guys would be down for that too?_

"Would you wanna go to another show in a couple weeks?" Cas asks, peeking over top his phone.

Dean makes an impartial face, then shrugs. "Maybe not hang outside for so long, cause when you're not drinking, it gets cold as shit," he laughs, then adds, "But yea, sounds good. Tell him we'll be there."

_[Delivered]_

_count us in_

_[Received]_

_word. will do. n hey u guys have a happy turkey day. dont eat too much!_

Cas snorts again.

_[Delivered]_

_we wont. and you too!_

That signals the end of the conversation, so Cas sets his phone on the coffee table, and reaches out to grab Dean's hand.

He glances over, then smiles when Cas twines their fingers.

"I'm glad you guys talked," Cas says, resting their hands against his chin. Dean leans to accommodate the stretch.

"Me too."

"Cause I was worried it would be weird, you know? After.."

Dean hums, then brushes his thumb across the dip in Cas' upper lip. "I do."

Cas smirks, and kisses it.

Humming again, Dean takes that as his cue to shift so that he's able to scoot between Cas' legs, when Cas drapes them on either side of his waist. "Also, why the hell did you downplay how awesome you were at skating?"

Cas blinks, then flushes a bit. "I'm not that good.."

"Babe," Dean says, ducking down to press a kiss to his forehead. "You were owning a fucking _half-pipe_ , for Christ's sake. I'd say that qualifies as good. Better than good, actually."

"It wasn't-"

"It was hot."

The corners of Cas' mouth quirk, and he peers up at Dean, coyly. Knowingly. "Yea?"

"Oh yea," Dean concedes, leaning down again to brush their lips together. "So hot."

Cas hums, and smiles into it as Dean swipes his tongue along the seam, requesting access.

Cas gives it to him, then slips his arms up, around Dean's neck. Cradling hands drag him closer.

Suddenly craving.

"Oh?" Dean asks with a smirk.

Cas loves him like this.

"Uh huh," he breathes, arching for more.

So Dean obliges, and grinds.

There's a gasp.

And another smirk.

Then, familiar, deft hands find their way under Cas' already rucked shirt; pushing it up further.

A shiver.

And, well.. we all know where this goes next.

Bliss.


	90. Chapter 90

"Dean?" Cas calls through the bathroom door, as Dean's phone vibrates away in his hand.

"Yea?"

"Your mom's calling."

"So answer it."

And while Dean's voice may be muffled by the semi-solid wood barrier between them, Cas can still note the tone of ' _duh_ ' in it.

So he swipes his thumb across the screen, and begins to meander back down the hall as he raises it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Cas?" Mary asks, with a fondness Cas has yet to totally become accustomed to.

He smiles.

"Yea," he says, rounding into the living room. "Dean's in the bathroom."

"Oh," she huffs, then sounds as if she shifts the phone. "That's fine, because I was actually calling about you anyway."

He stops short, and lingers by the edge of the couch. "Oh?"

She hums, soft, _gentle_ , but it does nothing to ease rise of apprehension that generally happens on reflex.

He tamps it down.

"So, you remember Dean's aunt Melinda, right? From Sam's party?"

Of course Cas remembers. She was so cool.

He says as much.

Mary laughs, and Cas can't help the resulting feeling of lightness he gets in his chest from it.

"She called earlier, to see if you were going to be at Thanksgiving. I told her you would most definitely be, and she asked if I could politely pass along how it would be a lovely opportunity for you to show her your work. She reminded me not to be too pushy about it, though, because apparently she had said no pressure before, but she really is interested in seeing what you've done."

Cas is quiet for a moment, mulling over Mary's words, and trying to make sense of _why_ exactly Melinda wants to see his pictures so bad.

They're nothing special. Not professional grade or trained by any means.

He's just about to clear his throat, and tell Mary that it's too short of notice anyhow, that he doesn't have extra prints just lying around, ready to be scrutinized, and that he's too critical and anxious about his own stuff that he couldn't possibly share it with someone as established as _Melinda Winchester_ , but then a warm, comforting hand slots itself against his lower back, and he turns in time to see Dean smiling at him; wholly sweet and affectionately.

He returns it in kind, then says into the receiver, albeit quietly, "I don't have a portfolio made yet, though."

Dean's brows furrow, but only briefly, for he seems to pick up on the topic of conversation pretty quickly. Then he's grinning so wide it looks as if it's going to nearly split his face.

"That's okay, hunny," Mary says, reassuringly. Motherly. "Neither she nor I want you to feel stressed or overwhelmed about this, at all. It was just merely a suggestion. A light request, if you will. There'll be other times to show her, if you're comfortable doing so."

"I.." he starts to say, but the sentence won't finish forming itself on his tongue. Because Dean is practically bouncing on the balls of his feet, wearing an expression a lot like that of a small child on Christmas morning. "I'll see what I can do."

He can tell Mary is smiling before she even responds. "Oh, that's _wonderful_ , hunny. Let me know if you need help paying for anything, okay? Prints, the actual portfolio, anything. I don't want you to feel as if you have to cut corners to fit it into your budget. I know preparing stuff like this can get pricey. Especially if you get it professionally done."

Cas blinks, not expecting the offer. Though in hindsight, he probably should have. "I think I'll be able to manage it. I'll.."

"Okay," Mary says, understanding. "But, if you find you _can't_ , just let me know, alright?"

"Okay."

"Fantastic," she says, smile still present in her voice. "So will you boys be home before the day of?"

 _Home_.

"Um, I think for sure we'll be there the night before, so we can you know.. bake and stuff in the morning."

"Oh, and I'm looking forward to that so much!" she all but exclaims, and Cas has to tip the phone away from his ear as a huff rips through him.

Happy.

"Me too," he says, to which Dean only turns ten times giddier.

"Okay, well, I'll let you get back to whatever it was you were doing before I interrupted. We'll see you Wednesday."

"Yea, see you then."

"Love you, and have a good night."

"Love you too," he says on instinct, then stares unseeingly in front of him as the line goes silent.

That lasts for all of a fraction of a second before Dean's exuberant face is popping into his line of vision. "So we're gonna put together your portfolio? Oh my god babe this is so awesome! Where should we get the prints done? There's this place down on-"

"We've only got like two days to do it, Dean," Cas interjects, logic overruling the slice of excitement he's feeling himself. "So I don't know how much-"

A hand claps over his mouth then, effectively shutting him up.

He has the incredible urge to bite.

"Two days is totally enough time," Dean insists, keeping his hand firmly in place. "And if you bite me, I can't promise I won't like it."

Cas snorts, then shakes his head in spite of himself. "You're ridiculous."

"What was that?" Dean asks, teasing. Yet to move his fucking hand away.

"I said," Cas says louder, dipping his chin a bit so as to get better leeway. "You're ridiculous."

"I'm.. an incubus?"

 _Jesus Christ_.

Cas rolls his eyes. "I'm not repeating myself."

"Good, because I don't quite understand your accusations. I mean, wouldn't _you_ be the incubus, if you were the one biting _me_?"

"Oh my god!" Cas laughs, knocking Dean's hand away, then pushes him down to the couch. "Please stop talking, and just cuddle me, will you?"

"As you wish," Dean grins with a certain smugness, then wraps his arms around Cas from behind. He presses a chaste kiss right behind his ear. "But no for real.." his tone dips low, a gravel of a whisper, "I might actually like it if you tried your teeth sometime."

" _Dean_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was fun. :D


	91. Chapter 91

"How about this one?" Dean asks, holding up a familiar shade of green portfolio.

Cas smirks. "Did you just pick that because it's the same color as your eyes?"

"It is?" Dean says, appraising it with genuine surprise. Cas nods. "No way, _this_ green?"

"Uh huh."

"No wonder you're always staring longingly into them," Dean chides teasingly, then sets the portfolio back on the shelf. "Friggin' gorgeous, man."

"Wow, and here this whole time I thought I was wrong about you being so full of yourself."

Dean snorts, pressing his tongue to the back of his teeth, and bumps Cas with his hip. "Oh shut up, you know I'm joking."

"I do," Cas says, with an equally amused smile, then takes the portfolio off the shelf again. "I actually do like this."

Dean hums, and sidles closer. "The design of the embossed part is pretty cool."

"It is."

"So you gonna get that one, then?"

Cas glances up, and nods. "Yea."

.

"But we can have them by tomorrow _morning_ ," Dean tries to reason further, much to no avail.

As Cas can be super stubborn sometimes.

"Yea but it's like, twice as much," Cas fires back, without any real heat, but still.

"Babe," Dean tries again.

" _Babe_."

Ugh.

"It's not that big of a deal, I'll just show her at.. Christmas or something," Cas says a moment later.

Dean _just_ manages to avoid rolling his eyes. "That's dumb, and you know it."

"No," Cas counters, flipping the example book closed. With a tad bit more force than necessary. "It's smart. Because then we'll have more time to put it together and-"

Dean presses his forefinger to Cas' lips, snuffing his excuses on the spot. Cas narrows his eyes. "Mom said she'd help pay for it. And- ah ah," he shakes his head when Cas opens his mouth to protest, "she did so while being well aware of how much prints cost. Especially getting them done so quickly."

"This is so _expensive_ though," Cas says exasperatedly, finally batting Dean's hand away. "I can't take that kind of money from your mom."

"Fine," Dean quips without missing a beat. "Take it from me."

Cas blinks.

"Dean.."

"C'mon, babe," Dean leans in, tucking a stray, wayward lock of hair behind Cas' ear. "I know this is a big deal to you, and I know you're nervous about showing someone your stuff, but this is also a _huge_ opportunity. Like, massive. And I can _guarantee_ Aunt Melinda will want to exhibit your work. It's that fucking good."

A moment passes before Cas sighs, reluctantly, but there's also a sparkle in the corner of his eye that tells Dean he's considering those words.

Ruminating.

"You really think she'll wanna showcase my stuff?"

Dean grins, wide and beaming. "Hell yes. That's why I'm saying let's _do_ this, because we can totally hammer it out before Thursday. Then you'll be set. All legit and ready to go."

Another moment passes, then Cas smiles, just as wide and beaming as Dean. "Okay."

"Yea?" Dean asks, excitement jolting through him at the prospect of Cas being discovered.

 _Seen_.

"Yea."

"Sweet," Dean breathes, then taps on the tabletop once before pushing himself up from his chair. "I'll go let the guy know we're gonna do it. And you can go grab your pictures from the truck?"

Cas nods, stands as well, and accepts the keys from Dean's grip.

He pauses at the last minute to grab Dean's hand all together, then yanks him in.

"Wha-" Dean starts, but quiets instantly when Cas' lips meet his.

Tender.

_Grateful._

"Thank you," Cas whispers, soft and meant only for him.

Dean hums, nodding slightly so that their noses bump, then whispers right back, " _Anything for you babe_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (▰˘◡˘▰)


	92. Chapter 92

"What if you put this one next to that one?" Dean asks, holding up one of the Polaroid prints from the cemetery.

Cas hums, thoughtful. "You think?"

A nod. "Yea, definitely."

"Okay," Cas agrees, then moves the one that was originally in it's spot, and sets it beside the small _still-not-sure_ pile to his right.

They've set up shop on Dean's bedroom floor, with Sammy playing video games quietly in the corner while they mull over placement.

"Kay, then, how about this one.." Dean ponders, staring at the vast expanse of prints before them, "with.. this one."

Cas smiles. "You're so good at this."

"Pssh," Dean waves off, then sets the picture he was talking about by it's new mate. "I'm just matching feels."

"Feels?" Cas asks with a further quirk of his lips.

Dean snorts, his cheeks frosting pink. "Yea, like.. you know. Each picture has a certain 'feeling' you get when you look at it. So it only makes sense to put two beside each other that match that feeling, or add on to it, right?"

Now, Cas is straight up grinning. Goofily. "Right."

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Dean says after a beat, slowly, even though he's kind of matching Cas' grin dimple for dimple.

"Because you're so perfect. And I'm in love with you."

Dean opens his mouth to respond, but then a tiny voice pipes in from the other side of the room. "Uh, did you guys forget I was in here?"

They both glance towards it, where Sam is propped in one of the bean bags looking at them with an incredulous tilt to his brow, and erupt into laughter.

"No," Cas says, at the same time Dean admits, "Yea maybe for second."

"How nice," Sam quips, which causes Dean to roll his eyes.

"Oh, shut up," he says, and Cas pushes him lightly in the chest with a pointed look of his own.

Dean squints questioningly, but when Cas then says, "Why don't you come help, Sam? We could use another set of eyes," all the questioning is gone in an instant, and is swiftly replaced by the most adoring, fond expression in the world.

He doesn't have to actually speak the words in order for Cas to hear them either, loud and clear: _you're the best, and I love you_.

"You really want my help?" Sammy asks, hesitant.

But the game is already paused, and there's a giddy, almost _hopeful_ glint to his eyes.

Cas nods. "Of course."

In the next moment the controller is being tossed to the floor, and Sam is pushing out of the bean bag so fast it nearly flops onto it's side.

Both Dean and Cas laugh again, but this time it's filled with more affection than ever. Then they scooch over, away from each other, to make room for Sam in the middle of them.

A soft smile is shared over the top of his head as he immediately dives in, scrutinizing the spread of photos before them just like Dean had done a few minutes ago, and Cas knows there's nowhere he'd rather be, than right here. Always.

In this house, in this family.

 _A Winchester_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little shorty for you guys cause I just really had this scene stuck in my head. Also, thank you so much for your continued comments and support! I know this story is just dragging right along, and is nowhere near being complete, but it means the world to me to know you're still out there, enjoying it, as this is one of the biggest cathartic pieces I've ever created. So, thank you. <3


	93. Chapter 93

"Mm," Dean hums, nuzzling his face between Cas' shoulder blades. "Happy Thanksgiving, baby."

Cas smiles, then threads their fingers, shimmying further beneath the plush blanket. "Happy Thanksgiving."

He presses a soft kiss to Dean's knuckles, where he's pulled them to his lips, and smiles even wider when Dean returns the gesture by kissing the back of his neck.

"I can't believe we're spending our first holiday together," Dean murmurs, nosing along the base of Cas' collar.

"Second."

"Huh?"

"Our second holiday," Cas corrects, glancing over his shoulder. Dean frowns at him.

"Halloween?" he goes on to prompt, to which Dean just rolls his eyes.

"I mean our first _big_ holiday."

Cas scoffs, incredulous. Though it's highly feigned. "Are you insuating that Halloween isn't a big holiday, Dean?"

"It's not as big as Thanksgiving or Christmas."

"Oh my god," Cas rolls his own eyes, then goes to tug away for emphasis of his faux exasperation.

Dean catches him, and pulls him back. Making him bark out in laughter as he's flipped across the mattress.

Until Dean is looming over top of him.

Grinning down at him. All teeth and sleepy blinks; face soft and flushed and Cas has never been more enamored.

Endeared.

He tips his chin up, then brushes his bottom lip along Dean's. "I don't think I can be with someone who doesn't take Halloween seriously."

Dean huffs, before dipping in again and catching Cas' lip in earnest. "Well, fine," he murmurs. "What are your thoughts on St. Patrick's day then?"

"Eh," Cas shrugs a shoulder, scrunching half of his face in thought. "Debatable."

"Unbelievable," Dean snorts, bracing himself on his forearms. His face still close enough to taste. "You know, I don't think I can be with someone who doesn't take St. Pat's seriously."

Cas grins, wide and goofy. "Is that so?"

"Yah," Dean answers, the tip of his finger tracing the high of Cas' cheek.

He turns into it. "What are we supposed to do, then?"

"I dunno," Dean shrugs, though his body is already slotting itself between Cas' legs.

Hot where skin meets skin.

Cas smirks.

"I think I would be open to a friends-with-benefits type arrangement."

"Is that so?" Dean laughs, now cradling the side of Cas' face.

Cas kisses his palm, and nods. "Yep."

"Hmm," Dean hums, thoughtful. "I could probably work with something like that."

"Probably?"

"Mhm."

"So it's settled then."

"Guess so," Dean agrees, nudging Cas chin aside with his own. Soft, feather light kisses begin to pepper down his throat.

He moans.

"Looks like we're off to a stellar start," Dean's kisses turn to murmurs.

"Looks like it," Cas breathes before arching up, and pulling Dean's face to his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoooooooo!
> 
> Long time no see, eh? I think this largely in part has to do with me not wanting this story to end, at all. So, by my logic, if I just don't write it, it will forever hover in this perfect little bubble of gooey-goodness, right?
> 
> Right.
> 
> <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
